Cousin went to high school, always in love, uncle beat him up in a rage, adolescent children are so rebellious, actually stole 20,000 yuan from the family to engage in pyramid schemes. Uncle wanted to cry without tears, one day

Cousin went to high school, always in love, uncle beat him up in a rage, adolescent children are so rebellious, actually stole 20,000 yuan from the family to engage in pyramid schemes. Uncle wanted to cry without tears, one day was sitting at home, came two young men, after confirming the identity of the uncle, took out forty thousand pieces and put it on the top: I am the head of the pyramid scheme, the money is returned to you, plus twenty thousand, tell me where your son is? The uncle asked in a panic: He is in trouble? The head said, "The boy ran away from me on crutches."

2, wife: How is the corner of your mouth swollen? I covered my face: I didn't take care of the guy I was eating today. Wife: What the hell is going on? Me: My colleague Xiaomei wears a short skirt in the summer and a long skirt in the winter. Today I was looking for a pen under my desk, and I saw her legs trembling, so I got up and said to her, "What's the shaking?" Who told you not to wear pants all year round... And that's it!

3, I just graduated from college, entered a company internship, I am a small generation, so try to make my mouth sweet. So every day when I arrived at the office, various uncles and aunts called enthusiastically. One day I was eating in the canteen, and I happened to hear the women in several nearby offices chatting: the young man who just came to intern, all aspects are OK, it is that mouth is very poisonous!

4, I think the most difficult choice question I encountered during the summer vacation when I was a child is this: Mom: "How do you run out every day to play, run wild, can you stay at home in peace?" Dad: "Why do you stay at home every day, take a vacation and not go out to play, and raise your stomach at home!" ”

5, there is a brother to find a wife, very fierce, buddy a little careless, will be beaten by the wife.　　On this day, the buddies really couldn't stand the torture of their fierce wives, so they wanted to go out for a few days. After a day outside, in the evening, he came to a hotel, and the innkeeper opened a room for him and said flatteringly: "Staying in this room, you will feel like you are in your own home." When the buddy heard this, he shouted, "Oh my God, you can quickly change my room!" ”

6. When I was a teacher at the working high school, I talked about love with the class flower of our class. As soon as she graduated, we got engaged first, and then we waited for the age to go and get a license. She texted me last night saying that her parents weren't home today and asked me to accompany her. I was so excited that when I got there, I immediately pounced on it and walked to the couch while kissing. At this moment, her mother suddenly came out of the toilet and said to her fiancée stunned: Am I not at home again?

7, recently the buddies want to earn some pocket money, but also for our party singing convenience, they opened a KTV. He usually did not care about the things inside, handed them over to the manager, and from time to time went to sit inside. Today he was sitting in the office drinking tea, and suddenly two waiters ran over: boss, the girls singing in the VIP room have run away, how do you see it? Dude listen: you are sick, we are not a conservatory, the guests are out of tune and we have a relationship with Mao. Waiter: I'm talking about them running away, running singles, leaving, not checking out and leaving! nabs......

8, crush on the class of a handsome guy practicing sanda, how to hint do not understand. One day, I plucked up the courage to put "xx month xx evening xx, cao field under the third tree, not to see and not to scatter." The note was sandwiched in his textbook. Shy I didn't sign it. That day, I was waiting under the tree in a flowing way. The handsome man came, and there was a group of figures behind him. The moonlight was bright, and the handsome man saw the figure under the tree and shouted, "Is it your challenge book?" ”

9, at work, several of our female colleagues are bored and like to chat together, chatting about why the girl's sixth feeling is so accurate. While chatting, another female colleague just came over, and as soon as she heard that she was talking about this, she immediately interfaced: I don't like the sixth sense! We asked curiously why? This guy actually replied: I prefer Durex!!!

10, I worked in the company for a month and was favored by the boss. The owner promoted me from employee to manager and assigned me a car. Yesterday, I drove my girlfriend to the airport, and she kept spraying perfume there after getting in the car. I said, "Can you not spray perfume?" I am allergic to perfume. The girlfriend snorted coldly: "Why did you spray a perfume on this battery car?" Still smelly? ”

1 refrigerator stuffed with delicious food, WIFI is not stuck at all, all the electronic products around are fully charged, came a message to you is ready to open, at this time the courier and takeaway brother shouted at the door at the same time, is there anyone at home? ~~~ The dream life of the otaku! Hahahaha~

12, the fruit knife bought online arrived, dismantled the courier hand itch with the finger touched the blade, the result of the fruit knife is very fast, instantly cut the finger ... ... So I put down my knife and went to find a Band-Aid. When I came back, I saw my colleague playing with a fruit knife, and when he saw me, he said, "Your knife is good..." He touched the blade with his finger, and then I took him to find a Band-Aid... When I came back, I saw someone at my desk, holding a fruit knife in front of me... It seems that it is necessary to give a bad review, reason: this fruit knife is too expensive to band-aid!

13, in interpersonal relationships, the two identities of colleagues and friends are inherently contradictory. Colleagues are a kind of interpersonal relationship under the norms of the market, while friends are relationships under the norms of society. You and your colleagues work in the company, the purpose is to get paid according to work, the exchange of interests between you and the company, including but not limited to wages, bonuses, titles, project profits, internal gossip, etc.; what arises between you and your colleagues is a comparison of interests, even if this comparison occurs very little, it must exist.

14, early in the morning, I saw a car was painted in a mess, but I saw the children playing happily, I was happy for them, did not stop. Because the car paint can be restored to its original state, there are not many opportunities to doodle on the car in childhood, and the child's happiness is the most important. So I didn't say anything. After all...... The car is not mine, and the child is not mine!