The principal was accidentally hit by a Maserati car, losing more than $2 million. Then the principal resigned and went into business with $2 million. Then a new teacher came to our class,

The principal was accidentally hit by a Maserati car, losing more than $2 million. Then the principal resigned and went into business with $2 million. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked us to write a personal introduction. After seeing what we wrote, the teacher stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? That's integrity, isn't it? Student answered: Yes. Then the teacher said: Well, now please write down your self-introduction, you can break a big stone in your chest. Prepare students who step on the light bulb!!!

A local tycoon recently planned to get married, and he chose three candidates. Then, the rich man gave the three girls 1,000 yuan each and asked them to fill the room. A girl bought a lot of cotton and took up half of the room. The second girl bought many balloons that filled three-quarters of the room. The third girl bought many candles to light up the room. In the end, the rich chose the man with the best body.

3. We found a weight loss agency to lose weight and signed a contract. I played with my face as they asked. It's been 21 days gone. The owner refunded the contract money and compensated me 500 yuan. When I asked why, the landlady was wrong: what we lost was fat, and your face was too thick. There was nothing I could do. Please forgive me!

4. A 20-year-old handsome man drives Wuling Hongguang to buy lobsters. In front of a shrimp stall, he asked: How much is this shrimp? Landlady said: 12.5 kg! Young man: Too cheap. Give me 100 pounds! The boss looked up and said: Ok, a total of 1250 yuan! The young man was stunned for a moment, took out his mobile phone, opened the calculator, calculated for a long time, and found no error. He admired it in his heart! So I couldn't help but ask: Do you use cloud computing!

5. The rich man walks into the elevator and finds his female assistant chatting with his son! The female assistant said softly to her son, "My office is on the 24th floor. I take the elevator, you run the stairs. If you arrive first, I'll marry you. Is this bad? The rich man heard this and decisively pressed all the buttons from the first floor to the 24th floor. Then he said to his son, "Son, I can only help you here." Next, it's up to you! ”

6. Last year I had a child with my wife, which I can see from a young age. Today, my daughter-in-law is teasing her eight-month-old son. Unexpectedly, my son made a mark on her face, and I laughed happily: Are you free today? My wife looked at me and put on makeup in front of me. After a while, a slap appeared on her face and said: Look who is today... Half an hour later, my father and mother-in-law were driving together, and my wife immediately began to cry: his brother did not hit me once! What can I do? Throw away my armor!

7. After graduating from university, we were assigned to work in different cities. She took me to the train station that day. We ate at a western restaurant. After eating, I said, "Let's go." The train came into the station. "My girlfriend didn't speak. I comforted her and said, "It's okay, I'll see you later!" The girlfriend said, "Wait. Me: "Still can't stand me?" Girlfriend: "No, I haven't eaten enough yet." ”

Her girlfriend comes from a poor background and works at kTV every day after class. Later, she met a rich uncle and they got along very well. She threw those fluorescent shoes at me as a birthday present. A few days later, I found my aunt cleaning the hallway wearing the shoes I threw! The students came to me and asked if something was wrong with my aunt. I can't argue. As a result, rumors spread quickly... The whole school said that there was a person and his sweeping aunt, and even students from other majors came to see me in our dormitory. I've been wronged! #搞笑一刻 #