When the mother-in-law said, "I won't bring you children, but when I'm old you have to give me a pension." How to go back as a daughter-in-law?
Because my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were not in harmony, my parents were the first to propose a separation, so my grandparents always had opinions about my parents, and they were not very good to me and my brother.
Our siblings never got a day's worth of care from my grandparents, but my grandparents brought up my cousins.
Therefore, my mother has a lot of opinions about this, except for the Spring Festival festival, almost no contact with grandparents.
However, during the New Year's Festival, my mother still asked me and my brother to bring fruit gifts to visit my grandparents, and after we worked, we also told us to wrap a red envelope for my grandparents during the New Year's Festival.
Their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is not good, do not communicate, but my mother will never instill any grandparents bad thoughts in us, she feels that the grudge between the two generations should not involve the third generation, after all, they are my grandparents, the blood is cut continuously.
So my brother and cousins, cousins, cousins, uncles and aunts are very close.
But unfortunately, my uncle was not very filial after he started a family, and his own life was very poor, and my uncle was very difficult because his cousin had a car accident. The two aunts, who are married far away, will only come back during the New Year's Festival.
Grandpa got drunk and had a stroke and was paralyzed, and Grandma came to my house, put the bill on my desk and left, which meant asking for money.
My mom took the medical slip on her back foot and gave it back to my grandma.
At that time, Grandma asked her three sons, each of whom took turns to take care of the escort. My uncle's family is all daughters-in-law, but my mother refuses, she only symbolically gave red envelopes, went to the hospital to visit once, accompanied by my father.
Because of this incident, my father was very angry, he felt that my mother was very unfilial and did not give him face.
Many years after this incident, about five or six years after my grandfather's death, my parents had a quarrel and brought it up. My dad is still angry.
It's not that I'm partial to my mom, or that I hate my grandparents.
Although we are a big family, we still have to be reasonable.
At that time, my father said, your grandfather is that, your mother still took the bill back, and refused to take care of it for a day.
I said, if you take the list back and refuse to take care of it, then you must be wrong. But my mother took the list back and didn't take care of it, how could it be excessive? That's nothing wrong with that.
My dad said, how can it be right to be a child? This is a great filial piety.
I said, you're right, it's wrong to do this as a child. But my mother is not a child of my grandparents, but a daughter-in-law. She is related to her grandparents because she is married to you.
She married you, did not eat the food of my grandparents, the house was built with the help of my grandparents and uncles, the children were brought up with the help of my grandparents, and my grandparents often bullied my mother when they were young, saying bad things about my mother everywhere, all kinds of eccentricities.
My mother had never taken a penny of benefits from my grandparents before, my grandparents were so arrogant to my mother when they were young, why should I ask my mother to pay for filial piety to them when she was old?
My grandparents are no matter how bad you are, you are your own son, the first 20 years of parenting grace is yours, you have to report it yourself, you pay you to take care of you to do filial piety. But you can't ask my mother to honor them, it doesn't make sense.
My father said, then if we are old and your brother's daughter-in-law does the same to us, don't you care?
That's a beautiful question.
My answer is that you are old, and no matter what, my brother and I will honor you and will never ignore you. This is what my brother and I should and must do.
But how your daughter-in-law honors you depends on how you treat her.
If you are good to her, if she dares not to be filial to you when she is old, don't say that I and my brother do not agree, how do people around her think of her?
If you don't like her, it doesn't matter, don't force your brother to bring her back during the New Year's Holidays. Don't live together, my brother and I will serve you when you are old.
If you were not good to her when you were young, picked her up, hated her in all kinds, and treated her harshly, then when you are old, don't blame her for not filial piety. She has this right, and you can count on your own biological children.
Why does the mother-in-law say "I don't bring you children, but when you are old, you still have to give us a pension" There is nothing wrong with this, the children are born by yourself, and the law does not stipulate that grandparents must bring grandchildren.
You haven't heard that nursery rhyme that sings "Only Grandparents are Good in the World," or that song that tells you, "Listen to Your Grandparents, don't let him get hurt."
We are always taught to be filial to our parents, how many people teach you to honor your grandparents?
As for how the daughter-in-law responds, you can't tear up with the old man and the old lady, that's what a woman with low emotional intelligence does, and it's very stupid to directly confront the in-laws, because you are real in your identity.
Where in the world are there so many mother-in-law contradictions? Or is it because the person you're dealing with is wrong? To solve problems, it is necessary not only to be able to speak, but also to know who to say those words to.
The right thing to do, you should wait for your husband to come home in the evening, repeat the words of your mother-in-law to him, and then tell him that you are a son, and you repay the grace of parenting in the first 20 years, and you go to do filial piety. But don't ask me to filial piety to them, it doesn't make sense.
The rest depends on how your husband handles it. Don't fight the old lady.
Because the root cause of all the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a man's problem.
Many women do not handle the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well because they often abandon men to talk about problems, can this fall into any benefit?
No matter how virtuous you are, you can't stand the mother-in-law who is forced to do things. No matter how kind and kind the mother-in-law is, she cannot serve the daughter-in-law who provokes the thorn.
People who are not related by blood will think more about it when they say a word.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not how the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law can do a good job, but the real test is the ability of the man sandwiched in the middle.
If you say that it is useless for a foolish man to say anything, and no matter how reasonable you are, he feels that you should put his parents first, then you have to reflect on why you married such a man.