1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you rush."

1, I drove the BMW x5 home, the home is slightly hidden, my wife is taking a bath in the bathroom. At this time, the wife held out a head and said: "Husband, you are back, there is no shower gel, you hurry downstairs to help me buy it, cold me." "Before I took off my shoes, I ran downstairs to a good and many supermarkets, bought a bottle of 58 yuan Shufujia, and took a package of 28 yuan soft Chinese by the way." Cashier: "A total of 86 yuan." Me: "You do the math again." Cashier: "It's 86, that's right." Me: "If you do the math carefully, it's not good to wait until you're wrong." Cashier: "Sir, really 86." "Then I gave the cash register 100 and she found me 86!

2. Recently, I found that my buddy who got along well in high school actually went to college in the city where I worked. This guy has been studying for six years, and he still hasn't graduated from college, so I'm confused! On this day, he wanted to go out for a walk, so he asked me to take a class for me, and I just had a break and nothing to do, so he went. I brought with me a fully charged battery and a few novels to prepare for Mei Zizi's memories of college life. As a result, I waited all morning for the teacher not to come...

3. On this day, the invisible rich second generation riding a bicycle went to his girlfriend's house to play. Before leaving, it suddenly began to pour down, and his girlfriend advised him to stay overnight and went to prepare the futon. When his girlfriend was ready to walk out of the bedroom, Fu Er Dai was gone. After more than an hour, fuerdai, whose whole body was drenched like a chicken in soup, returned. The girlfriend asked in surprise, "Where have you been?" Fu Er Dai replied breathlessly, "I went home to get my pajamas." ”

4, if your other half, when you are not happy, do not coax you, when you are happy to provoke you to be angry, you must not argue with him in person, this is very hurt feelings. You can wait until late at night, when your husband falls asleep, and give him a big mouth. Then he will suddenly wake up, looking at you confused and frightened. At this time, you must gently pat your husband to coax your husband: "Have nightmares again honey? Don't be afraid, I'm here, shoot you to sleep. "Remember to squeeze to death!

5, I have been single for twenty-seven years, and this weekend I am suddenly going to flash marriage! Go to his wedding, and the ceremonial celebrant says, "Please tell the groom about your wedding speech!" The girlfriend paused for a moment, looked at the bride affectionately and said: "Thank you WeChat, thank you Momo and everyone, thank you for shaking!" I silently continued: "Don't forget to thank the people nearby when you get divorced!" ”

6. The little uncle who graduated from Nanjing Normal University is married today, and at night he is in a cave room, and he asks the couple to talk about how they met and got married. The younger sister said shyly, "The two of us are free to love." At this time, the little uncle quickly added: "Yes, we are free love, I gave all my savings for 10 years to your mother, so that you can get free." ”

7, in the evening I called my sister, I said that your nephew now tastes more and more peculiar, just suddenly told me that I want to eat shrimp feet. I said what's so delicious about shrimp feet? Can't I buy shrimp for you to eat? Instead of sprinkling and rolling to eat shrimp feet, I had to buy a few pounds of prawns and let him go on his own. My sister listened to my words, and after half a day, she carefully asked me: Do you think he will want to eat shrimp dumplings, dumpling dumplings?

8. After the money was snatched away by my girlfriend, I have been wondering how to get the money back without crying or making trouble... Usually do not let you drink milk powder before going to bed, last night noisy to drink, I saw the time is ripe, said, baby, you want to drink powder can also, a spoon a piece, you want to drink a few spoons of ah? The girl said, five spoons! I said, well, I'll go make you powder, and you'll give me five! By the time I finished rushing and taking it, people had already counted five, Mom, give you money! That's it, my money managed to come back this evening!

9, I really didn't see that my boyfriend was a scumbag, and my cousin came to comfort me on the day we broke up. My cousin asked thoughtfully, "Why doesn't he want you?" "I kept crying:" he said he couldn't spoil the customs they had there. The cousin was puzzled: "What custom made him make such a decision?" Me: "He said that when they got married there, the groom's officer was going to wrap the bride into the house, and he tried it yesterday, and he couldn't wrap me up." ”

10. The mother-in-law went to a private hospital to see a doctor and was misdiagnosed. After his death, his father-in-law fought a lawsuit for a long time and finally got 3.6 million yuan in compensation. Then my father-in-law bought us a suite for the tenant. After moving in, every night I went for a run by the artificial lake in the community. Later, many fat people ran with me, and after a long time, I became the captain and ran with everyone with music. At first, I didn't understand why my husband went around making rumors that I was thin from a fat man because I insisted on running every day! Later, he asked me to run every day, and I had to set his fried skewer shop as the end point before I understood the truth.

11. There is only one female colleague in our department, and we often tease her, and as a result, we are often teased by her. That day, a female colleague came over and said: Last night I dreamed that you drove a colorful cloud to see me. I blushed: Huh? Female colleague: You still stick your tongue at me. Me: Haha, am I so naughty? Female colleague: Well, at that time, you were crouching at the feet of The Erlang God.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #