When it comes to the word marriage, young people will feel that this is two people who love each other living together and living happily together.
For everyone, it is natural to hope that their marriage is so simple and beautiful. However, only those who have truly experienced marriage will understand that marriage is not as simple as everyone seems to be, nor is it as happy as we think.
Before we get into marriage, we have to be ready. Even if you marry someone who loves you very much, maybe one day in the future, he won't love you. The happy life you think you have will come to an abrupt end at some stage.
If love is gone, will marriage stop? Of course not.
Romain Rolland said, "You don't have to force love, you have to be responsible for marriage." ”
When in love, the most important thing for two people to be together is to have a feeling of love, so that the relationship can continue to develop. But marriage is different, since you choose to marry a person, even if one day there is no feeling of love, it cannot be said that the end will end.
Responsibility is very important in marriage. Choosing marriage is equivalent to choosing the responsibilities of a family.
For many women, in fact, marriage has reached middle age, and what they want most is no longer love.
Xu Fang is 43 years old this year, and at this age, she has also seen many things. I remember a few years ago, when she felt that her husband didn't seem to love her so much, she felt panicked and afraid that her marriage had come to an end. I remember when they got married, they said to each other affectionately: "I will spend the rest of my life with you."
I didn't expect that the marriage was only ten years old, and those promises had long since become a joke. Now after a few years, for Xu Fang, she suddenly saw through many things and no longer insisted on love. All she wants now, she says.
01 Responsibilities and Obligations in Marriage.
Xu Fang said that in marriage, the most important thing is that men must have a sense of responsibility and know what they must do in marriage.
A friend of hers had been married to her husband for more than a decade, but their marriage was particularly bad. Her friends were a few years older than her husband, so when they first started together, it was all because of love. Although the husband was not very mature at that time, for the sake of love, the friend still chose to get married.
Only a few years after marriage, friends can clearly see the true face of their husbands. He often says some nice words on his lips, but he has never done it in action, and after marriage, he has no sense of responsibility, and he always evades and shirks his responsibility when encountering things.
Friends thought about divorce, but looking at their young children, they still couldn't bear it. For so many years, friends have suffered all kinds of grievances and just want to raise their children well.
Xu Fang has always felt that when two people get married, the most important thing is that they must have a sense of responsibility, assume all the obligations of this family, and do what they should do.
02 Minimum respect between husband and wife.
If you want to maintain a marriage, the most important thing is that the relationship between husband and wife must be balanced. Only an equal husband and wife relationship can stand on the same level and have the right to run this home and let this family have a better future.
Some people do not realize this at all in marriage, and always feel that they should be the head of the family, and the other party should listen to their own arrangements, and they should also listen to their own opinions when encountering things.
This kind of person who is always self-centered is difficult to balance the relationship between husband and wife. Even if the marriage can continue forever, it is maintained by a person's grievances and bottomless tolerance. Such marriages are unequal and unhappy.
Yang Dai said: "At first, I pretended to be strong, and then I was really strong." ”
If you don't get the minimum respect in your marriage, you will become very fragile at first, and then you will slowly become stronger. And this strength will not make the marriage happy, it will only make you more lonely, and you will not need this marriage.
A harmonious marriage, husband and wife should achieve the minimum respect, such a marriage can better continue.
03 The three views between husband and wife should be consistent.
Sanmao said: "I believe that people who really care about me will not be taken away by others, whether it is friendship or love. ”
After having a marriage, whether there is still love between husband and wife, we hope that this marriage can be more solid, whether it is because of love or because of family affection.
How can I protect my marriage? I think the minimum point is that the three views between husband and wife must be consistent, and they can have the same point of view, the same opinion, and the same decision when encountering things.
Even if there is no love, as long as the three views are consistent, the husband and wife can avoid a lot of contradictions and disputes, the feelings will not be greatly affected, and life can continue well.
In many marriages, what makes people tired is not the hard work of life, but the inability of husband and wife to work together, always have disputes when encountering things, intensify contradictions, and finally make each other more and more tired, and the marriage is becoming more and more unstable.
Xu Fang said that in middle age, in fact, whether there is love between husband and wife is not so important, time will change, love will also change. But whatever, all she wants is these things, and as long as she has them, the marriage can still go on well.
There is a saying in "Baiwei Life Needs Hundred Enlightenment": Aging does not start from middle age, but starts from boredom with life.
Marriage, even in middle age, should not give up on itself, thinking that life should continue like this unfortunately. Whether a person is young or not is not really about age, but about their own mentality.
As long as you have a good attitude, life can go on smoothly.