A little girl in her twenties came to cherish the marriage and proposed to the red lady teacher some of the following conditions for marriage:
After reading the above mate selection criteria, the Red Lady Teacher's eyes turned white, and the idea of resigning was clearly extinguished in his mind... Oh no, it's the fighting spirit of the work again.
You may ask, how good are the conditions and confidence of this girl, in order to raise such high requirements and such hard indicators? Is it the youngest and most beautiful of the Seven Fairies?
However, we don't care what the little girl's own conditions are, and we don't care whether these requirements she put forward are really ridiculously high. There is nothing wrong with the higher requirements for choosing a mate, and if you can't find it, you can rely on your own skills. And the work of the red lady teacher is to help everyone find high-quality objects.
What we want to talk about today is that these 9 mate selection requirements are actually very unscientific, illogical, and not very operable.
By following these hard criteria to find someone, you really can delay yourself.
Why? Let's analyze it
As a woman, if you have an ordinary family, average economic ability, and a high probability of not being able to be a career-oriented strong woman in the future, then you should list the other party's economic ability as an important criterion when choosing a mate.
Compared with "being able to maintain a certain material quality of life after marriage", the mate selection standard of height 180 is simply irrelevant.
Once heard of such a test:
A marriage agency held a marriage event in a house, and a woman went in and found two doors: one door with handsome writing on it, and one door with ordinary writing on it.
The woman opened the handsome door and found that there were two doors behind it: high income VS ordinary income, and women opened high income doors...
It kept going down, and finally the woman's open door was the exit of the house, and the sign at the door read:
People who want everything will only get nothing.
If you really want to choose a mate, you have to face reality.
The so-called "reality", one is your own conditions, and the other is whether there are so many high-quality men in the market for you to choose.
Sit down calmly, write down all of your "mate selection criteria", and then sort them out according to "importance" (what you want most and what you need most).
In the end, only the first three items are retained... Up to three items.
You go to find objects according to these three items, and those who can basically meet these three items are suitable.
For example, "the best state-owned enterprise, annual income of 500,000 +, at least the management of well-known companies", "the house should be large flat, it must be downtown", "the car is 400,000+, non-domestic"...
These few strips add up, to put it bluntly, it is just two words: money.
Not well-known company management, but can a startup boss? There is no big flat in the city center, but is it okay to live in a villa?
As long as the other party has enough sustainable earning power, you will still care whether he has a car or what brand of car?
In addition to economic ability, so are physical conditions.
You ask him to be 1.85 meters tall, but what if people are only 1.7 meters tall, but look exactly like Xiao Zhan or Li Xian? Do you want to?
Do you suddenly feel that "if it were them, it wouldn't matter if they were a little shorter than me"?
Therefore, the mate selection criteria cannot be mentioned in this way.
People are looking at the whole, and the rules and regulations you set up are too many hard indicators, which will only isolate most of the potentially developable objects.
As long as one metric doesn't meet, you don't have a chance to see the other conditions on the other person that greatly exceed your expectations.
The hard indicator of "height 180+" alone may have isolated more than 90% of men;
If you multiply the percentage of each hard indicator, I am afraid that if the conditions are completely met, there will be no one on the earth.
What is "humor"? Many straight men, who open their mouths to tell cold jokes, also feel that they are particularly humorous, really talented.
What is "filial piety to parents"? Most people feel that they are filial piety, but everyone's standards are different, Ma Bao Nan feels that he is the first filial piety in the universe, then Ma Bao Man do you want it?
What makes one "knowledgeable"? Most men feel that they are too knowledgeable, and when they meet women they like, they can't help but show off when they open their mouths, so that they can be teachers, but will you appreciate such a man? Do you think he's really knowledgeable?
Therefore, this kind of mate selection standard belongs to the "unquantifiable" mate selection criteria.
This type of standard is almost all subjective cognition, and the judgment standard varies from person to person, and can only be slowly understood in subsequent interactions, and there is really no need to list them at the beginning.
Setting such so-called "standards" from the beginning will only be tiresome.
What is the Fool option? For example, "listen to her everything" and "give her all the money for safekeeping".
This kind of mate selection standard actually involves the issue of the right to speak after marriage. Whether or not you have the right to speak after marriage is based on strength.
Whoever has more strength and better conditions will have more right to speak, and the other party will be more willing to listen to you.
In other words, whether a man is willing to listen to you after marriage, whether he is willing to give the money to you for safekeeping, is not dependent on the man, but on yourself.
If your monthly salary is only three thousand and you have almost no financial ability, why should he give you the money for safekeeping?
If you are a financial elite and a master of investment and financial management, why doesn't he give the money to you for safekeeping?
Sometimes, before asking yourself "Can you do this?", it makes more sense to ask yourself "Do I have the ability to make the other person do this?"
It's important to weigh yourself before making demands on others.
Don't hold the idea that "people who really love me won't care about my average condition."
Holding this kind of thinking proves that your mind is not mature, you do not understand human nature, and you are not suitable for marriage at all.
If a man were to say to you now, a woman who really loves me wouldn't care if I don't have a car, no house, no taste, and not enough handsome... What do you think?
It is important to have "self-knowledge".
Moreover, the partner value you can provide must also be the kind of partner value that the other person wants and needs, not the conditions that you think you are excellent.
For example, you now earn 100,000 yuan a month, have a fang age of 35, and have a general appearance and temperament, and you feel that with your economic ability, you should match a man of the same level as Liu Moudong. ...... But will Liu Moudong care about your monthly salary?
If the other person wants an apple more, you don't want to take a box of pears to sell.
In the marriage market, it does not count if you think that you have good conditions, but if the other party thinks that you have good conditions and rare your good conditions, then it will work.
I hope that everyone can choose a mate scientifically, avoid detours, and get what they want!