Emotions are a testament to being born unique, everyone has different emotions, but everyone's story is the same, hello! Hello, I am Lele, pay attention to my words, into your heart!
01
Yishu once said:
"Marriage has nothing to do with love, people always think that after love matures, they will naturally get married, but they don't know that marriage is just a way of life." Everyone can get married, it's simple. Love...... It's another story entirely. ”
Regarding marriage, almost everyone has a very beautiful vision of love at the age of the beginning of love, believing that its basis should be love. If you marry someone you don't love at all, it's unacceptable.
However, after experiencing some people and things, many people gradually lose their expectations for marriage. And only use it as a way of life to escape the world, end singleness, and marry for the sake of getting married.
In this case, whether the marriage can be happy or not depends almost entirely on it
"Gamble".
The bet is right, when you meet a marriage partner with good character and responsibility, even if there is no vigorous love, you can smoothly live this life.
If you gamble wrong, meet a selfish person who constantly consumes each other, marriage becomes a bad thing.
Lin Qian (pseudonym) is very unfortunate to have such a husband.
02
Lin Qian and her husband met on a blind date.
Because both parties were older when they first met, the family was also anxious. There is still some about this relationship
Lin Qian, who was "not sure", hurriedly entered the marriage with her husband who had not been in a relationship for a long time under the persuasion of her family and friends that "feelings can be slowly cultivated".
Two people who are not very familiar suddenly live together, and friction and estrangement are inevitable.
But since she was married, Lin Qian thought that she must live a good life.
Therefore, no matter how busy she is at work, Lin Qian always works very hard to play the role of a wife, not only has a lot of patience with some bad problems of her husband, but also keeps the family and outside the home in an orderly manner. If there is a special anniversary, she will also use her heart to show a sense of ceremony and create romance.
Taking care of chai rice oil and salt while not forgetting the wind and snow moon, she really did a very good job.
But what makes Lin Qian cold is that no matter how much effort she makes to enhance the feelings between husband and wife, her husband always has a sense of estrangement from her.
Her enthusiasm never went unanswered.
With the passage of time, the relationship between the couple slowly becomes lukewarm. Saying that it is a husband and wife is actually more like living together
"Normal roommate" relationship.
Lin Qian was a little disappointed in such a marriage, but tried to comfort herself: Who doesn't have ash at the bottom of the pot?
The days are still tepid.
Until three years ago, Lin Qian's mother had a disease and needed a lot of money to treat. As the only daughter of the family, Lin Qian naturally has to bear all the expenses of her mother.
Just when Lin Qian was running around looking for someone to borrow money for medical expenses, her husband did not stand up and face difficulties with her, but took the opportunity to propose to Lin Qian
A
In the future, their respective mothers will be responsible for each other.
The reason why he will make such a proposal is mainly because the mother-in-law is usually relatively tough, even if there is a little problem, she is reluctant to spend money to see.
He was afraid that he would be implicated and financially taken advantage of by Lin Qian, so he remembered such a play.
It is enough to say that the husband is usually indifferent, but at this critical moment, there is no friendship between suffering and sharing. Are such couples still called husband and wife?
The more Lin Qian thought about it, the more she felt cold, but she could only smile bitterly and agree.
The two years of her mother's treatment were the most difficult times in Lin Qian's half life.
She went to work during the day, took advantage of the noon break and rushed to take care of her mother, and after work at night, she not only had to teach painting part-time, but also came back to clean up the hygiene of the small family, and endured all kinds of cold words from her husband.
Fortunately, all efforts have not been in vain, after two years of treatment and careful care, the mother's condition has recovered almost completely, life can take care of herself, and there is no need to continue to take medicine. Without the large expenditure of medical expenses, Lin Qian can finally breathe a sigh of relief for a while.
However, in order to pay off the money of her relatives as soon as possible, Lin Qian quickly threw herself into her work again, and her income improved even more.
In addition to the increasingly indifferent relationship with her husband, life is slowly developing in a good direction.
It should be said that people really cannot do things without virtue in this life. Otherwise, retribution will come particularly quickly.
Last year, near the Spring Festival, my mother-in-law suddenly fainted. Although not a major problem, the doctor asked for hospitalization for observation.
The husband is working and in the hospital, and a person can't take care of it at all, and he only cares for two days and then complains bitterly. At this time, Lin Qian was taking her mother on a sightseeing trip in a nearby city, and the circle of friends was updated happily.
The more the husband thought about it, the more angry he became, and dialed Lin Qian's phone:
“
My mother is in the hospital no one to take care of, you take your mother on a tour, is it appropriate
？
”
Each one manages each mother
, that's your set.
Lin Qian replied coldly.
After the two of you argued for a while, the husband was a little angry:
"Have you ever been such a daughter-in-law?" I'll give you two options now. Or, get back right away to take care of my mom. Or, don't come back. ”
Lin Qian recalled that after so many years of marriage with her husband, where was there a bit of a normal couple?? Especially after the husband proposed to manage each mother, they even went back to each house to find each mother during the Spring Festival. Other people's family reunions are happy, and they are eager for each other to disappear quickly.
Thinking of this, Lin Qian finally made up her mind to end the marriage.
03
I have to say that the husband and wife have become like Lin Qian and his wife, and there is no human touch at all, which is really quite boring.
Fortunately, Lin Qian finally decided to divorce and chose not to be consumed by such a marriage. And through her story, it also tells us the following two truths:
One: If you haven't talked about two years of love, there will often be many problems after marriage.
Someone once said,
When a woman marries once, she is actually married three times.
The first marriage is to marry the person you love; the second marriage is to marry his lifestyle; the third marriage is to marry his family.
If you want a marriage to be relatively stable and happy, love is the first factor, and then you have to understand his personality, his lifestyle, and his parents and family's view of family and marriage.
And these are by no means clear and clear overnight short-term togetherness. Those who have not talked about two years of love, there will often be more problems after marriage.
Because when people are just on top of love, or in order to achieve the purpose of marriage, it is easiest to disguise their emotions. Only when the passion dissipates will his true state be gradually exposed.
As there is a saying on the Internet:
Middle-aged couples rely on conscience, marriage has just begun when the passion fades, and the essence of marriage is companionship and responsibility
。
Mature love, on the other hand, depends on conscience, and the second half of life depends on responsibility
！
Women, in the end, still have to live with each other's character.
Therefore, having a general understanding of the man's character and family before marriage is the most secure way to enter marriage.
Two: between husband and wife
AA
System is often the product of injustice.
Although today's society,
The system has become a very common way of social payment, and it is also a relatively fair representative.
But personally, always think
The system is not adapted to the married life on the mainland.
In people's traditional conception, marriage should be regardless of each other, mine is yours, yours is mine. Pass
The way of "sharing" slowly penetrates into each other's lives and becomes an inseparable couple.
If the husband and wife have made it clear before marriage
And in real life can be specific problem analysis, when one party encounters difficulties, the other party can still provoke the responsibility of being a husband and a wife, face difficulties together, and use flexibly
There is nothing wrong with such a life.
The most shameless thing is that some selfish men, under the guise of fairness and justice, use it as a means of evading responsibility.
For example, usually when the interests of both husband and wife are balanced, or when he is profitable, he is impossible to propose
system.
And once his interests are threatened, such as his wife is pregnant and has no income, he needs to rely on him to support him. Or, like Lin Qian, when there is a large amount of economic expenditure, they will not hesitate to propose it
system.
As everyone knows, this time is being
It is not only material and money that is dropped, but also the feelings between husband and wife.
And once people's hearts are cold, it is difficult to cover up the heat anymore.
Therefore, men and women in marriage must not easily overdraft each other's emotions. Sometimes it seems that you have won, but often the one who loses the most in the end is you.
Marriage is not easy, and it is done and cherished.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~