1, the brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, the daughter-in-law sold my Langyi, to help the brother-in-law pay back the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. Today

1, the brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, the daughter-in-law sold my Langyi, to help the brother-in-law pay back the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. When I was riding the subway today, I suddenly felt my mobile phone vibrating, and I answered it with headphones, and it was my wife who called. As soon as I connected my wife, I was asked why I rolled up the lower part of the toothpaste tube, causing her to not find toothpaste for half a day. After I listened, I said lightly: Good squeeze! A girl in front of me looked at me and said grumpily: No matter how you squeeze, you can't step on my feet...

2. When I was in college, there was a classmate with a special female man in the class, who usually treated us like a brother-in-law. After work today, we both went to drink bubble tea together, and the girl dressed as a lady and listened to me very gently while drinking milk tea. During this time, I forgot what I said, and she wanted to "hum" like a little girl. Did you know that a hum hummed out of the nose with a small black pearl mixed with snot? At that time, I was embarrassed, and I could only hold back if I wanted to laugh.

3. Recently, the familiar music can not be heard near the neighborhood, and the aunts do not dance square dance. I was very curious, so I went to the square to see what was going on. It turned out that a group of square dancing aunts were chasing a small fart. Curious, I asked, "Why don't you dance and chase him?" A big aunt said breathlessly, "I can't jump." For three days, I didn't know where such a child came from, wearing a red belly pocket, taking a small stick, and as soon as we jumped, he shouted: 'Children practice!' ”

4. In college, there are often people in the girls' dormitory who confess, but the routine is the same, that is, using a candle to pose a heart, and then shouting two voices to confess words! Once, when we played a game in our dormitory, we said who lost, so we simulated this confession scene. The losing roommate was introverted, and we helped him light a candle, but he didn't open his mouth for half a day. There are more and more girls watching upstairs, and many onlookers are cheering him up. As a result, the roommate held back for half a day, and finally looked up and shouted: "Sell candles!" Just 1 buck! 1 yuan, you can't buy a loss, you can't buy a deception! Recently, my wife and I planned to buy a BMW X7 in full, because there was still a difference of 500,000, and the old man was particularly atmospheric and lent it to us.

5. The brother-in-law was hit by a Maybach and became semi-paralyzed, and the cousin immediately divorced him. After a few days, my cousin had a new boyfriend, and I heard that she was a rich second generation. Last night, my cousin came to my house for dinner, and I asked her: How rich is your rich second generation? My cousin immediately wrote the word adoration on her eyes, and said happily: The first time we went on a date, he took me to eat egg scrambled noodles, and actually added three more eggs! I was shocked when I heard it, and sure enough, I was not ordinary rich!

6, did not wake up in the morning to go to work, snoozed in the car, rear-ended a BMW X7. There was a beautiful woman in the car, in a very good shape, and after she looked at me, she waved me away. I couldn't believe that she didn't claim compensation from me, I couldn't believe that there were such good people in this world! As I drove past the side of her car, I saw the car door that said: "Older leftover women, rear-end must be married!" ”

7, last night drank too much, is the good buddy to give me back home. I woke up in the morning confused and reached out to wipe something, but nothing was wiped. I searched the whole house, and there was no trace of my girlfriend, could it be that she was angry because I drank too much last night? She did not answer the call to her girlfriend, she did not reply to the message, and she had no choice but to ask her girlfriend if she knew where she was. After the connection, the girlfriend was stunned at first, and then said: Didn't you attend her wedding last night?

8, go to bed in the morning, get up at noon to go to the bank to withdraw money, I told the teller to take 100,000, the teller said that it could not be taken. I sighed and said, "Do you want to make an appointment again?" Believe it or not I brought up all the money in my card to change to a bank. "The teller said it was your freedom, and she took out all the balance in my card and asked me to sign it, and I looked at it carefully, 52 dollars. The teller sneered and said, "Sir, you also saw that you really can't take out 100,000!" I also sneered, casually took out another card, and handed it to the teller: "Take it all out!" The teller snorted coldly to take the card, and two minutes later, her face changed drastically, and she came out of the counter on leave, pulled me aside, and whispered, "Brother, you can't harm me... So much money to take away my performance this month is over, before I had a problem with my attitude, you like this... Add a WeChat and I'll make your girlfriend compensate you. Curious, I asked, "What about your boyfriend?" She said, "It's okay, let's throw money at it, 500,000 is enough!" I chuckled softly: "So, you go back to work first, wait until you have earned enough 500,000, smash your boyfriend, and come back to me!" ”

9, the station met a beautiful woman, long special eye-catching eyes, more look at a few more. As a result, she was discovered by the beautiful woman, and the girl was not happy: "What do you see me doing?" I laughed: "You look so good don't people see it?" Just after saying that, the girl gave me a slap. I was furious at once: "What are you beating me for?" Beauty smiled and said, "You look so underwhelming don't you let people beat you?" ”

10. Went to Sanya, Hainan province for honeymoon with my wife, and my wife asked me to take pictures for her. She took a look at her phone and angrily said, "Why do you shoot me in the face so big?" Me: "Didn't you say you were going to shoot a close-up?" Wife: "Then come to Zhang Yuan." After the shooting, the wife was even more angry, she said: "Let you shoot me and the beach, why do you shoot like I crouched on the beach and pulled SHI?" Me: "You're big and short, and I can't help it!" ”

11, last night my husband went out, and then was killed by a speeding Rolls-Royce Phantom, the owner is very responsible, said to take care of me for a lifetime. Soon we were married, and he took the initiative to tell me that he was the richest man in our city, and that he had a very happy life after marriage and did not have to go to work every day. Yesterday I went to the park to relax, and when I arrived at the lake, I saw a man with a straw in the water, and a girl standing next to him looked at him coldly. I asked curiously: What's wrong with this, so thirsty, do you want me to buy a bottle of water? The girl snorted coldly: Leave him alone, drink too much wine, you must say that you are the Dragon King of the East Sea, you must suck the water in the pond dry.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #