1, the brother complained to us that now the old man is really too difficult to please, asked him what is wrong, the brother said that the daughter-in-law is afraid of the father's idleness, so he asked the brother to rent him a little land and let him plant a kind of onion and ginger

1, the brother complained to us that now the old man is really too difficult to please, asked him what is wrong, the brother said that the daughter-in-law is afraid of the father's idleness, so he asked the brother to rent him a little land, let him plant a kind of onion, ginger and garlic seedlings and other such time, the brother quickly did it, the result of the old man was still angry, we all followed the fierce sympathy of the brother Later, we learned that the brother rented thirty acres of paddy fields to the sixty-something old lady. Uncle Was sitting on the edge of the field, his thoughts were very chaotic.

2. On the execution ground, preparing to carry out the death penalty, judge: "There is still one last sentence, if you have anything to say, hurry up." Corrupt official: "That's it." Judge: "Just one sentence, sorry people and so on, don't say it, I'm waiting to go home and cook there." Corrupt official: "Well, when you go back, take Louis XIII, who is hiding in my closet, and drink it." Judge: "Yo, if you want to drink Louis XIII, I can go back and get it, and when you are finished drinking, you will be sentenced." Corrupt official: "Come on, and drink Louis XIII, I am about to become Louis XIVI." ”

3, a sentence to prove your gender, can not mention the male and female brothers and sisters and other titles of the word, and each floor of the reply can not be the same, that is to say, the 2nd floor said, the 3rd floor can not be plagiarized, and so on... For example: a creature that bleeds for seven days without dying!

4, the company was recently in maintenance, so it put three days off, so I returned to my long-lost hometown. As soon as dad heard that I had come back, he added food, and he was very touched after being busy in the kitchen. I don't want Dad to be too tired to scramble for stir-frying, Dad asked, will you sauerkraut fish, roast chicken, sweet and sour ribs. I immediately said yes, so I quietly went back to the room and asked my wife how to make these dishes? Fortunately, as soon as I was smart, I would be praised by my father after cooking. If I hadn't seen my dog spit out all the dishes in my mouth, I almost said I would be a chef.

5, the girlfriend got on the bus yesterday to find one, and as a result, just two stops on the side of an old grandmother standing next to her. She was just about to get up and give way, when the grandmother stopped her: "You sit, you are tired after a day's work." "The girlfriend felt incredibly warm. Unexpectedly, the grandmother continued: "Save you from having to go back and scold me on the Internet." ”

6, last month, my boyfriend was sick and hospitalized, I was half hugging him for a walk, tired I was sweaty, to his ex-girlfriend to see, the husband was proud and moved: "The next time you are inconvenient, I will also carry you, not too tired!" "I had a sprained foot the other day and had to move slowly. My boyfriend told me to wait for him to pick me up after work, so I happily refused my colleague's hitchhiking, full of expectations waiting for my husband, he asked me for credit and said: "Daughter-in-law, you see, this crutch I specially chose, the handle has a mandarin duck splash pattern, try to be comfortable, right?" ”

7, since the wife went to work in the company, often with their boss on business. Several times I didn't feel right and embarrassed to speak. Today my wife is not there, I have to pick up my son, but also cook, almost exhausted. After eating, he said to his son: "Baby, you brush the bowl, Daddy will be tired!" The son said silently: "Daddy, or you brush it, our family can't tire out two men at the same time!" ”

8, the sister-in-law suddenly asked me: "Brother, are you all wooden people after 70?" "I said how can you have such a strange idea?" The sister-in-law breathlessly said that I was a petite at home, saying that I was tired today. The normal reaction is not to give me a pinch on the shoulder or something. He said I was tired too. I said, "Men are really tired when they are working outside, there is nothing wrong with it." The sister-in-law glanced at me and said, I am really tired today. I said, I'm tired too. The sister-in-law said: "Brother, it turns out that you are really wooden people after 70, and your emotional intelligence is too low." I sneered darkly, what kind of cattle do you have after 00."

9, there is no TV at home that will, I always stand in front of other people's homes to watch cartoons, my mother looks in the eyes, and finally one day she discussed with her father: "How tired is my son standing in front of other people's homes all day watching TV!" No matter how bitter you are, you can't be bitter children! "I'm so excited to hear that!" The mother then said, "Why don't you help your son buy a small plastic stool?" Lightweight and easy to carry!

10, others have, we do not have to envy, as long as the effort, we will also have, when we also have, do not show off, others are working hard, sooner or later will also have, every day to laugh happily, tired to sleep, wake up to laugh, life should be so easy.

11. Since opening a hot pot restaurant with 3 million sponsored by the old man, he is busy to death every day. When I came back from work in the evening, my wife saw me and smiled and asked me if I was tired. I collapsed on the couch and said, "A little tired!" My wife listened and put her arms around me and asked: Hungry or not? I nodded: Starving! The wife suddenly smiled and said softly: Then you can quickly cook after a while!

12, take the children to the Happy Valley Water Park to play, enjoy the joy of playing with the water, but I burned my feet! There are too many people in Happy Valley on weekends, like dumplings, most of the entertainment projects have to queue up, stand tired, and then sit in the fai or boat, on the curved passage, turning and falling, the whole meat and eight vegetarian, this is not spending money to buy guilt? I asked my wife to line up with the kids, I went to the locker room to get a cigarette, smoked two beautifully in the smoking area, and finally crushed the cigarette butt with my foot. The soles of my feet were in severe pain, and I finally remembered the fact that I could not wear slippers when entering the water park.

13, the teacher in the endless lecture, dragged the hall for a long time Xiaoming: "Teacher, asked you a question, my family has a tire, very heavy, how to get out?" Teacher: "Get out" Xiaoming: "Okay! After saying that, Xiaoming walked out of the classroom...

14, I have always fantasized about a scene: my husband was raised by a rich woman, the rich woman found me, a check smashed in my face, said: "This is twenty million, leave your husband!" I picked up the check: "Okay! Next time there is a husband to sell you! ”