Text | Xiaoyi · Sound | Jennings
Many people say that in feelings, the joy of seeing at first sight is easy to get, and long-term love is not tired of finding.
It's true that liking someone doesn't need a reason, but being together for a long time requires two hearts to grind into each other.
Many people do not understand, too stubborn, think that love is to be unforgettable, regardless of you and me.
But the feelings between people and people are actually very delicate, even if the love is full, you must be careful to take care of it and manage it with your heart.
Whether it is a husband and wife or a lover, if these three signs appear in the relationship, then the relationship will come to an end.
Huff and puff
No relationship disappears for no reason.
The most feared thing about getting along with people is that they are unwilling to tolerate and accommodate each other, and they will act according to their own ideas.
Just like Gu Jia and Xu Huanshan in "Thirty Only".
Many people wonder, Gu Jia is smart and capable, wholeheartedly for the family, her husband has cheated on her, is it worth it?
But in fact, from their daily lives, it is a glimpse of why their marriage has finally come to such an end.
In their marriage, Gu Jia has always been the one who controls the overall situation.
From what house to change at home, to what color socks her husband assembles in the west, all of them are Gu Jia's decisions.
Even the company's key business and financial crisis are controlled by her alone.
For his wife's strength, Xu Huanshan basically obeyed his words and occasionally expressed dissatisfaction, but the argument could only end the conversation with "all listen to you".
Under Gu Jia's strength and control, Xu Huanshan's obedience was more like a compromise under the inability to communicate.
Even if there is no cheating, their marriage is doomed from the beginning to be unhappy.
I have always agreed with the same sentence: "Good feelings must be evenly matched." ”
Indeed, in the face of a tedious emotional life, two people will inevitably have a variety of different small opinions.
But sometimes the force is too strong, forcing the other party to accept everything he has arranged, and even likes to challenge the other person verbally without considering his feelings.
It only alienates feelings, which is the root of many unhappy marriages.
No one is born with a perfect score, and feelings are never a confrontation between the strong and the weak.
To achieve true intimacy, two people need mutual respect, mutual tolerance and understanding.
You don't have to keep asking, "Why don't you do what I say, do you not love me?" ”
There is no need to preach all day: "If you had listened to me earlier, it would not have been like this." ”
Give each other the greatest tolerance in ordinary life, in order to get along comfortably, long-term and stable.
There is no fear
There was a hot topic the other day: what is the most taboo for men and women to interact?
There is a high praise that replied like this:
Whenever I feel that love is about to enter eternity, it is actually the eve of the storm when the crisis comes.
Because, even the best feelings will die of course.
Hadron and his girlfriend were in love for 6 years, but broke up when they were about to get married.
Everyone does not understand that they have always been a model couple in the eyes of others, not only the family conditions are equal, but also the personality is very compatible.
Girls are lively and outgoing, occasionally playing with small sex and throwing tantrums, but hadron can always take care of her and tolerate her like a child.
Just when the two people were talking about marriage, because of some differences of opinion, Hadron proposed to break up without warning.
He said:
I was really tired and had to be on call, whether I had just returned from a business trip or not;
A little bit of disagreement with her intentions began to play temper, and finally I took the initiative to admit my mistakes, and then to please and coax her to be happy;
I also feel very aggrieved, and I don't understand why she can't take the initiative once, can't give me a little affirmation;
I had no way of determining if I would be able to live like this for the rest of my life.
The girl broke down and cried: "I just want to prove that I am loved, I thought you were used to it." You said it earlier that I could change it..."
The world is so big, how fortunate to meet a person who is good to you wholeheartedly among thousands of people.
But unfortunately, most people are not unable to meet, but get but fail to cherish.
It is too easy for us to take the other half's efforts for granted, and once we find that someone is clinging to and spoiling, we will unconsciously become proud and begin to have no fear.
So much so that I forgot that in this world, no one is good to anyone, and no one is inseparable from anyone.
Taking the other party's unrequited efforts as a matter of course will only slowly cool down the person's heart and push him away from him.
In this world, people who are really good to you, when they meet one, there is one less.
If you don't want to lose each other, please cherish it, and feel pain and pay for each other.
You cast a peach, I repay it with Qiong Yao, and the feelings can be warm and long in the ordinary flow of years.
Over-reliance
Many people think that a good relationship should be intimate, regardless of you and me.
But sometimes, relying too much on the other person is not a good thing.
Feelings are even more so.
Jeannie, played by Cecilia Cheung in the movie "Twelve Nights", was also in love with her boyfriend at first, but gradually, she wanted more and more.
When partying with friends, call your boyfriend and know your boyfriend's every move;
The boyfriend did not reply to the message in time at the company, and she was anxious and uneasy, thinking that he was deliberately alienating himself;
Inseparable from her boyfriend, repeatedly calling and asking: Do you want me? How much do you want to? Do you love me?
Until the end, the boyfriend finally couldn't stand it, and the contradiction between the two finally broke out and had a big fight.
Jeannie complained loudly: "Why don't you ever understand what I did for you?" ”
The boyfriend was also full of grievances: "I didn't ask you to do so many things, why do you always have to do so many things for me?" ”
"Because I hurt you, isn't that what hurts a person?"
"It doesn't hurt a person like this, and I can call the secretary to get the computer."
I'm really busy and I've been working, so why do you always call to question my whereabouts and question whether I love you or not? ”
Love is fascinating, but sometimes it can be lost.
It is because of this close relationship that it is easy for us to forget to measure up and think that love is not to distinguish between each other.
Can't wait to get to know each other, want to know the movies he loves to watch, want to understand his taste for eating, and want to occupy all his time and space.
Throw yourself wholeheartedly and put your passion on each other in order to be more cherished.
But the result? Instead of promoting feelings, they ended up parting ways.
What is the best interpretation of love? Like a quote from Rose Island:
"The best love is for two people to be a companion to each other, not to be bound, not to be entangled, two people standing side by side, looking at this lonely world together." 」
A good relationship requires both intimate relationships to support each other and retain independent space.
Keeping our distance and being close to each other is both understanding and respect.
Being independent of each other and relying on each other is the secret of maintaining the long-term unchanging relationship.
In fact, whether a relationship can last and whether the marriage can be happy requires the joint efforts of two people.
No one is born as a couple, and understanding and cherishing each other at any time is the basic law of running a relationship.
Don't be too obsessed, but be comfortable with each other;
Not attached, not flattering, heart-to-heart, often accompanied by old age.
This life is too short, and every feeling encountered is precious.
Couples or lovers, cherish the people who accompany us, cherish everyone who loves us.
Run life with heart, in the respect and support of each other, know each other, and live this life well.
Author: Xiao Da
Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
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