1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1, take a good bath with my wife at night, ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said in approval, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig brain.

2, just moved to the community cousin to the Hydraulic Resources Bureau to pay the electricity bill, the staff is a cute girl, the cousin uses Alipay to scan the code to pay. I have been peeking at my cousin and saying to my cousin: Let's add an Alipay friend. My cousin knew that his peach blossom luck was coming, and when he was preparing to give it to her, a big aunt next to him said: Don't add it, I also added it before, every day at 6 o'clock to steal the energy of my ant forest! My cousin said: No wonder!?

3. Although I only have a college degree, because my father is the principal of our village primary school, I went in to become a teacher. I teach Grade 3 Chinese, and today I have students write essays under the title of "If I Were a Rich Man." The students struggled to write books and fell into a beautiful vision, but the class leader sat still. I asked strangely, "Why don't you write?" The squad leader said calmly: "The rich man does not need to write any composition, there is a secretary." ”

4. Today, I met an old classmate on the street who I hadn't seen for a long time. I invited guests to a restaurant for dinner, and I was dumbfounded by the menu. Delicious dishes are expensive, and cheap dishes are not delicious and cannot be taken out. So I flipped through the menu in that dilemma, and I flipped through it for thirty minutes. The waiter stood there impatiently, and said: Sir, can you hurry up? I "snapped" the closed menu and said to the old classmates next to me: The waiter's attitude is not good, let's change it! "

5, that was ten years ago, my father bought an electric car for my mother. But my mother didn't dare to ride a bicycle, let alone an electric car. Once I went to the countryside I rode with my mother, encountered a big pit, I accelerated and directly rushed over, rushed past a smoke and ran so fast! After a while, I won't hear my mother talking, looking back, my mother is sitting on the ground far away... If it wasn't for my mom calling my phone, I wouldn't have known that my mom would have been turned upside down by me in the big pit...

6. The father-in-law owes 8 million mesh bags and cannot repay the self-sha, and the mother-in-law also abandons the little uncle and the little sister-in-law to remarry. I looked at the two children pitifully and took them to our house. At dinner last night, I asked both of them about their grades. The sister-in-law said: How many points I feel does not matter, I only care about marrying a good man in the future. The little uncle frowned and said: "I don't care, as long as I don't marry a woman like my sister."

7. The mother-in-law is a Chinese teacher in Maotanchang Middle School, with a monthly salary of 80,000 yuan. Today, my mother-in-law's mood is better, and she took a particularly vivid lesson. After class, the mother-in-law sat in the office bored and brushed the circle of friends. After a while, the mother-in-law's face became particularly ugly. Because she saw a circle of students writing: "The bell rings and I see sleeping pills coming in." ”

8, Xiao Li since going to college, this living expenses are also rising. This is not the day, and I am writing to my family again. Dear Father, your son is now in trouble, the academic results can not go up, need 2,000 yuan, improve the grades. Two days later, his father replied, which contained two hundred yuan and a piece of paper that said: "Son, you are all in college, even two hundred yuan are wrong, and write one more 0!" I will study it seriously in the future! ”

9. Yesterday I went to a ramen restaurant to eat and ordered a beef for 60 yuan to buy it. After eating and drinking, I shouted: Boss, checkout! No one paid attention to me, and asked the boss to pay the bill, or no one paid attention! In the end, I was really helpless, so I yelled: Lady boss, I left first! Just listen to the high-pitched and sweet voice of the lady boss: Slow walk, remember to come back next time!?

10, in Biguiyuan spent 2 million to buy a house, relatively close to the night market, often go shopping. Suddenly, I found that the person who bought clothes was the first in the previous class! I took the initiative to say hello, but the boss did not admit it: I'm sorry, you recognized the wrong person. I was very confused and had no choice but to leave. Just two steps, the boss shouted behind his back with a smile: Old classmate, walk slowly! Welcome back next time!

11, go to work on the subway, see a mother and daughter, the little girl is very cute, the eyes are shining. Can't help but tease her, I pointed to the small steamed bun in her hand and asked: Can I give it to my brother? The little girl just took one out and stuffed it in her mouth, and then took it from her mouth to me to eat. I saw the wet saliva on it, and I cried when I didn't eat it. Her mother glanced back at me.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #