For women, the most pragmatic concept of marriage and love is to find a good man to live, but the real phenomenon is that some women, although they are affectionate, always encounter scumbags.
Why is it always you who meets scumbags? In the case of women encountering scumbags, sometimes it is really not simply a "probability problem", but a "trait problem" I firmly despise the "victim guilt theory", but according to the review and analysis of countless cases, it is a fact that cannot be faced.
Too much of an emotional value, falling into a 'feeling' relationship
Women care too much about feelings in the emotional relationship, feel that the other party cares about themselves, feel that the other party loves themselves, and use their own cognitive standards to confirm the extent to which men love themselves, but ignore the true facts.
This type of woman is most likely to be deceived by scumbags, because she will be completely swayed by the illusion of 'love experience', and the romance, tenderness and security that this man can give are not purely such people, but give women the way they want to feel.
Therefore, in the relationship, the most real relationship is not happiness, but stumbling has a lot of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, if it is a purposeful scumbag, it will completely take your emotions as the core to maintain the relationship, after all, for the scumbag, moving his mouth, providing some emotional value, you can easily get what you want.
"Value swaps" are never considered when establishing mate selection criteria
It can be said that the root of any relationship and the long-term maintenance between people lies in the exchange of values, and if the problem of value exchange is not considered in the emotional relationship, it is doomed to be the root of their own price.
Do not want anything, only love him as a person, or covet the wealth and status of the other party to try to change the fate of marriage, do not have the conditions for mutual matching, the other party still chooses, there must be a purpose behind the existence, all increase the risk of encountering scumbags.
Academic qualifications, appearance, work personality, and all aspects of family situation are all issues of value consideration, and the criteria for choosing a mate are not clear, so women are naturally easy to continue to be invaded by scumbags on the road of feelings.
Influenced by pristine families
When a person has many problems on the road of life, first of all, it is aware that this is inseparable from our original family, and many times we always want to escape the misfortune of the original ecological family, the unfortunate state of the parents' marriage, but in the end we are likely to become their copy and repeat their tragedy.
In other words, a girl who grew up in an incompetent, or "bad" father's family, is most likely to repeat the misfortunes of the original family.
Susan, the author of the book "Original Family", said: A child's love for his parents is beyond imagination, and if a person does not undergo great changes, he will basically follow the imprint of his parents' lives unconditionally.
If we want to escape the fate of encountering scumbags, first of all, we need to face our past lives, find the source of pain, face and release the emotions of love and hate entanglement with the feelings of our relatives, and let our lives be completely separated from the original family, so that we can grow up, re-open our new life, and meet our own happiness.
Less experience in love
China is a traditional country, since ancient times to define the standard of good girls with boudoir, whether it is their natural shyness, or family reasons caused by too little contact with the opposite sex, so that not only do not have any love experience, can even say that do not know how to get along with the opposite sex, such girls will become narrow or unrealistic in their hearts for love standards.
Romance drama or virtual illusion of the lover image is likely to be the love they pursue, but in the end, what they really find, must be the scumbag wearing the cloak of "good man", due to the lack of experience and lack of discernment, it is easy to be played by the scumbag and fall into the trap of "love".
The scumbag, which seems to be a moth-like reality carrier, actually stems from the girl's needs and expectations for her feelings, and sometimes changes her own essential cognition and thinking, so as to avoid misfortune from falling on herself.