Maybe we have to admit that marriage has the nature of gambling, even if you are sure that you know each other very well, maybe you only know the other person when you are in love.
As there is an interesting description in The Meaning of Marriage:
"We never knew our spouses, we just thought we knew. Even if we find the right person in the first place, it won't be long before he or she changes. Because marriage is a big life event: as soon as we walk in, we are no longer the same person. ”
That being said, is happiness really due to luck?
All people who live happily must have the ability to control happiness. Do not cultivate your ability to control happiness, just hope for happiness, and never achieve your wishes.
Don't dismiss the happiness of others, just think it's a matter of luck, and finding the parts you need to learn and change is the direction you really should determine. If the nature of marriage is the same, why can others reap happiness and you can't?
Recently, I found that those happy marriages have these four things in common!
1, one knows how to endure, one knows how to let go.
What is marriage? That is, even if you find a good person, there are still times when you are angry and shivering. The content of marriage is very realistic, it is not at all sung, lyrical can be completed, always mixed with each other's will problems, there will be all kinds of conflicts.
Therefore, as long as two people know how to tolerate it, they can turn big things into small things, and there will be no overnight feuds, otherwise it can only lead to an infinite escalation of contradictions.
As Balzac said:
"Husband and wife should know each other and understand each other, and then tolerate and love each other, in order to maintain a happy marriage."
The so-called understanding, tolerance, and accommodation are more like the glorification of the word "tolerance". In fact, it is inevitable that everyone has a time to be emotional. Therefore, the personality of two husband and wife cannot be too strong, and it is best not to get married blindly.
2. Husband and wife have the values of common struggle.
On the surface, it should be that the husband and wife should first have the values of common struggle, and then they may become more and more single-minded, making the feelings better and better. In fact, there should be a special affirmation between husband and wife before it is possible to cultivate the values of common struggle and move towards the same goal.
Including no matter what they encounter, two people will not doubt and question each other, and find ways to bear and solve together, so family life will become more and more prosperous.
The so-called husband and wife are in the same heart, and their profits are broken.
You should also not underestimate the values of this common struggle between husband and wife, which fundamentally ensures the stability of the cooperative relationship. If the partner you are looking for just comes with an absolute attitude of enjoyment, or directly imposes your own ideals and pursuits on you, it will also put your own protection first.
The value of common struggle is a necessary determination, a special obsession, and the maintenance of married life is mainly dependent on these things in many cases.
3, can put the family interests in the first place.
Not only do you feel that this home is your own home, but you can also make your partner feel this way, so when both people put family interests first, it is not too difficult to calculate personal gains and losses, and it is difficult to think about unhappiness. For example, everything is discussed and measured, and they share a fate together.
At the same time, we can also make the required changes and efforts for the needs of the family, and everything is in line with the interests of the family.
Of course, in order to covet personal feelings, we will not sacrifice the interests of the family and firmly bind two people together. For example, everyone's income is always used for household expenses first.
So you see those couples who have to divide you and me in everything, and when they are divided, they will gradually drift apart, making each other more and more strange.
Even, two people will presuppose the possibility of true divorce countless times, and prepare for the arrival of real divorce, paving their own way out. In fact, this is also the meaning of husband and wife, each other is separated from the original family, and a small family belonging to two people is re-formed. All couples must know and be aware of this.
4. There is pity for each other.
When the passion fades, what is left of our marriage? Is it mourning and complaining, or is it the empathy and pushing of two independent souls? You have to believe that when the passion fades, the real married life really begins, relying on each other's conscience and moral support.
So he can pity your feelings, your hard work, your difficulty, this is the most important. Maybe icing on the cake is always good, but in real life, it's not enough.
A very true sentence:
"Some people think that the essence of love is romance, in fact, romance is just a wave in the ocean of love, pity is the cornerstone of supporting the love building, especially for couples after marriage, without mutual pity for each other, it is impossible to achieve hardships and hardships, wind and rain in the same boat." 」
For example, when he comes home from work and sees you working so hard, he will at least feel pain, and he can take the initiative to think about what to share for you and what he can help.
Marriage is a whole new way of life, so we should also step into it with the right attitude. Many people are always obsessed with what they want to do, but they are not doing what they should have done, and many times, when you can do everything you need to do, happiness and sweetness will naturally come.
Because of the pursuit of distant places, and forget to take the road of the present, this is the most confusing. Second, we should all have an inclusive heart for marriage.
We don't require a perfect married life, nor do we require our partners to be omnipotent gods, we are just ordinary people, and it is not easy to live the life of an ordinary person.
Never have any excessive expectations of your partner, but to magnify each other's beauty, which does not use two people to walk off the altar in each other's minds. When you can really recognize each other's true face, you may be able to help you grow old with white heads, real, real, and practical.
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