01
To get married, you always have to figure out the other person's thing, either to figure people, or to figure money, or to figure out color, if not, marriage is just a burden for you, purely just a burden.
This is not a reality, but the basis for mobilizing your enthusiasm and action.
Marriage is originally a relationship of interests, which will involve the problem of matching interests, and the unequal matching of interests is the main cause of the contradiction between husband and wife, and even determines the breakdown of marriage. How else would you get a divorce? In this life, people are inseparable from a "profit" word, just as the so-called world is bustling for profit; the world is bustling for profit.
Therefore, the fundamental reasons for the divorce of husband and wife are essentially around three points:
1, in the current stage of life in the main needs are not met, or this marriage can not bring you anything, and then become tired, before you began to casually marry.
2, what you give me is not what I want, what I need, by the accumulation of emotions, grievances, complaints, and in the end, it either breaks out or collapses.
3, there are too many things to want to map, which is the result of not managing their own desires.
In terms of nature, if everything has gains and losses, there are crying and laughing, there are happiness and defects, the part that people endure must be less than the part that makes people enjoy, and only then will they mobilize their willingness to insist on subjective consciousness and the reasons that are worth insisting on. There is no distinction in detail, only judgment in the sense of autonomy.
Young people should view marriage in the most practical way, take into account each other's needs, and ensure the stability of the core cornerstone of marriage.
At the same time, we must also pay attention to, or to be strict with ourselves, not to be greedy, to figure out the same thing as the other party, but only to figure the same, to figure out what they want, there can be no other requirements, otherwise first want money and love and then want people, and require a person to be both romantic and dedicated, but also to take care of the family, in this world, there is no such person.
Even if there is such a person, he must not look down on you, so don't be greedy, and don't bring the ideal into reality.
02
Knowing a man, the wife has always been that kind of natural attitude, think that you married me, this life must be my person, and then wash and cook for me, this is normal and should be. Because the wife bears all the labor parts of the family, he naturally becomes a vested interest in enjoying married life strongly.
Whether it is the family, children, parents, never let him worry about it, including his wife, almost never care, share or understand.
If there is something to do with him, it is always busy, but if a friend has something to ask him for help, it is called a fast, and the brotherly righteousness and brotherly feelings are the most missed.
In the past, the wife could also be patient with the two children, as long as he took the money from the family, until one day, he did not want to take the money from the family anymore, hoping that the wife could not only take the family children over, but also be financially independent.
Often with his wife to calculate the details, where does the money go? Why is there no money again? At the end, he simply replied to his wife: "You don't have any money, and neither do I." ”
Later, the wife filed for divorce and took a firm attitude.
They are all divorced, but he still does not reflect on his own problems, and when he sees people, he asks: How could she divorce me?
Later, this was his own sister, who said a sentence to him:
"I can't count on anything, and I can't rely on everything, so why does the woman have to follow you?" If you don't want anything, if you can't figure anything out of you, who have you ever lived with? Who can't you live with? ”
It can be said that it is a word to wake up the dreamer, you always have to let the other party figure out the same thing as you, there is a reason to live with you, nothing can be done about you, there is no harvest of benefits, only the assumption of responsibility, only the burden of life, who is not mean, has to be with you, otherwise you will not survive.
Even if it is a robot, it has to be refueled and maintained regularly, so you must consider that your partner is a person, a person with needs, feelings and emotions.
You can give her special love, you can occupy a unique position in her spiritual world, and the rest of your life will recognize you and follow you with a dead heart.
You can give her a lot of money to satisfy her laziness and giant baby, and when she needs to be attached to you in life, it is naturally inseparable from you.
You can give her a comfortable, determined and warm life, let her body have a place to go, her soul has a destination, the same, she will not be able to do without you.
I'm afraid you can't give anything, and you will only make demands, as well as all kinds of pickiness, so why do you still follow you, it is a completely unreasonable thing. Even if you only draw a big pie, she is willing to eat the big pie you painted, no matter how much you pay, she will feel worth it, and she is willing to live with you.
03
In this world, there is never a single thing that is unprovoked, has a reason, and has a law. Therefore, interests are the core cornerstone of marriage, the foundation is not solid, the ground is shaking, but this interest does not necessarily refer to materials, but also includes the acquisition of emotions.
Emotions, emotions, psychology, physiology, and material things must always get the same thing, and only after the quarrel, in front of real life, there will be a reason for "I am still willing to live with you" again and again.
All good marriages have always been that couples can constantly attract each other and constantly need each other, so as to gradually cultivate a firm sense of security and belonging.
You need me, I need you, and the more you need each other, the more inseparable you are from each other.
Many people are selfish, will only put their own needs and interests first, never consider their partners, as long as they get what they need and want. However, marriage is never a one-sided fulfillment, which will only exacerbate the breakdown of marriage, enjoy the benefits at the same time, but also protect the interests of the other party.
Love can't be given, money can't be given, including when we encounter such a situation ourselves, we will say to that person: "You are really idle." ”
Really put the interests of husband and wife in the first place, always consider each other's actual needs, when the marriage needs to rely on patience to continue, it must not last long.
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