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When you are young, you feel that marriage is beautiful, the motivation for marriage is only "love", after experiencing too many things, you will know that marriage is not only beautiful, there is reality, the reason for marriage is not only because of love, sometimes there may be no love, worldly things have a greater impact.
How to judge whether a marriage is good or not?
Small families are warm, large families are harmonious, and children can grow up in a warm environment, which is beautiful.
Two people before marriage has a very good relationship, get along very happily, after marriage, trivial things have become the main theme of marriage, family conflicts, and finally had to separate, such a marriage is not beautiful.
Rural girls marry into the city, and after 5 years of marriage, the conflict breaks out
Juanzi comes from the countryside, the family conditions are not good, her parents rely on farming to survive, there is no pension, she is still an only child.
Juanzi looks like a Peugeot, looks pure and beautiful, and has stars in her eyes.
Her husband fell in love with her at first sight, and the so-called love at first sight is her appearance.
Juanzi has no feeling for her husband, she is a peaceful person, rational, clear-headed, from the very beginning she was aware of the gap between the two families, but she also has expectations for her marriage, under the fierce pursuit of her husband, Juanzi agreed.
After a year of dating, the man urged him to get married, and the two people naturally got married.
In the first few years of marriage, it was still happy, and the mother-in-law was very kind to her and regarded her as her own, but the mother-in-law had a little practice that made her dissatisfied, and she always reminded Juanzi in words, "You are the Xu family, and you have no relationship with your mother-in-law." She didn't say it directly, but her expression always betrayed her contempt for her relatives.
Juanzi felt that "although I am married, the affection between me and my parents is still there, and the parenting grace of my parents has not yet been repaid." ”
Although Juanzi was unhappy in her heart, but her face did not show it, she still insisted on her own principles, she pitied her parents in life, and took out 2,000 yuan from her salary every month to her parents, in line with the principle of everyone living in harmony, she did not want to make trouble with her mother-in-law.
As a daughter-in-law, she can also be regarded as a person who can do things, and her mother-in-law is good to her, and she often buys clothes and supplements for her mother-in-law.
However, in the fifth year of marriage, the great contradiction finally broke out.
The mother-in-law is dissatisfied with the daughter-in-law's monthly payment of 2,000 yuan to the family, making a big fuss
Married for five years, the child is more than 4 years old, the whole family is still peaceful and beautiful, basically no contradictions.
When Juanzi's mother was chatting with outsiders, she inadvertently talked about the girl's filial piety, mentioning that her daughter gave herself 2,000 yuan every month, which was spread by some people who liked to talk about the shortness of parents.
When the mother-in-law showed off her daughter-in-law's filial piety to others, the outsider said: "The daughter is close to her mother, she is filial to you, will she give you 2,000 yuan per month?" Don't give it, people can give their mother 2,000 yuan a month. ”
Juanzi's mother-in-law was angry when she heard it, and she did not get angry in front of outsiders, but only responded with a few embarrassing sounds.
When she got home, she was furious, she was not good at losing her temper directly with Juanzi, running to lose her temper with her son, at first the son did not say anything, but said that the old man's mother-in-law's living conditions were not good, and she could help.
The mother-in-law was difficult to get angry, and she made a fuss at every turn, and her attitude towards Juanzi underwent a big change.
There are conflicts between husband and wife, because this little thing goes to the step of divorce
The son can't stand his mother's always making trouble, so he complains that Juanzi is not thoughtful, why should he give his mother 2,000 yuan.
The mother-in-law was noisy, Juanzi was unhappy, and she had to endure, but she made up her mind, no matter how she made a fuss, this money must be given.
But her husband began to blame her, making her angry.
"I am not a member of your Xu family, I married into your family, don't think you are good to me, my son's surname is Xu, give you a family heirloom, I didn't spend much money on you, I have my own job!"
Your family has a lot of money, when you got married, I didn't see you give more bride price, my parents didn't want a bride price, what do you want! ”
The more he said it, the more angry he became, and the things that were usually inappropriate were also said, and Juanzi's husband was also angry, thinking that Juanzi was disgusted that he had not given the bride price in the first place, and the more quarrelsome the two people became.
On that day, Juanzi took the child back to her mother's house, and the more she thought about it, the more angry she became, thinking that she had married the right person, so it seemed that the man was still facing his mother.
Later, because of this incident, it came to the step of divorce.
Juanzi competed for custody of the child, because considering the child's young age, the mother also had a formal job, graduated from college, and had the ability to raise, and finally the child was sentenced to Juanzi's side.
It was originally a trivial matter, why did it make such a fuss
It seems that things are not big, but in fact, the contradictions are very deep.
Juanzi initially made such a decision, on the one hand, she felt that her parents' life was bitter, on the other hand, she felt that her in-laws had a pension and did not lack this money, but she ignored a point, and her in-laws never regarded her parents as their own.
The mother-in-law is good to Juanzi, provided that Juanzi is a member of the Xu family, juanzi also has to think of herself as a member of the Xu family, and Juanzi's behavior shows that she is to her own mother.
The mother-in-law will think that she has plucked out her heart and lungs, or she will not be able to catch up with her mother.
But the mother is the mother, and the nurturing feelings of more than ten years are not over.
The gap between the rich and the poor of the two families is relatively large, and it is not easy for the two sides to stand on a horizontal line, in the eyes of the in-laws, Juanzi should be unconditionally grateful, and they have given Juanzi a good life.
When they find that Juanzi is not grateful, they will feel that Juanzi is not satisfied, does not understand gratitude, and even lacks humanity.
A good little family, just because of this gap, finally parted ways.
Looking at it individually, there is nothing wrong with either side, it's just that the door is not right.
To remind young people, marriage is really not just a matter of two people, because a person can not completely jump out of their original family and the original relationship network after marriage, marriage is a matter of two families, if two people are strong enough, you can ignore this matter, if not strong enough, or think about it.