Whether in love or marriage, unfounded suspicion is the enemy of marriage, which makes people find trouble for themselves and even leads to the breakdown of the feelings of both parties. Many people know the stakes but cannot get out of this quagmire of suspicion, thus causing both sides to suffer.
Everyone hopes to find a lover who likes each other and has a happy marriage, but not everyone can get what they want, you know, love is easy to get along with, and married life is also a science, an art. If you want to become a husband and wife for a lifetime, you need to respect and love each other and trust each other.
First, the girlfriend is only in love, and does not talk about marriage to make men suspicious
Xiao Yue from Zhengzhou and his girlfriend Xiao Tan have been in love for more than a year, he proposed the idea of marriage to his girlfriend, and the wedding photos were set, but the girlfriend repented. This made Xiaoyue very angry, he thought that his girlfriend only wanted to fall in love with him and did not want to get married. Because of the marriage, the two also had an argument, and he beat his girlfriend and alarmed the police station. Xiao Yue said that maybe he was too anxious, his girlfriend did not say that next year is the year after, so he really does not know what to do.
There is a saying: marriage is too impatient, idle will be troublesome. Marriage is a matter for two people, and if one of them does not want to get married, there must be a reason not to want to get married.
Xiao Tan said that at that time, Xiao Yue asked to get married, she felt that it was not appropriate, and wanted to run into it for a while, but Xiao Yue could not wait, and began to mess with her, not only scolding her for being a scumbag, but also scolding her for being with him in order to meet her own physiological requirements, which made her really unbearable.
In order to get married, to quarrel, break up or even call the police, this is really not like the attitude of living with each other for a lifetime, and calling the other party a scumbag is indeed a bit excessive. To know the scum, in layman's terms, it is a person who violates the basic principles in terms of feelings (men and women), does not take the feelings seriously, and plays with the feelings of the other party call it scum.
Xiao Yue explained that he thought his girlfriend's scum was because his girlfriend was hot and cold to him, making him feel that there was someone outside her and did not love him as a person. This explanation is too far-fetched, to know that when you characterize the other party, you must be based on facts, if there is no real evidence to arbitrarily convict others, it is extremely disrespectful to the girlfriend, but also an irresponsible behavior.
It turned out that Xiao Yue worked in Zhongmu, and when the two lived together, he went to work in the morning and came back in the evening, and if he didn't contact his girlfriend every four or five days, Xiao Tan would never contact him. This made him suspect that his girlfriend did not love him at all.
Speaking of this, Xiao Tan is also full of resentment, the boyfriend's speculation about her makes her very disgusted, sometimes Xiao Yue will not let her sleep in the middle of the night, ask this and ask that, doubt her every day, if she goes home to get something in the middle, he will say "I see your underwear today, and yesterday is not the same", which makes her very broken.
After listening to the descriptions of both sides, I probably know the reason why my girlfriend is reluctant to marry him, and if a man is too suspicious, he will not be happy even if he is married. Some lovers often have suspicion in life, and an important reason is that the subjective conjecture in the thinking method is too strong, and the negative self-suggestion in psychology is strengthened without any basis.
You know, when people are suspicious, it is easy to be dominated by closed ideas, and there will be a phenomenon of uncontrolled emotions, just like XiaoYue, because the girlfriend needs to run into each other for a period of time and then get married, he thinks that the girlfriend does not love him, and there are people outside.
It can be seen that suspicion is a bad psychological quality, such people are usually narrow and selfish, extremely unconfident, particularly sensitive to people and things, easy to form a mindset, they regard imaginary targets as imaginary enemies, can not get out of the strange circle of self-limitation, thus becoming a pathology.
Second, there is a gap in age and education between the two sides, and communication has become a big problem
For her boyfriend's distrust and suspicion, Xiao Tan said his grievances. It turned out that she had a failed marriage, she was married at the age of 31, but she was married for a year but divorced, because the marriage was relatively hasty at that time, and she felt that it was inappropriate after having children.
So for so many years she lived alone with her children, she herself opened a beauty shop, and there was no intersection with other men in her life, and she also handled things by herself, so she developed an independent personality. In the eyes of outsiders, she is a strong woman, even if she and Xiaoyue are in love for a year, no matter what happens, she does not have any dependence.
Two years ago, Xiao Tan was introduced to Xiao Yue, and at that time she was touched by Xiao Yue's sincerity. At that time, when the customer introduced her, she heard that Xiaoyue was six years younger than herself and felt inappropriate, but Xiaoyue was more attentive and called her every day to send messages to express concern, which made her feel particularly warm.
She thinks she has finally met the right person, although Xiaoyue is divorced and has a three-year-old son, but Xiao Tan does not care. She proposed to take Xiaoyue's son from his hometown to Zhengzhou, and treated her boyfriend's son as her own, she took care of the business in the store, took care of the two children at the same time, and arranged the time to be full, but even so, the boyfriend was still uneasy about him.
However, in the process of getting along between the two, Xiao Tan found the generation gap between the two, first of all, there is an age gap, because she is six years older than Xiao Yue, plus there is also a gap in the academic qualifications of the two, Xiao Tan is a junior college, and Xiao Yue has not even graduated from primary school. Sometimes after saying it deeply, I am afraid of hurting Xiao Yue's self-esteem. Secondly, she feels that two people are together, and when she says too much, there is really a bigger disagreement, so sometimes she is reluctant to say more. But for the sake of the two people's feelings, Xiao Tan tried to overcome these problems, but her boyfriend's behavior made her completely disappointed.
Xiao Tan said that during their love affair, Xiao Yue also talked about other women. This was a bit surprising, but Xiao Yue admitted it bluntly.
Xiao Yue said that at that time, he was indeed introduced by others and knew a 34-year-old girl who had never been married, who had no job and was a demolition household. The two only talked for nine days before they separated, for this unsustainable relationship, Xiao Yue said that he still couldn't let go of Xiao Tan in his heart, and said that the girl didn't have a career for Xiao Tan.
When the mediator asked rhetorically: Then doesn't she have time to accompany you? She can focus on you. Xiao Yue said, that's not okay, then I feel like I'm around me every day, and I have to work too.
Listening to it is really infuriating, knowing that he and Xiao Tan did not break up, but with another girl to talk about love, when found that the other party has no career, and then turned back to Xiao Tan to marry, it seems that there is no comparison and no harm is really good, the so-called scumbag is not his kind of unfaithful to love, half-hearted, pedaling two boats of people? What kind of face does it have to scold Xiao Tan as a scumbag?
It is true that "the tree will die without bark, and the man will not face the world invincible." A man can do this, it is really speechless, a man without a bottom line, how to talk about love and dignity?
Everyone makes mistakes, but they can't deal with love and marriage, because there are so many betrayals and infidelities in this society that there are so many failed marriages. And Xiao Yue, because he had a failed relationship, he wanted a home too much, but his strength made the wrong place, did not understand the needs of his girlfriend, and only asked each other according to his own psychological goals, thus doing a lot of things to hurt his girlfriend.
Xiao Yue also realized his mistake, he took the initiative to apologize to his girlfriend, saying that he would become the back of Xiao Tan in the future, but Xiao Tan did not approve, in her opinion, Xiao Yue had said this kind of thing too many times before, the country is easy to change, the nature is difficult to move, she wants to end this relationship, and she does not want Xiao Yue to entangle and harass her in the future.
Hearing his girlfriend say this, Xiao Yue was angry, and he casually took out a few pieces of paper and said that this was a bill, and printed out all the more than 210,000 yuan he had given Xiao Tan this year. Xiao Tan explained that she did not spend so much money on him, she did not deny that Xiao Yue had spent money on her, in addition to the money that the two people transferred to each other, including Xiao Yue's children going to school here, including renting a house, after deducting this money, she also owed him eighty thousand, she thought that the two had been talking for such a long time, she would give Xiao Yue an IOU of fifty thousand yuan first, and then give him when she had money.
Xiao Yue was even more angry when she heard it, and he said that the child's schooling was Xiao Tan's money, and the rent money was her own consumption money, and could not be mixed with the money in the bill. And he also demanded that Xiao Tan return the watch, bracelet, and IOU he had given her. Hearing this, Xiao Tan immediately turned his face and said, "No, I threw it."
It is said that love is not a love intention, leaving a line of life, and seeing each other in the future. But the two of them turned their faces faster than they could turn books. Since we want to separate, we must divide it thoroughly, and before separating, we must also clearly divide the previous money, which is the style of a gentleman.
Under the persuasion of the mediator, Xiao Tan promised to return the bracelet and watch sent by Xiao Yue to Xiao Yue, and the 50,000 yuan, she will return to Xiao Yue in installments, and she also hopes that Xiao Yue will not disturb her life from now on. But when Xiao Yue heard it, he only said one sentence that I chose to prosecute legally and then turned around and left.
Sentiment Analysis:
1, mutually calculated love is not far away
Seeing that the two finally broke up unhappily, and fortunately, the two ended the relationship, which was surprising that Xiao Yue actually printed out all the bills between the two, which was really unexpected. They all said that the breakup saw the character, it was really good, and from the two of them, we saw the ugly face of the lover after the failure.
Some people say that when you are in love, you are thick and thick, and it is the moment of breakup that you are most popular. There is a lyric that once sang: Break up should be decent, no one should say sorry, how to owe, I dare to give dare to heartbreak.
One carefully calculated every penny so finely, and the other took the money but did not want to dwell on it anymore, but the retreat was not complete. Therefore, both of them have problems, Xiao Tan also has her own selfishness, unwilling to return gifts and money, she only according to her ideal amount to convert it will definitely not work. And Xiao Yue is also very unspondent, although it is necessary to calculate the account clearly when breaking up, but what sweet and happy feelings can there be in such a calculated love, and the breakup is also reasonable.
2, betrayal of feelings are forgiven, do not rule out because of money reasons
Some people say that true love is single-minded, love has a field is very narrow, it is narrow enough to accommodate the survival of two people, if you fall in love with several people at the same time, it can not be called stealing, it is just an emotional game.
If you want to know whether a couple is deeply affectionate or if the feelings have lit up red, just observe the expression and tone of their conversation. If any of them give each other blank eyes, sneers, or makes sarcastic remarks at every turn, it can be declared that their relationship is unlikely to last long. If one person is always condescending to another, it means that there is a lack of the most basic respect between them.
Xiao Yue openly interacted with other girls during the love period between the two, which was not only immoral but also extremely disrespectful to Xiao Tan. It is said that love is a kind of tolerance and grace, and it cannot be treated with suspicion and doubt. In this matter, Xiao Tan tolerated Xiao Yue's fault, which does not mean that she is right, as the saying goes, a good horse does not eat back grass. The person who betrays his feelings without getting married cannot be forgiven, and in my opinion, she can easily forgive and accept him, not excluding that it is for financial reasons.
3, the gap between the two sides is too large, separation is the best choice
People often say: "Only by knowing what we look like can we not doubt each other; only by not doubting each other can we know each other." In love life, only by being open and open can we trust each other. What is lacking between the two of them is trust, and because of Xiao Tan's strong personality, the gap between the two sides in age and education is too large, resulting in the inability to communicate, resulting in more and more estrangement.
When a person no longer shares the trivialities and troubles of life and work with close people, it means that she has closed her heart, because she cannot integrate and can only hesitate in the midst of gain and loss, so Xiao Tan has repeatedly postponed the marriage. This point, she is not honest enough, do not love is not love, at the beginning of the know that the two are not suitable in all aspects, but also forced together, both are victims, so separation is the best choice.