When I was a child, I went to the countryside with my parents, and saw that there was an orange tree planted in the yard next door, and I looked at the oranges full of trees and the saliva could not stop flowing, so I ran back and took a stool and stood up and picked a dozen in one breath

When I was a child, I went to the countryside with my parents, and saw that there was an orange tree planted in the yard next door, and I looked at the oranges full of trees and the saliva could not stop flowing, so I ran back to get a stool and stood up and picked a dozen of them in one breath, and ran home with a cigarette to secretly eat, thinking that no one found it anyway. As a result, at dinner in the evening, the stool was returned next door.

2, my cousin drove Wuling Hongguang and took me to the county town to deliver. After getting out of the car he went to the toilet, and I wandered around and saw a beautiful woman selling snacks. The beauty gave me a packet to try and a card for me to fill out the tasting experience. When I wanted to fill in the mobile phone number, I asked her if she had to fill it out, and the beauty nodded firmly. My brain was hot, and I filled in my cousin's mobile phone number. I watched next to it for half a day, and found that in addition to me, the beauty to others to try, are unpacked to give a little bit, did not ask anyone to fill out the tasting experience, I really do not know what the beauty means. In the end, this beautiful woman became my cousin.

3, there was a fresh moon cake in front of me, I did not cherish it well, and when it expired, I regretted it, and the most painful thing in the world was this. If someone gives me another moon cake in the Mid-Autumn Festival, then I will say three words to the cake giver - "thank you", if I have to add an expectation to this moon cake, I hope it is five kernel filling ~ ~ ~ ~

4, when playing games, I want to smoke, and I find that I can't find a cigarette at home. I asked my daughter-in-law to buy me a pack of 14 yuan cigarettes. My daughter-in-law reached out to me for money, and I used WeChat to transfer a hundred yuan to her. Then he said to her: I don't have any change, give you a hundred, and the rest will be returned to me. To my surprise, my daughter-in-law sent me back a fifty, a twenty, a ten, a five and a red envelope.

5, just been beaten by a northeast big man. When I saw him sad in the corner, I went over and asked him why, and he said that his girlfriend thought he was ugly. I said, "What are you ugly!" He immediately gave me a mouthful: "Look at you? ”

6, go to the restaurant with friends, saw a fly in the sauerkraut fish, buddy wanted to call the waiter, I said wait, and then took out a coin and hid it on the plate. Then called the waiter, the waiter apologized and said to change a pot, and after a while the waiter brought another pot. Then we started flipping in front of the waiter, and when we flipped out a coin the waiter was stupid! Then the lobby manager came busy apologizing and saying I paid for the meal.

7, there is a month to get married, the mother-in-law is really good, she said that the bride price can be given in installments, give a month on the line, the first day to give 1 cent, the second day 2%, the third day 4%, such a sequence to give enough a month on the line, hey hey, the first day is only 0001.

8, today came to a library, saw a sister reading, big chest, I strangled a go, I had a clever move, the money was thrown to the ground, said: Beauty, your money fell. Beauty took one look at it and gave me a direct slap: Roll, a dollar wants to see!

9, the roommate panicked and ran back from outside: "I was shot, you go get me the medical kit," I was stunned: "What game are you playing?" Roommate: "Eat chicken games," I handed her a bottle of Coke: "You just rinse your mouth, the medicine box is out of medicine."

10, the dormitory classmates said to me: "I want to be able to marry XXX, I must be a super model husband." I asked, "What is a supermodel husband?" Answered: "If I earn two dollars, I will give him a dollar of five, and then use the fifty cents to buy her something; every time I eat, I let her eat first, and she eats the rest of the meal for her to eat later, and I will drink the river water, rain and snow water and eat some grass root bark to deal with it." "Yes, live a primitive addiction." "But we also have times to improve our lives." "On her birthday?" "No, when I catch the rat."

1 My second uncle went to apply for a job, he had to fill in the application form whether he had been arrested before, of course he filled in: "No! The next question is, "Why?" This was answered to the person who filled in the previous question "yes", but he still wrote: "Because I have never been caught!" ”

12, I have been married for more than ten years, and suddenly on a whim I said to my wife: Let's talk about love again, you pretend not to know me. The wife said: Okay! I said to her, "Hey! Ladies and gentlemen! Who knew that she raised her hand and slapped me, and scolded in her mouth: Dare to harass your aunt and grandmother, and get tired of you!

13. After our company went bankrupt, I went to work as a delivery man. When I delivered the takeaway today, I received the food and rushed to the user's doorstep. After knocking on the door, I smiled and said: Please give me a good review, we have a task, thank you! The user in the door also smiled: Don't care about the evaluation of others, just be yourself. I....... Is this what it means to give a bad review?

14, I usually do not smile, this year just sixteen-year-old sister-in-law is a little afraid of me. At noon, I heard someone knocking on the door, and when I opened the door, I saw that it was my sister-in-law. She held a bamboo leaf green in her hand and handed it to me while saying, "My sister asked me to give it to you." After saying that, he hurried away with his suitcase. In the evening, my wife came home from work and asked me, "Snake received?" I said, "Hmm. Wife: "My sister has started school, let's help take care of it, you feed it some meat paste." "Feed some minced meat?" I looked at the snake soup in the pot and fell into thought...