1, is sleeping with his girlfriend in his arms, suddenly received a call from the boss: Xiao Zhang, Xiao Zhang you don't have to go to work! I was suddenly taken aback, and wept bitterly and said: Boss, although I go to work to play games

1, is sleeping with his girlfriend in his arms, suddenly received a call from the boss: Xiao Zhang, Xiao Zhang you don't have to go to work! I was suddenly taken aback, and wept bitterly and said: Boss, although I go to work to play games, often doze off, occasionally late, take two days off a week, and talk back to you from time to time, but I always have to say that there is nothing wrong with me, you can't fire me! The boss's impatient voice came from the phone: Don't put garlic on Lao Tzu, tomorrow is the day of your and my daughter's big day, you won't forget, right?

2. The young man asked the Zen master, "I have a big dream, if it is realized, there will be no more strife in this world, so I need a lot of money, master, can you help me?" The Zen master took out a child's hat and a pair of children's gloves for the youth to put on, and then asked, "How do you feel?" "Hands, head a little tight." "Me too."

3. The mother-in-law was in a car accident and was hit by a Mercedes Benz and became a vegetative person. Yesterday I went up the mountain to burn incense for her, just in time for the pilgrim to follow the monk's chanting practice. I knelt down beside a beautiful woman and said to her, "Close your eyes when you chant the sutra, and only then will the Buddha bless you." Beauty smiled and nodded, "Okay, I see. "Then the monk began to chant, and I looked at the beautiful woman and left with her purse and mobile phone...

4. The sister-in-law goes to the fraternity party, and the host is introducing a handsome man with an aristocratic temperament. The host asked, "Where do you live after marriage?" Do you have a room? The man replied, "Live with grandma, dad, and stepmother." "By this time two-thirds of the women had their backs turned! Host: "Where is your dad?" The man replied, "My dad has no unit." At this time, only the sister-in-law was left alone and did not move! Host: "Is there a BMW?" The man replied, "Does the carriage count?" The sister-in-law immediately turned around after hearing this. Moderator concluded: "What is your profession?" The man replied in shame: "My profession is a prince..."

5. Today's son, who is in the second grade of primary school, happily entered the house and shouted at me: Dad, the teacher praised me today. I said: Really? How did the teacher boast? Son: The teacher praised my composition level to the level of the fourth grade! I silently went into the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, lit a cigarette, and the hand holding the text was trembling slightly. I couldn't understand it, I changed the composition eight times, and it was only the level of the fourth grade!

6, my husband picked up my son and came home from school, and when he opened the door, he saw me sitting on the couch and crying. Hurry up and care: what's wrong with the wife, this is... I quickly covered my stomach and said pitifully: My stomach hurts, it hurts... The husband looked distressed, and the son scornfully said: Dad, don't be deceived, the place where my mother's hand covers is not the stomach at all, maybe I don't want to cook at night...

7. The husband of the female supervisor suffered from a severe depression certificate, and took advantage of the fact that the female supervisor was not at home to drink medicine and sand, leaving an inheritance of 3.8 million yuan. I struggled for twenty years to be less and began to frantically pursue female supervisors. Some time ago, I planned to ask the female supervisor to dinner, and before eating, for the sake of face, I began to go to the restaurant to step on the point. I asked the owner of a restaurant, "Boss, do you have any lobsters here?" Boss: "Don't be funny, our little hotel, where is it?" "I was happy, that's it!" After taking the female supervisor, I immediately called out to the boss: "Boss, come to a plate of lobster, drunk!" The boss immediately replied cheerfully: "Good, 888 a plate!" I pulled the boss aside and whispered, "You liar, didn't you say there were no lobsters?" The boss smiled and said, "You come and ask if there are any lobsters, and when you leave, I will go to the fish market." ”

8. The parents-in-law are businessmen, and the family is particularly rich, resulting in the little nephew being a loser. He bought a Porsche 718 with his father-in-law's money and has not been married since he was 30 years old. I heard that he had gone on a blind date today, and I asked him, "How's it going, have you fallen in love with that woman?" The little nephew said: "People didn't look at me, and before they could talk a few words, they turned around and left!" I asked, "And women who don't worship gold, when you went on a blind date, you didn't open your open-top 718?" The little nephew replied, "It's open, but it's raining that day!" ”?

9, friends are 30 years old this year, have done illegal things before, but people are good! Some time ago, someone introduced him to a girl, friends and women liked each other, and the two sides met with parents. Who knows that the friend's mother does not agree, the reason is that the woman is tall, a face of horizontal flesh, afraid that she will be angry in the future. As a result, after the woman knew, she directly eloped with her friend!

10. A young man imitated the male protagonist of the Titanic, Xiao Li, and also left a beard. He had a big beard and thought he was beautiful. In order to make a girlfriend, he took the initiative to help a girl he did not know install a bicycle chain on the road. As he was leaving, the youth asked, "What is your impression of me?" The girl replied, "Very good, you are really not a simple person, so old that you still go to the street to do good things!" ”

11. The sophomore nephew came home depressed, and the brother-in-law asked, "What's the matter?" Who messed with you? The nephew said: "Dad, today a junior boy drove an Audi car and joked that my car was a broken car!" The brother-in-law said, "Son, isn't the Maybach I bought for you last year still very new?" The nephew said, "I don't, I want Audi, I want to buy!" The brother-in-law said helplessly, "Be well! "There is really no way, today I spent 100 yuan to buy an Audi toy car that my nephew likes." Alas, are the children in the sophomore class of the kindergarten now like this?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #