After picking up the car, the female colleague said: In order to celebrate this important day, I have a treat in the evening. "During the meal, the female colleague ordered three bottles of beer, and I was too drunk to drink, and only one bottle was drunk, at this time

After picking up the car, the female colleague said: In order to celebrate this important day, I have a treat in the evening. "During the meal, the female colleague ordered three bottles of beer, I was overwhelmed by alcohol, only one bottle was drunk, at this time, vaguely saw the female colleague take out a piece of paper, raise my hand, press a fingerprint on the paper, the next day to the company, the female colleague took out a piece of paper and said to me: This is the agreement you signed last night, from today onwards, you are my man." Oops, did I sell myself for a meal?

2, in line to buy breakfast, someone patted me from behind, I looked back, it was two girls, one of them smiled shyly and said: "I'm sorry, I recognized the wrong person." I looked back, and then faintly heard one of the girls say, "What's so handsome, so ugly, what a look..."

3, it is reported that the 65-year-old janitor of a university in Guangdong was forced to resign because he was repeatedly harassed by the school flowers, saying: The current young people really can't stand it It is said that the school flowers are fine and always go to the janitor's room to talk about some privacy issues, and occasionally pretend to faint and insist that Uncle Zhou artificial respiration Uncle Zhou helplessly resigns, the principal repeatedly retains before he is willing to stay and continue to work In order to avoid similar incidents, the school asked Uncle Zhou not to drive Bentley to work in the future, and Uncle Zhou also said that he wanted to change to Mercedes-Benz.

4, unintentionally saw a sealed stall bag on the top of the wardrobe, the outside handwritten "ex-boyfriend"! My head hummed, like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, and I almost didn't fall out of my chair, what did my daughter-in-law hide from me behind my back? After hesitating for a long time, tremblingly tearing open the seal, a white piece of paper wrote: "Husband, when you see this stall bag, I know that you climbed up to hide the money, the seal has been torn open, give me a conscious 200 in the stall bag."

5. In the first two years, my son developed the bad habit of drinking Coke while eating. My resourceful wife mixed vinegar into Coke, increased the proportion of vinegar in moderation every day, and successfully quit her son's coke addiction half a month later. alas! During this time, my sense of taste has also become worse, how do I feel that the liquor that I must drink every night is slowly becoming sour...

6, the result is less than a week, the girlfriend ran back to her mother's house crying, to divorce her husband! Girlfriend mom asked her why? She cried and pulled open the turtleneck sweater, pulled up the hem of her pants, pointed to the bruised handprints on her neck and ankles, and said, "It's terrible, he likes to sleepwalk at night to practice grasping, fortunately I run fast, otherwise I will be thrown to death!" ”

7, a new female neighbor, heard that I have a car, took the initiative to go to the door to ask for a car. I didn't like to be rubbed in the car, but she was very handsome, and I couldn't refuse. In order to give the female neighbor a good impression, on the first day I borrowed the boss's super run home, and the first sentence the female neighbor sat in the car was: "Brother, I will be your girlfriend!" I said, "Didn't you watch your boyfriend send you home the other day?" The female neighbor said: "You are my true love, as for the ex-boyfriend, we take money and smash it....arbitrarily give hundreds of thousands, I don't believe he is not separated." I just got her out of the car, and I thought about you taking the money and smashing it? I'm stupid, take the money and hit your boyfriend?

8. The captain took the printed photo of the wanted criminal, gave the police dog a sniff, and said: "Smell it!" That's him! Grab me to death bite! In the afternoon, Lee printer, who was responsible for printing photos of wanted criminals at the police station, was bitten to death by police dogs.

9. On a rainy day, a classmate asked my brother if he had seen any of the girls who were on the same road as him, so that he could share an umbrella with her. When my brother asked him why, his classmate opened a brightly colored printed umbrella and said, "Then no one will think that this umbrella is mine!"

10. Pulled by my mother to go on a blind date. It was found that the other party was a boyfriend in high school, and the relationship was found by the class teacher to notify the parents to transfer schools and ended. Parents of both sides also met at school. But the parents were not impressed. One of them said that the two of us were in love with each other, so this product said: If it were not for your two obstruction, our children would have been able to play soy sauce!

1 colleague has a cold, has been running a nose, the only half pack of paper in the office has been wiped out, ask me if I still have it? I found a soft roll of paper in my bag and handed it to him. He was now carrying the disposable paper little neinei printed with "XX Sweat Steam" looking at me with a confused face...

12. After interviewing all the candidates, the examiner writes down his impressions of each person. The first, he wrote, was slightly restrained but articulate. Second, he wrote: Quick thinking but lack of self-confidence. The third one that impressed me the most couldn't remember what to write. Finally the examiner finally remembered and wrote: The hairstyle is beautiful.

13. A man and a woman in a company recruit several new employees in the talent market. A male recruiter asked a female candidate: "Tell me, what big does our company need to recruit?" What is strong? What tight female secretary? The female applicant blushed and was embarrassed to answer. The male recruiter said: "Don't think crooked, it is a female secretary with great responsibility, strong ability and tight mouth." The female recruiter asked a male candidate: "Tell me, what do we need to recruit?" What coarse? What hard male bodyguard? The male applicant was also blushing and embarrassed to answer. The female recruiter said: "You don't want to be crooked, it's a male bodyguard with long arms, thick waists, and hard fists." "

14. In the third year of junior high school, the class teacher said: "I have been observing you for a long time, you are a talent!" The way of thinking is unique, imaginative, and the hands-on ability is strong. The school's education is too restrictive for you to play, you should go to the big stage of society..." I actually believed it at that time! It took many years to react, and this is the legendary dissuasion!