1. After years, I gradually understand that those who can be forgotten are irrelevant to life and do not want to recall or reproduce. Those who were once proud were squeezed by time and slowly lost

1. After years, I gradually understand that those who can be forgotten are irrelevant to life and do not want to recall or reproduce. Those who were once proud, squeezed by time, slowly lost their original color, forgotten on the drifting road, did not want to pick up, did not want to reminisce. Life, there is always a give-up, there is gain, there is also a loss, but, in the road, we squander a lot of precious time, miss the beauty, miss the heartbeat of the scenery, tired of life.

2. When the military training was about to end, a colonel commander came to inspect and praised the goodness of our company's military posture, especially the best of our standing. The company commander hastily explained: This is all punished, and the best who stands in a military posture is the most mischievous. Then he pointed at me and said: This classmate's name is Lao Jiu, and he is almost punished for the rest of the time every day except for training, sleeping, and eating!

3, two days ago back to my hometown to participate in the classmate's son wedding, but I always feel that the atmosphere is not quite right, can not see the old classmates of the two smiling faces, both are my old classmates, is our classmates the earliest married, his son is also cattle, graduate school graduates. During the chat, a classmate told me that his son got married because he could not beat his daughter-in-law.

4, two days ago back to my hometown to participate in the classmate's son's wedding, but I always feel that the atmosphere is not quite right, can not see the old classmates of the two smiling faces, both are my old classmates, is the earliest marriage among our classmates, his son is also cattle, graduate school graduates. During the chat, a classmate told me that his son was married because he could not beat his daughter-in-law.

5, I hugged my girlfriend tightly and said: "Three months, you have conducted various tests for me, can we ..." She slowly released my hand and said calmly: "Today is the final test, you wait, I will wash my face first..."

6, lunch time is coming, I want to invite my girlfriend out to have a meal. She looked at me warily and said, "You don't have any thoughts about me." I cried and laughed and said, I have a wife, my best girlfriend, how can I have any ideas about you? Didn't I see that you were in a bad mood and wanted to invite you out for a meal to make you feel better. I didn't expect her to complain to herself and said, in fact, it is normal for you to have ideas about me, you men are not good things, your wife has said, the world is as black as a crow. I thought to myself that this terrier would not be able to pass.

7. Goku: "Master, the smoke in front of you is like a fairyland, I'm afraid I'm going to the Western Heaven Great Lei Yin Temple, right?" Tang Monk: "Goku, that's downtown!" Such a wonderland, no wonder it is the city with the highest happiness index in the country! Or you stay! Goku: "Master, I'm going to the Western Heavens!" Tang Monk: "Disciples don't know, staying here is the fastest way to go to the Western Heavens."

8. When I was watching One Piece at home, my girlfriend on the side told me. If you can remove your makeup within 6 minutes, I will send you a big red envelope. As soon as I heard that there was a red envelope, I used the fastest speed in my life to remove the makeup. When I just wanted to find my girlfriend to get a red envelope, my girlfriend took out her mobile phone and took a few photos of me. I looked for a few more photos of my past and sent a circle of friends. This beautiful woman has successfully found a boyfriend since using my family's cosmetics. You can compare the difference between before and after makeup.

9. After finishing my postdoctoral studies at Tsinghua University, I came to a company and was directly appreciated by my boss, which made me the manager of the personnel department. The boss was very good to me in the first few days, but yesterday the company lost the latest sample, worth more than 2 million, and the boss directly deducted my salary bonus for more than two months. I was puzzled, angry, went to the boss theory, and the boss just threw a piece of paper in my face!!!! I picked up the paper and looked at it, this is not my recruitment advertisement two days ago: because the warehouse is more remote, things are more expensive, now the company urgently recruited two warehouse security guards, you can go to work, contact. I......

10. Recently, Fa Xiao made a fortune outside, so he returned to his hometown to buy a single-family villa. A good house must be equipped with good decoration. So I went to the building materials market and found that the best wallpaper was quoted at 3,000 yuan / square meter. I carefully calculated, and then jokingly suggested that you might as well just paste the wall with 20 yuan of paper money, less than two thousand yuan per square meter, and save more than a thousand yuan, which looks domineering. Fa Xiao waved his hand and said: I am now poor and only have money left.

11, go shopping with your girlfriend, a beggar comes over to beg, my girlfriend pulls me away, the beggar has been following, the girlfriend is unhappy to reprimand: go away, we have no change. I said to her: Beggars are also dignified, you don't want to do that. Then I turned back to the beggar and said, "We really don't have any change, you haven't eaten yet, have you?" I just bought two buns, do you want it? The beggar took the bun and ate it. Looking at the way he gulped down the bun, I breathed a sigh of relief and said: Five dollars for a bun, you should have enough money in your bowl.

12, yesterday the credit card reminded me: "XXX (directly called its name), you now owe XXXXX, please repay as soon as possible...". Just now I repaid the money through Alipay, and the text message immediately became: "Dear user...". A second to become the rhythm of the uncle ah.

13, Mercedes-Benz women in Nanjing with a horn to scold the scumbag, a brief introduction: the man of Nanjing, 16 years has been married, cheating Mercedes-Benz women to say single, but also let Mercedes-Benz women pregnant, it is said that there are about 20 women victimized, which makes the honest single dog how to live ah?

14, that day is the annual college entrance examination, after the morning exam, Xiaoming said that the exam is very bad. The student asked, "Why is the exam so bad this time?" Xiaoming said: "The tall man sitting in front of me is too tall, too far left and right, and I have a sprained neck and can't see behind." ”