Love is like drinking water cold and warm self-knowledge, some people can harvest good in marriage, and some people are miserable in marriage, obviously have the most intimate relationship in the world, but do not know why. The two people are like enemies, except for quarrels or quarrels.
We can't help but start to suspect that the person we chose unswervingly is not our own good person, and we should find a 100% matching talent.
In fact, no one is born to be what you want to be, and the good marriages we can see are actually a result of careful management, an effect that is constantly run-in.
Therefore, in the relationship between the sexes, a good husband and wife relationship is often "ground".
Marriage is never the end of a relationship
A good marriage has never been glued and sticky, it is a husband and wife who depend on each other, but can be independent of each other.
As the Desperate Housewife writes, "Have you ever seen a perfect couple in this world, a true soul mate, without jealousy and anger?" I know a couple, two little people on the wedding cake. Because they never have to face each other. ”
Many times, those seemingly unhappy marriages actually stem from the problem that they all regard marriage as the end of love.
So I began to slacken off, thinking that this was a once and for all thing, not knowing that marriage is like a flower, which needs to be irrigated from time to time, otherwise it will wither.
We should understand that marriage is never the end of love, it is just one of the big stops of the love train.
There will be many stops on this road, and we can't just pass through one stop, so marriage is for us, we decided to buy tickets on this stop, and whether the next two people can sit all the way to the end is an unknown.
The key is how to treat each other, how to operate,
Marriage has always been mutual, one pampered and the other pampered, so the pampered person should not sit back and relax.
Always keep each other in love, then the long confession of marriage will be maintained a little longer and longer.
A good marriage cannot be separated from seeking common ground while reserving differences
01), the host Dou Wentao in the "Round Table Party", when talking about the marriage relationship, once said: "The most terrible thing about marriage is not the difference in income between the two people, but that they are living together, but the distance is getting farther and farther." ”
Why do two people who have the most intimate relationship in the world drift apart?
The fundamental reason is that couples do not manage love well, they are all self-centered, never consider each other's feelings, ask each other to respect and cater to their own preferences, and cannot tolerate the existence of differences between each other.
For a marriage, the secret of its success is not at all in resolving conflicts, but in the usual relationship and devilish details, and this so-called detail is the attitude of husband and wife about the differences between each other.
02), so, what should a good relationship look like?
A good relationship between husband and wife should be like a diamond, everyone has their own independent and complete appearance, and has a biggest aspect of their own.
This section is absolutely smooth, and when they are with each other, they can fit together with each other's slice to the greatest extent, so that the two people seem to be one, but in fact they are independent of each other and remain separated.
We are an independent individual before we meet each other, there must be differences, it is fate that brings us together, so it is reasonable that there are differences in marriage.
And what we need to do is respect each other's differences, in a relationship between the sexes, appreciating that they are similar to each other is to increase income, and accepting that they are different from each other is to save money.
A happy marriage is inseparable from mutual tolerance
There is a couple, men are not spicy, women taste light, so when women cook, they will deliberately add more peppers, and then put a glass of water when they eat, and when they eat, they will shabu.
The man knows the list of women's tastes, so he will put a plate of garlic sauce in front of him when eating, and eat it.
Husband and wife both think about each other, both consider each other's different habits, do not force each other to cater to themselves, do not let themselves cater to each other, but choose to tolerate such differences, so that their feelings can be as beautiful as they have been for decades.
Yi Shu wrote in "The Only Woman": "Marriage is basically such a thing, and the sensation of falling in love after three or five years will disappear." ”
Then, when the vigorous is flat, how to go the next way, in fact, it depends on mutual tolerance.
All seemingly beautiful marriages have actually experienced countless quarrels, bitten and bruises, and even had the idea of divorce, but in the end they continued to embrace each other because of mutual tolerance.
Therefore, a good husband and wife relationship is often "grinded" out, and a happy marriage is inseparable from mutual tolerance.