"The Marriage of the Two of Us" said: "Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are originally a by-product of marriage, and two people only have interests, not direct relations. ”
The way mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along is nothing more than the exchange of energy, resources and spirit. If the two sides can be satisfied with each other and balance each other, then the relationship will naturally be smooth.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been very sensitive since ancient times, and two people who are not related by blood are not trusting each other and becoming friends, but they have to force peaceful coexistence under the same roof, which is itself a very test of the cultivation of two people.
When Fang Hui married her husband Zhang Yang, her parents were opposed, because Zhang Yang's family had a large population, with one sister and one sister. In a family with a complex population, there are naturally many things, while Fang Hui is relatively simple, and her parents are afraid that she will not be able to handle complex interpersonal relationships.
However, the relationship between Fang Hui and Zhang Yang is good, and the old two see that Zhang Yang is also practical, and they can't help Fang Hui's soft and hard bubbles, or agree to this marriage.
After marriage, life is still relatively smooth, Fang Hui's parents think of the big sister, little sister to mix the situation has not happened, the other party's family is still more measured.
But after all, it comes from two different families, and the inconsistency of the ideas and habits of both sides is inevitable.
Fang Hui gave birth to a daughter, and the in-laws did not abandon it, and also took the initiative to come and take care of it. In this way, Fang Hui was really relieved, and his heart was warm.
But on the 13th day of confinement, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a difference of opinion.
The child of an old classmate of the mother-in-law got married, and the mother-in-law wanted to go to the wedding. But the location is a bit far away, in the adjacent county, it takes a whole day to come and go.
The mother-in-law did not stop Fang Hui, but the mother-in-law asked her father-in-law and Fang Hui's husband Zhang Yang to go together. The reason is that at that time, his son's wedding family was also attended by the whole family to show his attention.
But this is the problem, then you need to throw down The Hui alone at home. And What Fang Hui meant was that the in-laws could go, at least leave Zhang Yang to themselves, make a move, and be in a hurry.
But in the end, the family still drove away in a hurry in the morning, leaving Fang Hui alone.
Originally, although this matter made Fang Hui feel uncomfortable, it actually had its own reason. There was an accident and when I came back, I crashed my car on the highway.
Although the three people were not in serious trouble, when they heard the news, it also made Fang Hui sweat coldly. Throughout the month, I was also terrified.
Coupled with the inconsistencies in the thinking of the two generations, frequent differences in the care of children, of course, each generation has its own values, can not discuss who is right and who is wrong, but the vague disharmony between the two people, left behind.
But even so, there has been no head-on conflict between Fang Hui and her mother-in-law in the 5 or 6 years. But in fact, both parties know that their relationship cannot be intimate.
Fang Hui tried to communicate, but her mother-in-law refused to communicate and still went her own way. The mother-in-law also thinks openly, and often hangs such a sentence on her lips:
"I have a son and two daughters, I don't need outsiders for the elderly, I don't have much power in this life, and I have a little filial piety to my children."
There are unpredictable storms in the sky, and people have bad luck and bad luck. When people are old, their bodies are always not so tough, and their mother-in-law, who has always looked strong, has fallen ill.
Fang Hui and Zhang Yang were the closest, and they rushed to the hospital first. The sister-in-law who married to the province called to ask about the situation and said that if the situation was serious and everyone was too busy to come, they would rush over.
The eldest sister-in-law then rushed to the hospital, but stayed less than an hour, and then rushed to pick up the child. I was supposed to come back at night, but the situation at my sister's house was really difficult.
The brother-in-law is a long-distance freight transporter, perennially absent from home, the eldest sister in addition to picking up the children every day, their own part-time work to subsidize the family, but also to the semi-paralyzed father-in-law in bed to make three meals a day.
Zhang Yang wanted to stay with the bed, but his mother-in-law disliked him as a man and was inconvenient, or refused. Therefore, the father-in-law did the nucleic acid alone and left the escort.
Two days before the hospitalization, the mother-in-law's tone was still the same as before, and by the morning of the fifth day, the father-in-law could not hold on.
The mother-in-law began to be polite and soft-spoken with Fang Hui, which made Fang Hui a little flattered. You must know that usually the mother-in-law's attitude towards Fang Hui is not to say that she is on top, but also on the shelf of the elders.
Although Fang Hui's mother-in-law was not hospitalized for a long time this time, it changed the mode of getting along and the pattern of life that the Fang Hui family has been living with. The two in-laws respected and were more and more respectful and polite to each other. In fact, Fang Hui didn't want much, equality was good.
There is a saying in the "Yan Family Training": "If the father is not kind, the son is not filial, the brother is not friendly, the brother is not respectful, and if the husband is not righteous, the woman is not obedient." ”
It is even more so when used in the way of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Many elderly people want their daughter-in-law to retire, but they themselves take it for granted and take it for granted, which is not advisable.
After all, there is no law that the daughter-in-law has the responsibility of supporting the elderly and filial piety before the bed. And if you want to get the careful care of your daughter-in-law, you rely on the feelings that are established little by little in the family.
Elderly people with many children should not be partial, partial or blindly counting on a certain child. You know, things in this world are changing rapidly, or it is better to leave yourself a way back.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]