My cousin was newly married yesterday and is admitted to the hospital today. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. Taking advantage of my sister-in-law's exit, I asked, "What are you doing?"

My cousin was newly married yesterday and is admitted to the hospital today. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. While my sister-in-law was out, I asked, "What are you doing?" Cave flower candle night fight? Cousin: "When I woke up this morning, your sister-in-law found that there was one more person in the bed, and she kicked me out without even thinking about it!" ”

2. Last night I asked my cousin to visit the door, when she said to me: "I sell men's clothes, cousin, you can buy a set, honor your father, or give your boyfriend..." So I said to her: "Dad said he doesn't need it, but I don't have a boyfriend..." The cousin didn't expect her to say to me: "Then you can find a boyfriend immediately!" ”

3. On our wedding night, a tired little couple was lying on the window chatting. The bride smiled and asked: Do you have a crush? Sina listened to it and suddenly sighed and said: Yes! Just after saying that, the bride glanced meaningfully at the groom and said: "What about later?" The groom suddenly felt a chill, and instantly woke up and shouted: I have married my hand!

4. This morning the boss came to the office, and the cousin was 5 minutes late for work and was caught by the boss. The boss killed the chicken and the monkey, deducted half a day's salary, and the cousin was in a sharp depression! My cousin just sat down when he returned to the office, and the computer had not yet turned on, and the company had lost power! Subsequently, my cousin was told to rest today... The cousin was depressed: he was scolded for doing nothing, deducted half a day's salary, how did this mix ah!

5. I opened a clothing store, but the business was not good. The boy in the fruit shop next door often came to me and lamented the hardships of entrepreneurship and the difficulty of life. Later, the young man knew that I loved to eat fruit and sent fruit to me every day. I also sent him some clothes, which lasted for half a year..... Today I met the lad at the talent market.

6. The old clam held a "hydrangea throwing" ceremony for his beloved daughter, and all kinds of insects actively participated in the natural song of the coveted female clam. After a fierce scramble, the hydrangea was snatched by the centipede. The old centipede invited the centipede to speak on the stage, and the excited words of the centipede came from the microphone: "The reason why I was able to grab the hydrangea today is thanks to my hands more than others!" ”

7. After graduating from college, I didn't want to stay in the big city to work, so I took the train back to my hometown in the countryside. The boyfriend also returned home, and we started a long-distance relationship. My hometown is in the mountains, the signal is very poor, thanks to the wifi, so that I will not cut off contact with my boyfriend. That time, it was raining outside all the time, and I was idle and bored to video chat with my boyfriend. "Click" A big thunder instant power outage, I look at the phone, not to mention the data can not be connected, even the phone can not be called. I was really helpless, so I went out with an umbrella against the heavy rain and walked for half an hour before sending him a text message to ask him not to worry about me. Walking home one foot deep and one foot shallow, I suddenly found that there was a call from home!

8. After the mother-in-law died due to a failed plastic surgery, the plastic surgery hospital compensated more than 6 million yuan. The old man immediately became a local tycoon, eating mountain treasures and seafood all day long. That time, the old man ate unwell and went to the proctology department to be hospitalized. As long as the head nurse was there, the old man named the head nurse to give him an injection. After more times, the head nurse asked him: "Uncle, why do you call me every time, is it because I have good skills?" "No, because you look a lot like my niece, chubby, and cute." ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #