1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "This is the end of the matter, if you want to kill, you will be cut down, and you will not say anything."

1. A woman was caught by her husband on the spot, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: "What did you say before you died?" She said, "It's over, if you want to kill, you have to be slashed, and you, the untrustworthy person, have nothing to say." Husband: "When did I stop talking?" Wife: "Didn't you say you wouldn't come back today?" ”

2. I like a girl in the class, and I call her every day. Every time the other person always hears a woman's voice: Hello! The user you dialed is turned off, please dial later. One day, I drank a little, and at night I called again, and I said: I am looking for beauty! The other party: Hello, the user you dialed... I was in a hurry, scolding: less nonsense, quickly call Meimei to answer the phone! Other: Oh, okay, you wait.?

3. Colleague Xiao Li likes to manage money and is also good at matching other colleagues to fall in love! Even privately writing love letters for male and female colleagues who were not very interesting really let him put together several pairs. I was curious, so I asked him: "You are still single, why do you bother to help others introduce people?" Xiao Li took a sip of his cigarette and said, "Stupid! That way you don't have to send two pieces of money! ”

4. My son is 6 years old and has just entered the first grade of primary school. At dinner today, I said to my son, "It's going to be my birthday soon, what are you going to send me?" The son said: "Mom, don't make trouble, I'm only 6 years old, I don't have any money at all!" I was a little displeased: "You little bunny cub, I raised you so big in vain." The son replied, "Oh, old rabbit, I'll go to the kitchen and get you a carrot, shall I?"?" ”

5, the wife said that there are no daily necessities at home, we went to RT-Mart to buy after eating. We walked into RT-Mart and my wife walked in front of me. Suddenly, two hundred dollars fell from my wife's pocket, and I saw that I immediately picked it up and put it in my own pocket. The next day, my wife asked me to buy an 800 yuan microwave oven and only gave me six hundred yuan. I said: Wife, this money is not enough to buy a microwave oven, ah, to 800 yuan! Wife: Didn't you pick up two hundred from me yesterday? Alas, my heart is so bitter!

6. The father-in-law is a big dog owner, and he spent 150,000 yuan to collect a purebred Tibetan mastiff. As a result, the dog was particularly fierce, biting the father-in-law into a cripple, and the owner of the dog sold the dog lost 1.3 million yuan. When the mother-in-law got the money, she divorced her father-in-law and held a wedding with a handsome man who was 30 years younger than herself. After the marriage, the mother-in-law gave birth to twins, and on that occasion, the eldest son and the younger son planned to take the money in the drawer to buy snacks to eat. As a result, the next day, the East Window Incident occurred, and the mother-in-law was particularly angry at that time, asking the children to recreate the scene when they took the money. So the eldest son said to the younger son: Or let's take the money to buy snacks. The younger son sneered and said: Brother, is it wrong for you to do this!?

7, and husband after marriage to Sanya honeymoon, husband bought two train tickets far away, husband sat next to a very ugly man. I wanted to sit with my husband, so I politely asked: Handsome man, can we change the seat? The man was very excited and asked: What do you say? Me: Can we change our seats? Man: Not this sentence, the previous sentence. Me: Handsome guy... The man immediately stood up and said: Please!

8, the wife is a sister of a live broadcast platform, I originally brushed her 80,000 yuan gift before marrying home. After marriage, I found out that she spent a lot of money, I couldn't afford to raise her, and we divorced. Later, the family asked the matchmaker to introduce me to a girlfriend, and specifically told me that she was special and thrifty. Today I finally saw it, I took her to dinner today, after eating I smoked a cigarette, she silently took the cigarette butt and put it in the bag. Curious to ask her why, she said, "Collect your cigarette butts from now on and make you a quilt with the cotton in them at the end of the year." "At that time, I knelt down, and there are not many good women who are so diligent and thrifty!?"

9. The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, I found that his parents seemed to be dissatisfied with me. I thought that I was going to be yellow anyway, and I couldn't come in vain, and at noon I tore a pot of pork head meat cooked by his house and dried it up. On the way back, I looked at my boyfriend sadly and said: Let's break up. He looked surprised: Why? Our mother has a crush on you! Saying that we hate her craftsmanship for so many years, no one has ever been able to eat her stewed meat so fragrant, such a non-picky daughter-in-law ugly is ugly, admit it!?

10, I was wearing makeup, the little niece ran to me: Aunt, I also want to wear makeup. Me: Little girl, what makeup do you put on?? Little niece: Aunt, there is a boy in our class... I was surprised: I was only in the first grade, and I had a boyfriend?? Are you trying to look better and make him like you more? Little Niece: No, he's so annoying, I'm going to put on makeup like you and scare him to death!! I......

11. Cleaned up a dance room at home, and was seen by my in-laws when I was practicing pole dancing! The mother-in-law said: "Daughter-in-law, I also want to lose weight, can I learn pole dancing with you?" Before I could speak, my father-in-law said, "I'll check the Internet first!" "I approached my father-in-law and saw him typing in his mobile phone, can the pole dance of steel pipes withstand 180 pounds of weight? Then I was looking: How much does it cost to break one?

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