1. Received a transfer of 100,000 from my girlfriend, immediately transferred back to her, and then arrived at the account of half a million, I immediately called: you don't always give me money, love can not be measured by money, and I am a big man, how can I always spend my girlfriend's money! As long as you and I have feelings and righteousness, nothing matters, and I will never ask for money. The girlfriend replied, "Honey! I know you're tough, for me, you take it! I said, "No! Resolutely do not accept. Before I could transfer the money, another million arrived, and I helplessly asked my girlfriend, "What's wrong with you today?" Why give me so much money? The girlfriend said, "You forgot, it was my birthday." I said, "How could I have forgotten!" You nag three times a day! The girlfriend snorted and said, "This money is for you, I want you to buy me a birthday present, if it is not enough, tell me, I will transfer it to you." I said helplessly, "Okay! Baby, you put one hundred and twenty hearts! It will definitely surprise you when the time comes. So I reluctantly accepted the one and a half million. No way! In this world, if you want to eat soft rice, there are definitely few soft rice and hard food like me.
2. I was out of town on a business trip, didn't eat all day, and almost didn't catch the train. The food truck waiter is still shouting 30 lunches, plus chicken thighs! Besides, chicken legs are not expensive. I was about to pay for it when an uncle next to me asked me: Are you hungry? If you are not hungry, bear with it and buy it later! I didn't listen to him and paid for a lunch! After eating and wiping her mouth, the dining car waiter pushed the dining car again, this time she shouted: box lunch plus chicken legs 10 yuan a piece! The uncle smiled at me and shouted: Get me a copy!
3. The sister and the brother-in-law have been married for 5 years without children, and the brother-in-law divorced the sister under the threat of the mother-in-law. Later, his sister and the current brother-in-law got pregnant less than a year after marriage, and he was particularly happy, so he asked his sister to quickly talk to the leader and strive to reduce some work to protect the fetus. At lunch, I met the leader in the canteen, and my sister said with the surname Fen: "Chief, I am pregnant!" Colleagues were suddenly quiet. The leader was stunned for half a day, and held out a sentence: Does your husband know? My sister replied without a second thought: He asked me to talk to you about this problem. There was an instant silence around...
4. My sister is now studying at Tsinghua University in Beijing. Then, her parents gave her 3,000 yuan a month for living expenses. Two days ago, my sister bought a set of skin care products, and 3,000 yuan was spent at once, so my sister began to calculate how to find her father and ask for money. This morning my sister laid dad a bowl of noodles and a poached egg. Dad looked at the noodles and asked: How much is this bowl of noodles worth?
5. As life gets better and better, science and technology are getting more and more advanced, and now children are getting smarter and smarter. Today I went to pick up my son from school, and my son said angrily: You see my classmates, the family is driving a luxury car to pick up and drop off. I said in a serious tone: Don't have a comparison mentality, Dad can't afford to buy a luxury car, but Dad has been working hard, trying his best is the most important! You tell me? The son nodded and said: Dad is right. Then he slowly took out the report card from his bag: Dad, I tried my best. I am speechless about this.
6. After graduating from New Oriental, the brother-in-law went to a five-star hotel for an interview.
During the interview, he had a very opportunistic conversation with the interviewer.
After the interview, he was about to get up when he found a piece of garbage next to the table and quietly picked it up.
In retrospect, the brother-in-law felt that he was also hired.
But in the end, he still failed, and the personnel department explained: "After the interview, you actually took away our manager's tea eggs, and our hotel does not need this kind of gold-worshiping employee." ”
7. Yesterday with the buddies to go to the pedestrian street, halfway on the stomach pain, just happened to see a public toilet, I did not think about it to drill into it, after a burst of pouring found that I did not bring toilet paper, that embarrassment ah!! With a stroke of genius, he knocked on the toilet next to him and said, "Brother next door, can you give me some paper, I forgot to bring it." After waiting for ten seconds, I only heard an embarrassed voice of a sister paper: "Big brother, whether you went into the wrong toilet or did I enter the wrong place?"
8. Went to Beijing for seven days on a business trip with the manager and finally went home. Sitting on the couch at night completely without moving, sitting and watching TV. My husband was puzzled when he saw me and asked me if I was tired. I looked at my husband and sighed: From the moment I came back and walked in the door, you hugged, kissed, balloon candles, red wine, a hearty dinner, it seemed like everything was natural, but you only missed one thing... My husband listened and looked at me with a look of surprise. I said calmly: I came back early and didn't tell anyone.
9. The wife went upstairs together, and the whole corridor smelled of Chinese medicine. The wife stared at the man's feet. Male explanation: It's really not the smell of my feet, but my daughter-in-law is still staring! So I took off my shoes, and my wife covered her mouth and said, "Oh! Now the smell of Chinese medicine can't smell it! It's all your feet stink! It happened that at this time, I followed an old woman, saw the man and went down again, and said: I thought that the taste on the top was passed on from the bottom, and the taste on the top was even greater for half a day!
10. A teacher in the city is commanded to attend classes in a school in the countryside. In a class, his brother told his classmates about modern history, ancient history, and how human beings were transformed. He also talked about spaceships and how humans landed on the moon, and after the lecture, he asked his classmates what questions they had. Xiaoming stood up and asked, "Teacher, when will there be a spaceship in our village?" ”
11. Tonight, the girlfriend's family sat on the sofa after eating and watching TV. Suddenly, her 5-year-old son asked her girlfriend: Mom, how did you and your father meet back then? Girlfriend: We were college classmates. Her husband: It was your mother who chased me with a dead face. Girlfriend: Yes, that's right, one day, you go to pick up the new students, look at me well, run with my suitcase, I chased you for half a school to catch up with you! #Funny Scene of the Year # #搞笑一刻 #
![No need to get up early, the breakfast for seven days is not the same, the staple dishes are changed, and they can be served in 15 minutes[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)