Recently, I brushed a heartfelt video on the Internet: a foreign daughter-in-law married her husband for three years, but was repeatedly driven out of the house by her mother-in-law.
In the video, a woman named Cui Xia angrily accused her mother-in-law, saying that her mother-in-law had always refused her to enter the house, and in desperation, she had to return to her mother's house when she was pregnant, and after giving birth to her son, she was taken back to her home by her husband, and her mother-in-law wanted to drive her out many times, and often humiliated her at every turn.
Zhou Guoping said: Good marriage is on earth, bad marriage is hell, don't think of finding heaven in marriage.
Deeply believed!
Stalling a bad marriage is tantamount to being in purgatory, and when you walk into it, it is like stepping into a bottomless abyss, whether in life or spirit, it will make you suffer.
01 She married away from home, but was driven out of the house by her mother-in-law many times
Zhang Yang had two failed marriages before knowing Cui Xia, and two adult daughters, the two met online, not long after meeting, Cui Xia became pregnant, and in the absence of any wedding and no ceremony, Cui Xia followed Zhang Yang back to his hometown.
Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law refused her to enter the house from the beginning, and it was difficult to live in, but the mother-in-law and the 20-year-old stepdaughter often bullied and humiliated her, and Cui Xia could not bear it and could only return to her mother's house.
It wasn't until she gave birth to a son in her mother's house that her husband came to pick her up and take her back, not wanting to, but her mother-in-law, who had never approved of her, once again stopped her outside the door and said: This is my home, I will not allow you to step into this home as a foreigner, so as not to dirty the door of my house.
Cui Xia had no choice but to hold her son who was not yet a full moon, rented a room in the local town, and later, under the constant persuasion of the neighbors, the mother-in-law reluctantly agreed to let her enter the door, but the day of moving to the in-laws' house was still unsatisfactory, and the mother-in-law often scolded her for being too lazy, and even the stepdaughter could casually point at her nose and scold, "You can't even bring the child well, what will you do?"
Lu Qi, an emotional expert, said: When you marry, you are not married to a certain person, but to marry all the social relations of this person. So what kind of family you marry, what kind of marriage will you have.
Many people were not worthy of Cui Xia, and from the beginning they were so humiliated by their in-laws that their future lives were almost predictable.
Cui Xia is also, a man has experienced two failed marriages, she should be cautious when she enters this marriage, not to mention that there are two stepdaughters who do not accept her, the mother-in-law is so bad, and she has said so absolutely, why do you have to die and not go, can you have some dignity?
You think that you are sacrificing for love, so that men can see their greatness and dedication, in exchange for men's sincerity and love, but do not know, the more such a woman who has no dignity and no bottom line to pay everything, in the eyes of men, the cheaper and not cherished, just like this mother-in-law said, "can't drive away", such a "cheap" woman, even if you beat her and scold her for abusing her, she should still be like a dog skin plaster that can't go away, do you still need to cherish?
You think you are married to love, but your constant compromise and humility, in exchange for others' arbitrary trampling and humiliation, even you do not respect yourself, who will respect you, even yourself do not love yourself, how can you ask men to truly love you!
02 A month of fifteen thousand living expenses are not willing to give men, women in the end what to do
Cui Xia did not seem to realize this, although she once broke down and cried when talking about her mother-in-law and stepdaughter's various insults and insults to her, but she still said that she did not want to divorce, where her mother-in-law was dissatisfied with her, she would slowly change, and at the same time she proposed that she hoped that Zhang Yang could give her a fixed living allowance of fifteen thousand every month, not three or five hundred at a time, happy to give, unhappy to scold.
Zhang Yang is also angry with Cui Xia, saying that she is not good with her mother, in addition to having children, she has no contribution to this family, as for living expenses, he feels that "he and his mother-in-law give her forty yuan a day for living expenses, calculated down is enough for a month's expenses, if he wants to give a thousand and five at a time, he can't get out." ”
Seeing this, my blood vessels are going to explode, I really want to go up and wake her up, such a family, such a man, what is the picture?
Sanmao once said: If love is not implemented in the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money, it is difficult to last forever.
A woman, with a child of more than one year old, lives in her in-laws' house, suffers from the cold eyes and insults of her in-laws, as a husband, she does not maintain her, even if she is not willing to give the usual living expenses, not to mention the maintenance of the wife, with the price of contemporary society, the cost of a child is not much, not to mention the mother-in-law and stepdaughter.
Some people say that the cheaper the marriage, the less serious you are. Even if you don't want anything, he will still think you want too much.
A marriage, you can not want money, you can not want to look like a family situation, and even you can not figure out love, but at least you have to figure out a sense of security, figure a person's respect and responsibility for you, figure he can hold up an umbrella for you when he encounters wind and rain, even if it is a broken umbrella, at least his hand is always on your back.
When you get married, you don't want anything, and when faced with the practical problems of chai rice oil and salt, you bargain with a begging posture, this humility will only make him more dismissive of you and define you as a "cheap woman".
As Teacher Tu Lei said:
A man who respects you will take the initiative to negotiate money with you, because he knows that marrying you should give you a good life, which is a man's responsibility and obligation, and he can't bear to let you eat bran wild vegetables with him. Of course, the premise is that you are a self-respecting and self-loving woman! And the man who doesn't respect you, as long as you talk to him about money, he will say that you are rich and poor before, thinking that you are not his person. Or if you talk about money, just ask the price, but you are just a number, don't talk about respect!
Stupid women often bargain and even raise prices, so cheap! Smart women never offer a price, let alone a counteroffer, so it's priceless. ”
A woman, who has learned self-esteem and self-love, will be respected, a woman, take herself seriously, others will take you seriously, with humility and begging in exchange for, will only be disdain and trampling.
03 Self-esteem, self-love and self-reliance are the practice of a woman's life
In "Thirty Only", Wang Manni is also a material "cheap woman" in the eyes of The Sea King Liang Zhengxian, although he will take her into various high-end clubs and will give her all kinds of buys and purchases, but in his eyes, she is always a "plaything" with a nominal price tag.
It wasn't until Wang Manni took off the gorgeous coat he had put on her and regained his self and self-esteem that Liang Zhengxian really began to respect her from the heart.
So don't put yourself lower and lower in a relationship, because your every effort to please and make concessions will only make you humble and cheap.
Jiang Fangzhou once said: Those who can really appreciate you will always appreciate your proud appearance, not your pretending to be humble and deliberately pleasing.
As a woman, at all times remember that life is not for compromise, days are not for the sake of giving, and the more humble you behave, the farther away you will be from you.
Therefore, at any time, women must remember that self-esteem and self-love and self-reliance are the cultivation of a woman's life, and with independent ability, she can have the confidence of not being dependent and not humble.