The old man said that marriage is a gorgeous robe covered with lice. Some people are still young girls after marriage, married to love. Some people share happiness and hardship after marriage, and marry the right husband. Some people become resentful wives after marriage and marry the wrong man. The relationships involved in marriage are intricate. Even the most perfect marriage has a little chicken feather. Some issues don't change with getting married. The other person's family, it is like a time machine, allowing people to foresee their future marital status. Sometimes, the choice outweighs the effort. When you get married, don't look for these five kinds of families.
1. A calculating family
Lin Ke is divorced. Stepping into marriage only to find out that love is a scam. Wind and snow cannot be eaten as a meal. Before marriage, Lin Ke's boyfriend was more difficult and could not come up with a dowry of 30,000 yuan. In this era when material is king, Lin Ke is distressed about his boyfriend and pays for the bride price himself.
After marriage, the in-laws not only did not appreciate, but also showed off everyone, their sons were very capable, and it did not cost a penny to marry their wives. Even the day after the wedding, at the dinner table, her mother-in-law said, "Take your thirty thousand dowries out for your father-in-law." He needs money to do business. Lin Ke didn't know what kind of confusion and regret he had to experience in this marriage. When I was young, I was crazy about love, and in the end it was just a joke. Being meticulous is an ability to optimize life, but being good at calculation is the ability to murder life. A long and healthy marriage in which the husband and wife are a community. Both should have no disdain or contempt for each other. One side of the Community is particularly concerned with practical interests. Those who are good for themselves are complacent, and those who are unfavorable to themselves begin to cry and clamor. These fancy acts of death are all laying mines for later life.
In this era, whose little nine-nine can't see it? Sometimes I don't say it, I just don't want to worry about it so much, after all, I will live for a lifetime. You enter and I retreat, I retreat and you advance, which is the way for both sides to get along. Who blindly asks the other family to give in and benefit from their own family? Be sincere with each other, and only sincerity can always be.
2. Giant baby family
Chen Dan and her boyfriend's two favorite three words are: "My mother said..." They will get married next month, due to the disagreement between the two mothers in the wedding process, the marriage was not completed in the end. Their story, the whole time, is nothing more than: "My mother said, his mother said, our family, their family." "In fact, two people who are married are the bridge and glue for the parents of both sides to communicate with each other. In this silent smoke, the two small families joined forces and "dealt" with the adults on both sides.
Chen Dan and his boyfriend, the common position of the two is gone. Each was shot by two mothers. The two of them did not form a new family, and the position was ready to change. Psychologically, they are very dependent on their original families. To put it bluntly, the two are still "giant babies". This situation is very common in life: two young people are in love like a decent person. The mouth also said to love each other for a lifetime, to give commitment, responsibility, talk about marriage. But as soon as something happened, the relationship the two had established before suddenly disappeared. What others say is what it is, not negotiable and not giving in. Get married, have your own small family, can two people scissors stone cloth, do not summon both parents three people to fight landlords, four people to play mahjong. Resolve contradictions at the smallest time, and don't accumulate grudges.
3. Disrespect your family
Qingqing finally ended the 2-year love sprint with her boyfriend Liu Wei, to the point of talking about marriage. The first time I went to see my boyfriend's parents, his mother took Qingqing's hand and said in a serious voice: "After that, I will hand over Liu Wei to you, and you must take good care of him." Let him be a little bit, he's so thin, you're going to make him fatter. But he never mentioned that Liu Wei should treat Qingqing well and tolerate each other. Most importantly, Liu Wei did not feel that there was nothing wrong with his mother saying this, and asked Qingqing: "Shouldn't you take care of me?" "Emphasize that you have to take care of your children and pay no attention to your feelings." It seems that they are looking for a partner to serve their children, a "daily necessity". There are some hidden dangers in such a future life, and "daily necessities" should not have personal feelings. Therefore, in the future, you may have demands and grievances that may appear, and you will basically not get any response.
Truly respect your family and don't care about your feelings. People who speak in front of you and don't pay any attention to your emotional changes are nothing more than "unscrupulous" with your love and feel that you will not leave. There are some things that can be avoided before marriage, and do not wait until after marriage to repent. Mutual respect is the basis of love and marriage, don't let yourself love be too cheap and humble. Man, only if he knows enough about things themselves can he know how to defend himself in order to protect himself. How many unfortunate people after marriage, most of them are stubborn before marriage and walk tightropes for love. Having said all this, some people still can't escape the fate brewed by their stubborn character.
4. Families with discordant birth families
The impact of the family of origin is subtle. Even if I think this is not right, I still can't help but follow suit when I encounter things. What is commonplace since childhood will penetrate deep into the marrow, and few people can get rid of this curse. Zhang Hao once thought that he could love a girl whose original family was unhappy. Marry her and give her a good life. But until I was scarred, I didn't know that some things were abysses. It stares at you and engulfs you. Zhang Hao eventually discovered how much his wife hated her mother for abandoning her. How much she hated her half-siblings.
The wife's hatred was planted in her heart. She thought she had digested it, but she didn't expect the day the seed of hatred grew up so suddenly. The fruit of this hatred directly killed her yearning for a good marriage. Her three views shattered to the ground, and she couldn't pick them up. A bad family relationship can deform a person's growth. You don't know when his deeply buried inner uneasiness will flare up and what the consequences will be. Lucky can get rid of the new life. Unfortunately, not only will one's own life be affected, but one's own children or parents will also suffer. It's not that people with bad families are bad. On the contrary, some of them are influenced by their original families, and he knows more about observing words and colors. Will feel your subtle mood swings and give you timely feedback. Because he is sensitive, the slightest movement of the people around him can cause him uneasiness and suspicion. It's just that this sensitivity will give you a headache, because you don't know which sentence pokes his pain point. And when he refuses to communicate with you, this sense of distrust and betrayal continues to accumulate, and the other party will act aggressively.
The original family is not harmonious, it is difficult to run in, and it takes more energy. If you have enough patience, enough confidence, enough courage, enough tolerance, enough ability. Most importantly, the other party can be aware of their own problems, willing to change, have a clear view of love and self-motivation. Otherwise your relationship will be more and more backwards and it will not be easy to embrace happiness. If you can try to find a partner who lives in a happy and loving family, people who grow up in love will know more about love and express love.
5. Families with too many different concepts
"I used to think it was true love, and nothing else was a problem. Now it feels like the door is right, it's really important. Yun Fang, who has been married for 5 years, said. A person's values, consumption outlook, and ideological outlook for twenty or thirty years are different, and where they can be changed overnight. The difference in family concepts between the two sides is too great, which will lead to the attack on the small families formed by the two sides. Add a lot of unpleasant factors and produce unnecessary contradictions. Both sides have made great efforts to eliminate or attenuate this difference. Or try to adapt to each other's lives. Most people can't adjust, and life is bound to be disharmonious. At least one person on both sides has a strong wisdom in life, as a buffer, adjusting and accommodating the other.
Marriage is the same, whose family has not yet been a little faulty, it is impossible to be 100% complete. Being able to feel loved and loved is not a matter of principle, both sides take a step back, the sea and the sky. If the general direction is right, if each other's goals and ideals are consistent, and each other tolerates small imperfections, then it is the best. Life is a lemon. But we can squeeze it into delicious lemonade and work together to create more beauty.
"Home is not a reasonable place." Because there's a love word in it, everything doesn't make all the sense. Marriage is a lifelong affair. There is no need to let two people who were originally in love become unrecognizable in marriage because of some factors that have long been foreseen. Aren't we looking for a partner to be happier and more satisfying for ourselves, but to suffer? Polish your eyes, learn more, communicate more. Collide with the souls of the deep inside and reap the happiness you want.