1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to stir up the tricks

1, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, the result was to the door to forget to bring the key, I said wait for your husband to come back, ah, she said that it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to drum for a few seconds and then opened it, saying that it was 100 yuan. Female colleagues let me pay, I think it is expensive, not to mention that it is not my home, I said to the master 50 lines no, the master said that the market price is 100. I said that your 100 yuan was too easy to earn, and the master couldn't lock the door again, saying that he didn't want the door-to-door fee. My female colleague and I were dumbfounded, she offered to go to the hotel, I refused, I really just paid 50 bucks. So, remind everyone, go out with more money, the opportunity is only for those who are prepared.??

2, back to school, the distance is a little far, to take nearly ten hours by train. Halfway hungry, soaked a bucket of instant noodles, just about to eat, sitting opposite a big brother smiled and asked me: Sister, what do you taste? I was stunned for a moment, smiled and said: Spicy beef flavor. He listened, suddenly smiled and patted his instant noodle bucket, and proudly said: Let's do this, seafood! I listened to my heart for a while, and I said that I felt several grades higher than me... I said helplessly: Big brother, we are all eating instant noodles, can you not pretend!

3, some time ago, I applied for a company, I was left behind, in this morning, I was called to the office by the boss. The boss asked angrily: What do you mean by that? When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years of work experience and now we find out that it's a job for your brother. I nodded and said, "Your ads say you need to find someone imaginative!" boss:......

4, go to the movie with a friend, bought two tickets, but the movie is not good, and the ticket cannot be refunded. Halfway through, my friend was leaving, and I said, "Isn't it a waste of money to buy a ticket and not watch a movie?" My friend looked at me and said, "Since the ticket has been bought, the money has been spent and cannot be returned." I've already wasted my money, so why should I waste time watching this boring movie? "I... I think what he said makes a lot of sense!

5. The manager of our office resigned, and we held a farewell queue for him in the evening. The female colleague was drunk, and I drove her home. After entering the community, she said to me: "You can't go out without an access control card, and now that it's raining, you don't have to go back." I said, "I'm not afraid of the rain when I drive, so I wait at the door until five o'clock in the morning, am I afraid of not being able to touch a person coming out?" ”

6. Working as a teacher at Fudan University led to a female student getting pregnant before marriage. I was a responsible man, so I followed her home to meet her parents. When it was time to eat, I was afraid that the second meal would be awkward, so I pressed and pressed one of my own bowls with a rice spoon, and by the way, I also filled a bowl for my father-in-law. When I brought it to the table to prevent my brother-in-law from pouring me wine, the father-in-law saw that my bowl was not very full, so he took it and changed it with himself. But he can usually eat three bowls, and the bowl of rice broke a chopstick and did not finish eating..."

7. The company recently recruited a new female college student. She is 155 tall, petite and delicate, and has a baby face, and colleagues look at her cute and like to rub her little head. Today she finally couldn't help but erupt, slapping the table and yelling: Hmm, whoever touches my head again in the future, I will make him look good! Hey, I didn't believe it and touched her head again. Unexpectedly, she actually kissed me and said: You can be my boyfriend!

8. Last night, I found that there was no food in the refrigerator at home, so I went to the supermarket to buy. While in the snack area, a cute little girl picked up a snack and asked her mother, "Mom, can I eat this?" "Can't!" Picked up another one: "Isn't this also possible?" After asking four or five times, her mother finally got angry: "Didn't you just tell you that you can't eat sweet toothache recently, all walk around and you still come back?" The little girl said calmly: "I'll see if there are outsiders in you who can give me some face..."?

9, the rich son's English is not good, so that the English teacher has a headache, the teacher complained to a rich man, his son can not remember twenty-six letters. The rich man thought of a cruel move! Soon after, the English teacher called. The teacher said, "Your son has now memorized twenty-six letters backwards like a stream, what trick do you have?" Regal: "My son likes to play with computers, I set the boot password to eight letters, the game login password to ten letters, the QQ password to eight letters, and allowed him to boot up and play four times a day, each time for fifteen minutes." In order to log in smoothly, of course, he had to memorize the password, and naturally wrote down twenty-six letters! ”?

10. Working at the State Grid for five years, although the work is stable, I am a little tired, so I want to quit my job and start my own business. As a result, my wife knew about it and had a big fight with me, and directly returned to her mother's house in a rage. When my son saw his wife running out, he pulled me and said, "Dad, go after my mother?" I was angry when I heard it, and said: Adults talk children don't interject, don't go! My son listened and said, "Then I called my grandmother!" After saying that, I took my mobile phone and called my mother-in-law and said: Grandma, you are about to lock the door, and my mother is going to your house to rub rice again!

11, the students of the buddies have a crush on the lesbian table, the family is a cattle farm, the buddies often invite the female table to eat. One day the brothers bought snacks for the female table to eat, and the female table refused. Dude: Why don't you eat it? Lesbian Table: I know why you often invite me to eat. Dude thought to himself: How do you know? The lesbian table went on to say: In the future, if you want to eat beef, come to my house to find me, and I will send you two pounds.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #