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"Resurrection": "If you love a man, then love him as a whole, and love him realistically according to his original face, rather than divorced from reality and wanting him to be like this or that." ”
There are many ways to love, some people love a person and only love his good qualities; some people love a person and only love the part of him that complements himself; some people love a person and only love his money and property; and there is another that Is what Tolstoy said, love him as a whole.
The so-called "love the whole of him" is to love him all, and the bills for strengths and weaknesses are all collected.
On an intellectual level, it seems inappropriate to love someone's shortcomings; but on an emotional level, once the horn of love is blown, it cannot be managed so much.
Some people may think that such people do not know how to measure the pros and cons, and this is not always the case. Some people who seem to be crazy in love are crazy with reason as the premise, and their love may have long been beyond your comprehension.
The following woman's attitude towards love is like this, let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
When I decided to remarry my husband, everyone objected, telling me the truth that "good horses don't eat grass", saying that my in-laws were so bad to me that my remarriage was tantamount to jumping into the fire pit again.
I did not heed their advice and resolutely remarried my husband. Before telling you, I hadn't explained anything about our husband and wife to anyone, because no one else understood that the reason for our remarriage was known only to the two of us.
In short: if it is true love, divorced, can still come together.
Or rather, divorce is a test for us, making it clearer that we are true love.
We divorced because we couldn't conceive children after marriage. The mother-in-law was anxious to hold her grandson, and when she saw that we had not been able to conceive a child, she insisted that it was my problem, and she deliberately broke us up and wanted her son to remarry a daughter-in-law who could conceive a child.
I was already very irritable because I couldn't conceive a child, and she made such a fuss again, so angry that I quarreled with her several times.
This kind of problem is certainly not something that can be solved by quarrel, which will only spoil the problem and accelerate the arrival of tragedy.
When my mother-in-law saw that I could not conceive a child, she was so arrogant, and she was so angry that I rolled back to my mother's house, saying that their family did not welcome infertile daughters-in-law.
I did not want to show weakness and said to her: "No problem, first divorce, after the divorce will naturally come out, then if it is found out that your son has a problem, if your son marries someone else and still can't conceive a child, I see where your old face goes!" ”
She was so angry that she asked her son to divorce me; I swore to divorce her, and the marriage ended.
I thought my husband would obey my mother-in-law's orders and immediately remarry one. But he didn't do it, I don't know if he had a fight with his mother-in-law, I just knew that he had always treated me as if we were not divorced, even better for me than before, and often reported to me the news of "active cooperation with therapy" and asked me to wait for his good news.
I am actually in a similar state to him, after the divorce because there is no mother-in-law mixed, we can calmly deal with the problem, the feelings are more intimate.
One day we talked about this issue, and we invariably thought that the reason why we were closer was because we were afraid of losing each other, and this feeling of "fear of losing" prompted us to tie each other's hearts in the way of loving each other, so as to ensure that we did not love others.
It was after we established this that we decided to remarry. Because she didn't tell anyone the truth at first, the mother-in-law didn't know until we were pregnant with the child, and of course she had nothing to say.
There are many couples who have been particularly affectionate, and as a result, they divorced because of a little wind and rain, and after the divorce, they died and did not interact with each other, and as a result, the last two people regretted it. I think two people who really love each other should not be like this, why should they deceive themselves? Since you are still in love, you should work hard to repair the marriage, don't be duplicitous, blame each other in your mouth, and at the same time remember, why bother? You say yes?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Some couples divorce, it is really not a problem with each other's feelings, but the influence of external forces.
In this case, divorce does not actually mean that they do not love each other. The evidence of two people's true love for each other should not be demanding smooth sailing, but each other's hearts have always been linked, even if they are temporarily separated, they have the will to reconcile with each other.
In the case of the couple, the mother-in-law obstructed from it, and they had no choice but to divorce for the time being. This does not mean that they are not in love, but only that the two people may not have thought of how to deal with the difficulties of their mother-in-law at that time.
If women blame men "if you love me, you shouldn't let your mother-in-law bully me", and men blame women "if you love me, you shouldn't let me embarrass me", it is really a broken relationship, because neither of them thinks about each other.
It is understandable that you can't think about each other in a hurry; but if you still don't think about each other after calming down and only care about complaining, it can only mean that you are not true love, and you have not even loved each other.
Other couples can also refer to this idea to manage marriage, even if they did not love each other before, as long as it is still too late, they can also start from "thinking about each other", and the true love they personally manage is more meaningful.