1, on the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being hugged by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you have a married man holding me as an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings?

1, on the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being hugged by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you are a married man holding me, an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings? The man said: Girl, is it good to save some face for your father! If you hadn't been motion sickness, I wouldn't have put my arms around you!"

2. My mother is the secretary of the chairman of Harbin Pharmaceutical Sixth Factory, who recently retired and has a pension of 36,000 per month. I heard that my aunt was pregnant with my second child, so my mother bought some gifts to take me to my aunt's house to visit. At noon, my aunt left us there for lunch, and during the meal, my mother pointed to me and asked my 3-year-old cousin: "Is my sister beautiful?" The cousin shook his head and said, "Not pretty." The old mother suddenly had a black line on her face, and the aunt hurriedly rounded the field: "How beautiful is my sister, do you look like she doesn't look like a XIAN girl?" Cousin: "Not at all, I think my sister looks like a rat." "Later, the breath was very dull, and my mother took me away without saying hello!"

3, cousin: When I was in college, I played with my mobile phone in class, the battery was charged twice a day, and I had money at work, so I bought a good mobile phone! Me: My battery is charged half a month a day. Cousin: Half a month? What brand of phone? Me: It's not a phone problem, it's because I'm a programmer. Cousin: Could it be... Did you build a battery management system yourself? Me: All day long, busy with no time to look at the phone. "

4. When my cousin and I came out on a date, I was addicted to smoking, so I took out fireworks and smoked them. My cousin coughed, and I squeezed the cigarette straight away, never to smoke again. Decades later, as we watched the setting sun and remembered the past, I said, "I quit smoking for you!" The cousin laughed: "You still have a face and say that I coughed to make you get one for me!" ”

5, the girlfriend has been particularly good-looking since she was a child, and her father is always worried that she will be abducted by boys, and he disciplines her very strictly. But the girlfriend became more and more rebellious, went out to play in the morning, came back very late, and got a body of soil. Her dad beat her up, angry at her... Lock yourself in the toilet for the night! And that's not all... There was a small window in the toilet, and her father leaned in and reasoned with her. Isn't it full of picture sense!

6. The brother-in-law's special handsome high school was signed by the modeling company before he finished. Because of the advertising he often travels to various places, yesterday he stayed in a small township hotel at night someone stuffed a small card from the door slit, he picked it up and planned to throw it in the trash, suddenly stunned: "How can it be..." He looked at the card in disbelief, even if the printing was rough, but he would never admit it, and the set of clothes he wore would never admit it! The brother-in-law sat on the edge of the window, silent for a long time, and finally made up his mind to pull out his mobile phone. A lazy female voice came from the microphone: "Hello..." He blushed and roared angrily: "You guys have no work ethic, right?" Steal my women's photo print card! I just took it the day before yesterday! ”

7. This afternoon, a colleague went to the boss's office to find the boss to resign. Colleague: Boss I want to resign. Boss: What's wrong, is the salary not satisfied? Colleague: No, my dad is old and wants me to take over his shop. Boss: I didn't expect ah, our company also has a rich second generation to experience, what is your father's shop, where is it, which day I will visit it. Colleague: Nothing, the company's downstairs fried skewer shop! Boss: Well, I accept your resignation!

8. When I was in high school, I liked a beautiful girl at the beginning of my love. One day my sister's bicycle broke down, please ask me to send her home. Because I had such a close encounter with my sister for the first time, I was particularly nervous along the way. In this way, I stumbled and finally delivered my sister to the door. The girl got out of the car and looked at me with a look of disbelief: How did you do it, my house is on the 12th floor!

9, when I was eating at my mother-in-law's house, the radiator of my mother-in-law's house was broken, so I helped repair it, and I said: This needs square pliers to be able to do it. The mother-in-law seemed to understand and went to the balcony and said to the old man who was watering the flowers: Hey, take out the square tongs. The old man's hand holding the shower was obviously shaken, and then he said very seriously: Don't be blind, where do I have private money?

10. On the dating software, a female director of Wanda Group was invited to go to Haidilao for dinner. After ordering, the security guard came over and asked, "Sir, is the car at the door yours?" I didn't have a car at all, so I wanted to tease the security guard, and joked: "Shouldn't it be, you can go and see what the car is, if it's a Lexus 570, it's mine." After a few moments, the security guard came back and said, "Sir, it's really a Lexus 570, are you tired of moving it?" "I...

11. At school, I saw a student who could roller skate and sneak around the campus with a novice student, and the student suddenly said: "Sister Xue, be my girlfriend!" Sister Xue said, "If you can catch up with me, I will promise you!" "Then run in my direction. I heard that going up was a flying leg, directly knocking the student down! Come on, cadet! Seniors can only help you get here! Eh, don't do it! What are you doing? I'll help you... yes!?

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