1, there is a widow in our unit, very good figure, mature and charming, very charming. A lot of divorced men are pursuing her. But she didn't want any. She said that widows were looking for widows

1, there is a widow in our unit, very good figure, mature and charming, very charming. A lot of divorced men are pursuing her. But she didn't want any. She said that widows were looking for widows, and divorced men she did not look up to. One day the unit sent me and her on a business trip. I asked the leader why he didn't send a man to go on a business trip with me, and the leader said that everyone had more work at hand. Only the two of you have been doing less recently, so it's just the two of you. As a result, she got entangled with me and wanted to be my girlfriend.

2. The first time I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, my uncle handed me a cigarette at the dinner table. My aunt glared at my uncle, who gave me a look, and I rushed to take it. After dinner, my aunt and girlfriend went to the kitchen to wash the dishes, and I quietly asked my uncle: "Your cigarette seems to be damp?" Uncle: "Don't mention, I haven't smoked a box of cigarettes for three months, only my daughter brought her boyfriend back to let me take the opportunity to smoke one, come, there are two more, one person smoked one!" "When I think about it afterwards, I always feel that something is wrong!?

3. Female colleagues accompanied the director to drink, and woke up the next day, the director: "100,000 is enough?" Female clerk: "100,000 want to send me away, what a joke." Director: "So what do you say?" Female clerk: "What else can I do?" Marry me, of course. "The director fainted in front of his eyes.

4, a newly opened Porsche 4s store to do activities, see the sales girls inside look particularly beautiful, I went in and turned around. I pretended to look at the car, then stared at her and asked, "How much is this car?" She rolled her eyes and said, "About 6.88 million." Me: "Can I wholesale?" She began to laugh flatteringly: "How many do you want to buy?" Me: "I want to give the group executives one, thirty units are in stock?" She: "There are not so many spot spots, but we can..." Before she could finish, I immediately answered: "But what, but what, the spot is not enough, still want to do big business?" "Then I walked away without looking back!"

5. There is a pond in the rural hometown, when I was young, I often went with my friends to catch shrimp and fish. Once he fell into the water and looked like he was about to drown, but fortunately he was saved by a big brother from a neighboring village. He saved me, and when I grow up I will marry him and repay him. On this day, I went back to my hometown to see him, and with a shy face, I asked him if he remembered what I promised him when I was a child. He looked at me in horror and shouted, "Sister, let's not make trouble, we are beautiful and called to be with each other, but you are clearly revenge!" ”

6. The brother-in-law asked his sister to accompany him to the gym and said: Daughter-in-law, accompany me to the gym, what is it like? My sister said: Are you disgusted with my fatness? The brother-in-law said: If you don't want to, forget it. My sister said: Are you saying I'm lazy? The brother-in-law said: Baby, can you calm down? My sister said, "Are you saying I'm like a crazy woman?" The brother-in-law said: I don't mean that. Sister said: Are you saying that I love to lie? The brother-in-law said: Well, you don't want to go well! My sister said, wait, why do you go to the gym alone?

7. The cousin who has not been seen for a long time, went out to learn the craft when she was young and did not go to school. My cousin has learned massage in recent years, and her techniques are skillful and familiar with the road. Yesterday my cousin cupped the fire for his brother, and accidentally, a piece of burning alcohol dripped on him, quickly extinguished, and then the cousin said embarrassedly: Brother, it seems that you want fire. His brother: Want fire? I think this is going to cremate me!"

8, just grabbed the Huawei mate30pro in Jingdong yesterday, did not expect to arrive in one day, I prepared a screen fragmented drawing, scare the mother. Mom said to use my cell phone to call Dad, and when I handed it to her, I deliberately fell on the table. Mom was dumbfounded when she picked it up—the screen showed a cracked pattern. I laughed, took my phone and replaced the desktop, and then found that the screen was still cracked...

9, in fact, men's pressure is really great, bear a lot of responsibilities, we men also have sad times; there are many men who like to smoke a cigarette in the car before going home when they are in a bad mood, quietly thinking and reflecting, because only then is our body our own. Push open the door and go home, you are the vegetable rice oil and salt, the husband, the father, the son! Today I lit a cigarette in the car before I went home, closed my eyes and thought about this life, and just took a sip and was beaten. Hey, are the people who do buses so poor? Punch in the face! hurt!

10. My sister-in-law and I work in the same company, but no one around me knows about our relationship. At night, when I looked at my daughter-in-law's circle of friends, I inadvertently brushed up on the dynamics sent by my sister-in-law: "Some people are stupid!" Son, don't eat the fat meat to the mouth? "I was stunned, was she talking about me? But the principle I believe in is that rabbits do not eat nest grass. I opened my circle of friends and didn't find the story, and it was obvious that she blocked me. So who did she say that in the circle of friends? "

11, after becoming an Internet celebrity, my wife, who became vain, hated my domestic car and ran away with a rich second generation who drove a Ferrari. After being single for a few days, relatives introduced me to an object. When I went on a blind date at her house, my father asked me directly: Do you have a car or a house? I said: Uncle, now I only have a car, but in the near future there will definitely be a house, I don't want to use my parents' money to enjoy, these things must be obtained with their own efforts, in order to be solid! Then, I married this girl, and after marriage, my daughter-in-law told me that her father took a fancy to me and had a thick skin, although poor, but the reason was good!

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