1. On the train, there is a male passenger lying on the upper bunk and a female passenger lying on the lower bunk, and the two do not know each other. At this time, the male passenger said to the female passenger, help me get a towel from the bag under the bed. Female riders

1. On the train, there is a male passenger lying on the upper bunk and a female passenger lying on the lower bunk, and the two do not know each other. At this time, the male passenger said to the female passenger, help me get a towel from the bag under the bed. The female passenger smiled mysteriously and said, Let's pretend to be husband and wife! Male passengers' eyes lit up when they heard it, how to dress up as a husband and wife? Then the woman said out loud, bastard, you won't get it yourself...

2. The sister-in-law is the school flower of the Shanghai Theater Academy and has a rich and handsome boyfriend. Today is the day she and her boyfriend are engaged, and the brother-in-law hopes to make a good impression on her fiancé's relatives and friends. Only to see her dignified out, smiling and entertaining the distinguished guests, accidentally stumbled on the foot of the table and fell on all fours to the sky. The sister-in-law's fiancé was anxious and wanted to help her forward. I saw my sister-in-law calmly say, "Gentlemen and ladies, how about the martial arts I am performing for you?" ”?

3. The physical examination report of the friend's son came out, and it was actually O blood. The friend was very angry and had a big fight with his wife: Why are we both AB blood, but our son is O blood? The friend's wife still did not admit it, and after a fight with the friend, she returned to her mother's house. The friend thought to himself: Go back to your mother's house, don't come back in this life! Who knew that early this morning, my friend's wife ran back in ashes. She sat down on the couch and muttered, "Oh! Or is it better to be in your own home and not have to wash clothes and cook every day!?"

4. Since I beat the boss's son in the company, the boss always let me go to other places for business trips, ten days and half a month at a time. When I went to catch the plane in the morning, the staff was stunned not to let me into the airport, saying that I did not match my ID card. I replied: Yes, I admit that I have done plastic surgery, but it has not changed much! As a result, the staff said: you are not plastic surgery, you are transgender! I was confused, took the ID card and looked at it: I'm god, it's my wife's! "

5, I am a fitness coach, the strength is relatively large, as soon as I come home, my mother-in-law will take me as a cow! On this day, my mother-in-law asked me to go with her to buy peanut oil, and when I left the supermarket door, I carried four barrels of oil, feeling that I was getting heavier and heavier, and my steps were getting slower and slower. My mother-in-law said to me, "Look at you, are you worthy of your fitness coaching profession?" I said, "That's different, I'll take it home and you'll give me a gold medal?" The mother-in-law smiled and said, "Of course, at noon, our family eats pancakes, and I will fry yellow for you." ”

6. The old man danced square dance with Aunt Wang next door, and was seen by the mother-in-law who came back from buying vegetables. As soon as the old man entered the house, the mother-in-law went up and scolded him. After the brother-in-law saw it, he also stretched out his small fist and hit the old man. The old man said grievously: Why did you beat me and not your mother? The brother-in-law righteously said: Mom is a mother, but I don't know if your father is a parent!

7. After living with the female ticket, she designated the house as a non-smoking area, and I could only smoke on the balcony. Once when it was stormy outside the house, I was addicted to smoking, and I hesitated to take the cigarette and lighter to the balcony. Just arrived at the balcony I saw uncle Liu next door also swallowing clouds and spitting fog on his balcony, is it still wiping the rain on his face with his hands, the Mediterranean hairstyle is already messy, and the green silk is blown straight like an antenna by the wind. I didn't say hello to him, he didn't say hello to me, we both smoked separately, and at that moment, we both felt like we had a sharp mind.

8. I am the school flower of our Shandong Sports Academy, and I am pursued by the rich second generation of the basketball department. After my father knew, he felt that the men's basketball team had no future, and he did not agree with our love affair. This was the first time I came to my house with my boyfriend, and we both walked in the door together and tuo shoes. My dad held his breath and said: Boy, just rush this smell is the same as my girlfriend, people you take away!! "

9, the husband passed the overpass a few days ago after work, saved a beautiful woman who wanted to take her own life, did not expect that she was the only daughter of the real estate predator. In order to show gratitude, the real estate developer gave her husband a check for 20 million yuan as a gift. My husband was very excited, let me go to school bus, said to give me a Maserati. Today I went to drive the school bus, and I was scolded by the coach again. After stopping the car, the coach said with a frightened face: "I have seen a tree hit, a tooth on the road, a reverse pit, I have never seen a steering wheel belt step on the accelerator, you are the opposite driving school sent to our undercover, right?" ”

10. Buying clothes in the commercial street, I met Fa Xiao and his wife. I asked: How was the hospital you went to last month to treat amnesia? Fa Xiao replied: Very good, the doctor taught me a set of memory methods, very effective, I am now very different from before! I asked: What's the name of that hospital? Fa Xiao couldn't remember anything, and suddenly he slapped his head on the door and asked: What is the name of that kind of flower with many thorns? I asked doubtfully: You mean roses? Fa Xiao: Yes, it's a rose! After saying that, Fa Xiao turned to Madame and asked: Rose, you tell me, what is the name of the hospital I went to last month?

11. In the morning, Xiao Hu asked the boss for leave: "Boss, I have to go to work late today, and there is a little trouble at home." Boss: "What's the trouble?" Xiao Hu: "My wife lost 200 yuan, she is looking for it." Boss: "She's looking for her, and it still affects you to work?" Xiao Hu: "No, that... The money was at my feet. ”

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