Recently, the Ministry of Civil Affairs announced the news of the decline in the divorce rate in the mainland, which aroused the attention of netizens.
According to the latest marriage survey data in 2021, as of the end of June, the number of divorce registrations nationwide was 966,000, compared with 1.865 million in 2020 and 2.038 million in 2019, the number of divorces this year fell by 50%.
The civil affairs department stressed that this is the role played by the cooling-off period for divorce.
In fact, no matter what the reason is, the decline in the divorce rate is a good phenomenon, which shows from the side that people pay more attention to marriage.
After all, marriage is all about marriage happiness.
A famous person once said: "Happy families are all similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes." ”
A happy marriage generally requires 3 conditions.
1. A happy marriage is inseparable from money
Sanmao once said: "Love, if it is not implemented in the real life of dressing, eating, counting money, and sleeping, it is not easy to last forever." ”
Indeed it is.
Once love enters the stage of marriage, the two are chai rice oil and salt to live a life, and life is naturally inseparable from money.
The so-called poor couple Pepsi laments, and even the best feelings will be scattered because of lack of money.
My classmate Xiaomei got divorced some time ago. When they learned of her divorce, many classmates felt sorry for her.
Xiaomei and her husband began to fall in love when they were in high school, and for love, Xiaomei gave up the 211 university that could have been attended, and chose to study with her husband in an ordinary second college.
Later, her parents learned that her husband's family was in poor financial conditions and opposed their association. But Xiaomei said that people can be good to her, and she doesn't care about the rest.
Her parents couldn't do anything about her, and they got married after college.
With the arrival of the child, the two have constant contradictions, Xiaomei because there is no breast milk, the child's milk powder money is a big expense. Coupled with the fact that there is still a mortgage to be repaid, the two people often quarrel over money.
Xiaomei began to complain that her husband earned less and did not have enough money to spend, and also complained that her husband's parents could not help anything, but instead expected the couple to take money to them.
The feelings became more and more noisy, and eventually they could not go on.
Johnson once said: "A man who marries only for money is incomparably evil, and a man who marries only for love is incomparably stupid." ”
If you want to have a happy marriage, you must talk about money and plan for money in your married life. If you blindly enter the marriage, resulting in many economic problems erupting one by one after marriage, the trivialities of life will wear out the love little by little.
Love is the foundation of marriage, and money is the guarantee of marriage.
Married life without an economic basis is like a wooden house full of straw, and a little Spark can destroy everything.
A happy marriage must be inseparable from talking about money.
Image source: Panorama Vision
2. A happy marriage is inseparable from tolerance
I saw a news item on the Internet that a young couple divorced because they couldn't stand the way each other squeezed toothpaste.
A staff member at a local divorce registry office told reporters: "Husbands who squeeze toothpaste like to start from the end, while wives like to squeeze from the middle part." ”
They said that the other party and their own three views are not in harmony, not the same person.
Divorcing because of such a small difference sounds like a joke. The reason for this is nothing more than the inability to tolerate each other.
If you want to get married for a long time, you can't do without the tolerance of two people.
Because of tolerance, there is understanding; because of understanding, there is harmony.
In this regard, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Dai are role models.
Qian Zhongshu is a notoriously poisonous tongue, and he has no scruples in evaluating others and shows no mercy at all.
But he never criticized his wife, and every time he went out with friends, he praised his wife, and his friends laughed at his "wife-honoring habits".
In terms of life, Qian Zhongshu was born into a rich family, had servants to take care of since childhood, and his life after marriage was very "clumsy".
When Yang Dai was pregnant, Qian Zhongshu was at home alone. He is not good at housework, and he is busy at home. Every time he visited Yang Dai in the hospital, he would say, "I did something bad."
He knocked over the ink bottle and dyed the landlord's tablecloth. Yang Dai did not accuse him but comforted him: "It doesn't matter, I will wash." ”
Then, he broke the lamp again, and Yang Dai told him, "It doesn't matter, I will fix it." ”
No matter what "wrong things" he did, Yang Dai did not complain or accuse, but thought that this was his own cuteness.
Zhang Hong said: "Marriage is not 1 + 1 = 2, but 0.5 + 0.5 = 1, that is, two people cut off their own personalities and shortcomings, and then make up together." ”
Love is inclusion, not transformation, and don't try to transform the other person into the way we are in our hearts.
A happy marriage needs to tolerate each other's small shortcomings and amplify each other's strengths.
Don't be a bad evaluator for the other party, so that the marriage can last long.
3. A happy marriage is inseparable from a sense of responsibility
Many marriage failures are actually due to the lack of responsibility and responsibility of the partner.
For example, those who do not understand the heart, after marriage, still live like singles; those who do not keep loyalty and engage in extramarital affairs; those who do not know how to share, widowed marriages...
Such a marriage, if you want to be long-lasting, is almost impossible.
Marriage is a kind of responsibility, but also a kind of responsibility, which requires two people to work together to operate effectively.
Recently, a man transporting watermelons in Heilongjiang suffered a car accident, and his conversation with firefighters during the rescue process was hotly searched.
The man was badly injured and his leg was stuck in the car and could not move.
When the firefighters were ready to continue to rescue him, the man said, "Please help save my money first." ”
"Save people first, leave them alone." The firefighter told him that after all, life was more important than money.
But he insisted, "I have to take care of it!" My daughter-in-law is about to give birth, and the money has to be given to her. ”
It turned out that at this moment, what he was most worried about was his pregnant wife.
Netizens have praised him as a responsible and responsible man.
yes.
In The Art of Love, Fromm says, "Responsibility is a fully conscious action, a desire and reply to another life that has or has not yet been expressed." ”
A long-term marriage is indispensable to this willing sense of responsibility.
Responsibility is a sweet burden and a driving force for happiness.
Two people shoulder the responsibility of the family together and manage the married life well, so that they can taste the sweetness of marital happiness.
Fu Seoul said in "Strange Story": "Marriage is a choice, the most valuable thing is not that we have chosen each other in many choices, but no matter how long it takes, we will still choose each other in many choices." ”
A good marriage is like this, whether poor or rich, with an inclusive and responsible heart, hold each other's hands and go down firmly.
There are occasional thoughts of letting go along the way, but in the end you don't let go of your hand.
Text / Blue Kite