Last night, the wife accompanied her sister-in-law on a blind date, and this time she failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date. Originally

Last night, the wife accompanied her sister-in-law on a blind date, and this time she failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date. It turned out that the man hated that the sister-in-law was too beautiful and had a good figure, and he was worried that one day the grass would be green on his head. "Alas..." My wife sighed, looked at me and said, "Now what is this world, even pigs have begun to be picky eaters, is it that the cabbage that has been raised for more than twenty years has been smashed in the hand?" ”

2. During the work of Wanda Group, I met a rich second-generation boyfriend while idle and playing dating software. Not long after we met, he gave me a Porsche. My brother once took her boyfriend home, my mother stewed chicken stewed mushrooms, my father has been complaining that it is too salty, my mother is very angry and says it is not salty. The two people quarreled more and more fiercely, and suddenly the mother turned to me and asked: Daughter, do you say salty or not? I looked at my head and could only apologize to my boyfriend: You say salty or not salty? A table of us all looked at him, and my boyfriend laughed and said: A little spicy!

3. The husband is an executive of the GreenLand Group, and the monthly salary of 200,000 is not a problem. On the day of the paycheck, he bought a case of good wine and then called his brothers over to the house for a drink. In the end, my husband drank a little too much, and he began to yell at me, and accidentally got the chopsticks on the ground. Husband: Little chick, pick up the chopsticks for grandpa! I glared at him fiercely, and my husband smiled twice: Don't pick it up? Don't pick up the little master myself!

4. I have a problem when I sleep, that is, I can't have a little light, otherwise I will lose sleep. The last time I traveled to live in a room with a colleague, he sat on the window with the light on most of the night to polish his shoes. I asked him: Do you know a trick to make your shoes instantly black? My colleague shook his head, so I snapped the light off, and in an instant the room was dark!

5. My husband was sick, he had just undergone surgery, and he had to eat dumplings stuffed with shrimp, so I had to go to the supermarket and buy kiwi shrimp. When I got home, I instructed my husband to peel the shrimp, and I rolled out the dumpling skin while chatting with my husband. I said: "Husband, next time don't eat shrimp dumplings, it's not cost-effective, such a big shrimp shell to pinch the head and tail, there is still a little left, and dozens of pieces of a pound, too expensive!" The husband said: "Oh, that's far worse than you!" You eat and sleep at home every day, hum a few times every night, and I will give you all my salary of more than 10,000 yuan a month! ”

6. After the abbot returned to the customs, he found a job from the Wanda Group. A few days ago, the boss asked the abbot to go to the headquarters on a business trip to study. When he returned home from work in the evening, the abbot told the nun the good news. The nun immediately said: Your boss really has a pair of eyes and knows how to appreciate your advantages! The abbot smiled and said: What advantages do I have, originally the boss was ready to send others to go, and then the suspects worked too fast and were not careful enough, so they decided to let me go. The nun nodded: "Yes, this is your advantage, always half a beat slower than others!"

7. When I came home from work, there was water on the road, and I saw an old uncle with a four- or five-year-old granddaughter, and when a big aunt went around the water, she accidentally fell! The uncle pulled it by the hand, and the little girl shouted, "Grandpa, I'll tell Grandma when I get home that you're pulling someone else's old lady's hand outside!" hum! "Passers-by were amused! The uncle looked frightened, and was actually frightened by this little girl's piece!

8. I remember when I was in college, there was a strange classmate in the dormitory who liked to eat stinky tofu. And it was the kind of gray-black bottle, particularly smelly, and once he ate in his dormitory. Open doors for ventilation. Just when the student union came to check the hygiene of the dormitory, they shouted: "Which dormitory toilet is blocked?" Hurry up and call to find the floor manager, and be in the mood to eat! ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #