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Vanity Fair: "In a lifetime, there are always some fragments that look insignificant at the time, but in fact affect the big picture." ”
When the dust has settled on an event and there is an end, looking back, you can often find something you once overlooked. At the time, it felt insignificant, but in fact it affected the overall situation.
We can't wait until the ending appears every time to do this work, we must learn to treat every detail of the relevant details carefully before doing something, so as not to miss a good ending because of carelessness.
You should also have such an attitude towards marriage, don't passively open a marriage, and don't break the can and think that it is the same with whomever you are married, otherwise these seemingly insignificant decisions at the time may create misfortune.
The following woman learned from a blind date, talking about the above kind of problem, let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I would like to talk to you about the issue of "blind date", I think some people's attitude towards blind date is extremely unreasonable, and there are many minefields to pay attention to in the blind date process.
Take a blind date I experienced before, first the matchmaker bragged that the man was particularly good, and then his parents bragged about how good he was, claiming that he earned millions a year and paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
My parents have soft ears, are easy to trust people, and when they hear such a good thing, they would like to marry me to him.
On the day of the blind date, the matchmaker brought him and his parents to my house, and when we were alone, I asked him: "Is it true that your mother said that you earn millions a year?" What job do you do to make so much money? ”
He looked honest and spoke softly, but instead of looking up at me, he lowered his head and answered my question: "Nothing, just open an online store to sell things." ”
To be honest, at that time, I also had some preconceived notions in my heart, plus he seemed so honest, he should not have lied to me.
I just don't understand, why a million-dollar person has never been married?
I blurted out the question as I thought about it, and his answer was: "I was thinking about making money before, but I didn't think about it so much." Now my mom is starting to get married, so..."
I didn't say I understood before he could finish, because I was also the one who was urged to marry.
Because I couldn't find anything wrong, I responded to the request of both parents, the two people got along and tried, if there was no problem, I would do the wedding early.
His parents were very anxious to let him get married, they let the matchmaker urge my parents, and my parents turned their heads to urge me, eager for me to marry him immediately.
Fortunately, I did not give in, otherwise I would have found out the truth after marriage, and even if I divorced him, I would regret it.
The truth is: he did make some money in the previous years, but in recent years he has not made money and has been eating the old money. In order to continue to keep his business, he even lost his old money and owed money.
I asked him why he lied to me and why he didn't tell me the truth on the day of the blind date, and he bowed his head and said nothing.
I decided to quit the marriage, although the parents of both sides only verbally engaged us, but I think it is better to make the matter of resignation clear.
If he had told me the truth from the start, whether I continued with him or not, I wouldn't have resented it. But he lied to me and I couldn't take it. When I think of his parents' overly glorified words, I can't help but get angry.
To my surprise, his parents didn't know the truth. When I asked to leave the marriage, his mother even asked me: "My son earns millions a year, where is he not worthy of you?" Why did you get married? You won't regret it if you don't marry! ”
I didn't want to cover up for him, because that would make me lose money, so I had to tell the truth: "I am marrying someone, not helping the poor!" Stop bragging to me that your son is making millions a year, you really don't know much about him, he has long since stopped making money. If I marry him, instead of being as blessed as you say, I will have to pay off my debts with him. You didn't tell me the truth, do you think I should quit the marriage? ”
I ruined the image of her son in her mind with just a few words, and I felt a little cruel to her. But I couldn't help it, I had to make it clear to get myself free.
I think it is better to be honest about blind dates, and it is okay to beautify your own children appropriately, but it is not advisable to over-beautify, otherwise once you prove that you are exaggerated, it is easy to be punched in the face.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
In the eyes of her parents and the man's parents, since both children have no opinion, they should eliminate all the red tape and complete the marriage immediately. If she passively accepts this arrangement, believing that all preparations are irrelevant, then her hasty decision will create her misfortune.
Fortunately, she did not give in easily, and this kind of one-minded difference also seemed insignificant, but it avoided an unhappy marriage.
This is the "seemingly insignificant fragment, the implication of the whole picture" mentioned earlier, mainly referring to selection and decision.
At some point in your life, the people you choose to believe, the things you choose to believe, and the decisions you make as a result, all have a direct impact on the big picture. This requires testing your choices and decisions about whether they are right or wrong: if they are right, there will be a good ending; conversely, the ending will not be good.
I hope that others will pay attention to this kind of problem when dealing with love and marriage, and can take seriously the choices and decisions they make. Don't make random choices, don't make random decisions, don't casually love others, don't casually accept a person's love, you need to add a solid footnote to your love and marriage, and you need to have evidence that your choice is not wrong, so as to avoid bad endings.