1. The little niece had to sleep with me at night, just drilled into the bed for less than two minutes the little niece said with a look of disgust: Aunt, don't you sweep the bed, what is in the bed, kill me

1. The little niece had to sleep with me at night, and just two minutes after she got into the bed, the little niece said with a look of disgust: Auntie, don't you sweep the bed, what is in the bed, kill me, I quickly opened the quilt. A smell of stinky farts greeted her, and the little niece laughed breathlessly: My mother said that I must have farted too much baked sweet potatoes today, let me sleep with you!

2. After school, my son came back in a huff. He said to me, "Mom, the teacher is unreasonable." I asked, "What's wrong?" He said: "There is a question that asks 910 students to cross the river only one boat, a trip can only take 3 people, how many times can it be carried?" I said 304 trips, and the teacher said 303 trips. When I thought about it, I thought the teacher was right and said, "Isn't that right?" The child asked me, "Mom, don't the boats come by?" ”

3. Just went to get a salary, a total of 4900, I said to the lady boss: I will give you a hundred, you give me 5000. The hostess nodded, but when the hostess gave me 5,000 yuan, I always felt that something was wrong!

4 Before, a male colleague in the office often came to work in a disheveled outfit. The manager felt that the male colleague was detrimental to the company's image, so he said to the male colleague: Before going to work in the future, let your daughter-in-law nail all the missing buttons of your jacket! But since then, I haven't seen any male colleagues in the office coming to work. Once, when I met in the mall, I asked my male colleague: Why don't you come to work? The male colleague said sadly: After you talked to me that day, I have been trying to find a wife, but I just can't find it! So the buttons of the blouse have not been nailed yet, how dare I go to work?

5 Today on the street suddenly stomach pain, see a public toilet in front of me rushed in to solve, after the end of the incident a few people blocked me, with a scary look at me do not go to the toilet? As for that? One of them said angrily, "Are you blind?" You didn't see that it was being renovated, so why did you let us go in and work? "Don't say it, I washed my hands ten times...

6 When I was a child, the living conditions at home were particularly poor, and my father always used a red cloth strip as a belt.

So, I secretly saved up pocket money, and after school, I went to pick up bottles and scrap iron... Finally saved enough money for my dad to buy a leather belt.

This belt is of particularly good quality, and if I make a mistake, my father will use this belt to smoke me.

The result was smoked for many years without breaking!

7 I heard that the university in Hangzhou is rich in beautiful women, so I gave up the opportunity to go abroad and went there to an ordinary book, but I didn't find a girlfriend after four years of college, but I met a strange roommate. He is usually reluctant to buy instant noodles, but he especially likes to eat the leftover instant noodle soup that I eat. He would dry every soup, drink it all, and burp it. He hadn't been back to his dorm that day, so I squeezed the dish soap in the remaining half bowl of instant noodle soup, intending to wash it. Unexpectedly, he suddenly came back, snatched a drink, burped a full meal, and bubbled up a string of bubbles...

8 The rich man's son is 6 years old and is in the first grade of elementary school at an aristocratic school. On the first day of school, the rich man drove the Rolls-Royce Phantom and sent him to the school gate. The son got out of the car and said tearfully, "Dad, you remember to give the principal some gifts and let me come out early!" The rich man couldn't help but laugh and said, "What a gift, little devil!" Then the rich man did not know whether his brain was pumping or what, and said: "Son, you must behave well, you can come out as soon as possible!" ”

9 My girlfriend is a preschool education major, and after graduation, she worked in a kindergarten in the city. On this day, a four-and-a-half-year-old girl in her class beat a little boy in the same class, and her nose was bleeding. In this case, the parents can only be called over quickly, the little girl's mother apologized in every way, but the little boy's father did not forgive. In the end, the little girl's mother couldn't bear it and beat the man up! It turns out that the female man is also hereditary...

10 This year, Uncle Dabo made hundreds of thousands of dollars by selling masks. Then successfully lifted a Porsche 911. I also had to invite the boss to sheraton for dinner. In the end, the two people drank too much, and the uncle directly beat the boss. Afterwards, the boss's son came to the door, and the cousin lost both gifts and money, and the matter was settled. Then, the cousin complained to the uncle. The uncle was impatient: "Little bunny cub, you fight, which time didn't I come forward to give you peace??" The cousin looked aggrieved: "I used to be beaten, but they lost money to you!" ”

11 Find help from a female colleague who has a good relationship today: I am ready to confess to a girl, can you accompany me to rehearse it first. The female colleague waved her hand and said: With our relationship, I am sure that this is busy. So I held the rose in my left hand and the ring in my right hand, and said affectionately to my female colleague: I have liked you for a long time, and you are willing to marry me.

After the female colleague listened, her eyes were moist, and she held out her ring finger and said to me: I do. Then I took the ring to her finger and watched the female colleague move. I thought to myself: This confession will be successful. So I asked my female colleague to take off the ring and return it to me. I didn't expect the female colleague to say: I have already agreed to your marriage proposal, do you still want to go back? I said: Didn't you say that you were going to accompany me to the drill? The female colleague said: The ring has now been brought to my hand, and it is useless for you to regret it. Emma, how I feel like this lady is fooled

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