01
However, in these crowds, there is a little girl who is cramped and uneasy, and has been pinching her fingers in the corner, which seems out of place. It turned out that she had come to apply for divorce with her parents, and she sat alone in the corner, always hanging her head, very low, which made people look distressed.
When the child accompanies the parents, it must be that the parents and the children have communicated, and the children also understand what they are facing, it may be a broken family, or it may be a parent who has a strong smile.
02
Parents want their children to have a happy life, and they give their children enough love, money and resources.
But often ignore the child's greatest needs - the love between parents, high-quality husband and wife relationship can establish a sense of security for children, so that children learn to love and be loved.
Families with unhappy marriages are bound to not be able to give children a sense of security, although the key period for the establishment of children's sense of security is before the age of 3, at different stages of growth, the source of children's sense of security will change, but the sense of security given to children by parents is always the most core.
Children who grow up insecure will always have the following characteristics:
The loving husband and wife relationship will make the whole family warm, harmonious and orderly, and the child's sensitive heart will perceive the family atmosphere far beyond the imagination of adults.
Parents quarrel, children will perceive the bad emotions of their parents, sadness, anger, anxiety, and stagnant feelings will make children feel insecure.
The famous host Yang Lan said in "Happiness to Answer": "Happiness does not fall from the sky, but grows from one's own heart." ”
And dad loves mom, mom loves mom, mom loves dad, mom and dad love kids, is the best template for a happy family.
There will not be so many negative emotions in a loving family, because home is a place to talk about love, and children who grow up in such an atmosphere will have a full sense of security and know what happiness is, because his original family is the best example.
03
If divorce has become an established reality, parents have the right to decide how to live their lives, and of course have the responsibility to bear the consequences of their own decisions.
As a parent, there are also things to do to minimize the harm and pain caused to the child by the conflict and breakup between the two.
Try to be honest with your child
Please be as honest as possible about your child's thoughts and emotions.
It's normal when parents disagree, and no two people can agree on everything. You can honestly tell your child how you feel after arguing with the other party, but never belittle the other party in front of your child.
No matter what happens,
Neither parents' love for their children will change
If both parents maintain communication with the child in the process of conflict and quarrel, although the child's heart is uncomfortable, he will feel that the parents know how to deal with their own problems, they will reduce the problems they have, and they will also reduce their doubts about themselves, "Is it because my parents quarreled?" ”
If the parents' emotional relationship continues to deteriorate until it reaches the point where they need to be separated or divorced, with the above-mentioned parent-child relationship, the child's psychological distress can be maintained without worsening.
When separation and divorce are a foregone conclusion, parents are able to build a closer relationship with their children and support each other. He can still continue to grow.
Meeting and spending time with children after divorce
One of the issues raised by separation or divorce is which party has custody of the children and the other party has the right to visit the children. Many failed marriage relationships end with hatred and revenge, often using children as tools to hurt each other.
For couples who have been separated or divorced, it is best to maintain a mindset of: "I should do something to reduce the harm I bring to the child." My child wants to see mom and dad as much as possible, and I should try to fulfill his wish as much as possible. ”
Parents are no longer husband and wife, but they are still the parents of their children.
Regular parent-child time, let the child enjoy the warm love from the parents.
The best love for a child is companionship and unconditional love, in whatever way.
Single parenthood is not original sin, lack of love is.
The survival of marriage is the business of adults themselves, and do not let it be good or bad to affect innocent children.
Accompanying children's physical and mental health and happy growth with love is the responsibility and obligation of each of our parents, whether together or separated, can not change yo!
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Some of the materials in this article are synthesized from milk tea mother, sunshine home school, etc.
Edit: Daifuku
Proofreader: Joe Belle
Review: Fisherman's Student