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It takes us a year or two to learn to speak, and it may take a lifetime to learn to shut up.
Don't think it's easy to shut up, it's also about your wisdom in running your life and dealing with relationships. What kind of words to say on what occasion, what kind of secrets to keep at what time, etc., all require you to have a ruler in your heart and make clear boundaries.
Especially after marriage, women should know how to deal with the relationship with their husbands with high emotional intelligence. Although you have formed your own small family at this time, this does not mean that you can have no reservations with him and do not distinguish between each other.
Regarding these things about the mother's family, if you can't say it, try not to say it, this is to leave a way back for yourself in the future, and it is also a rare high emotional intelligence.
One: the real economic conditions or deposits of the mother's family
If the mother's economic conditions are very good, then after talking to her husband, it will invisibly give him pressure, make him feel inferior, and in your marriage, you will also tie your hands and feet, suffer from gains and losses.
Some women are only children, at this time told their husbands about the superior economic conditions of their own family, in a moment of mistakes to make the wrong ghost to make God's errands, the husband will breed some extremely dangerous ideas, then regret it is too late.
Gold and silver are touching, and anyone has weaknesses. When you put temptation in front of your husband nakedly, you are actually testing human nature. And human nature is the most untestable.
If the mother's economic conditions are not good, after you and your husband have spoken, you will also put him in a dilemma. You want to support your mother's family, but you also have to live your own family's life, if you stand by, there is a suspicion of selfishness and cold-bloodedness.
It is better to simply not say anything, it is rare to be confused, and it is also happy to be at ease.
After all, money has always been sensitive, and you inadvertently show off and don't know what kind of waves can be generated in the hearts of others.
Two: The promise and guarantee of your mother's family to you
Raise a child who is one hundred years old and has ninety-nine worries.
Parents' concern for their children is a lifetime, not because they have any opinions or distrust of this son-in-law. However, unless the children themselves become parents, it is difficult to understand the feelings of their parents.
In the husband's view, these words spoken by the father-in-law and mother-in-law are distrust of him, and they feel that he cannot give you happiness, so he wants to give you this commitment to make you feel at ease.
After marriage, your life is no longer only your parents, but also your own family. You are no longer the little princess who did not understand the world before, and you must also learn to face the complicated chai rice oil and salt. Your parents are no longer the ones around you, only your husband is your closest comrade-in-arms.
In front of my husband, I often mention my parents' commitment to you, sometimes like a threat, always reminding my husband that this home is not so important, and I can go back to my parents.
No man likes his wife to go back to her mother's house at every turn, even if it is just talk, it is enough to wear away his love for you.
Your parents' commitment to you is the armor of love, but to your intimate husband, this armor is still in your heart.
Three: All the intimate affairs of the mother's family, try not to spread it
There is a saying: the ugliness of the family should not be publicized.
After getting married, no matter how good your relationship with your husband is, some undignified private matters about your mother's family should also be kept as tight as possible, so that one day in the future, your relationship with your husband will change, and he will use this as a handle to hurt you, so that your relationship with your mother's family will also be affected.
At any given time, women should learn to leave a trail for themselves, and there are some things that should not be said and not to be said. Controlling your mouth is not only a kind of cultivation, but also a rare wisdom of life.
After all, disasters come out of your mouth, and sometimes the more you are speechless, the more likely you are to get into trouble.
The closest husband may also be the one who hurts you the most afterwards. So in marriage, no matter how deeply women love, they still have to stay sober and leave some secrets for themselves.
To tell your husband all the secrets is to give him all the weaknesses. All you can rely on at this time is his love for you and his conscience.
Love is fickle, conscience is not so reliable, once the pillow man becomes a demon, how can you protect yourself? People can't say everything, they can't do everything, and they all have some secrets that don't have to be investigated, which is also a perfect balance.
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