Why do women unconsciously become resentful women after marriage? Why do you think life is very difficult and difficult?
When I was doing counseling, especially in this kind of marital relationship counseling, I always heard the other person complaining about the marital status when describing his marital status:
"He couldn't listen to people at all, he came home like a dead man, lying on the couch, he didn't know how to help me do housework, he was bored to death."
I don't know if there are such female friends around everyone, I didn't have a good personality before marriage, I complained about this and that all day after marriage, I feel that her life is not a smooth thing.
Often their complaints and bad tempers usually come from her own emotional values and needs that are not met by her husband.
Then when women are dissatisfied at the beginning, they will naturally think of using some methods to attract the attention of the other party, but this momentum may not be right.
For example, sometimes you clean up your home all day and are very tired, but as soon as you turn around and find a man lying on the couch, playing a game in a very comfortable posture, you feel unbalanced in an instant.
At this time, many women may take the following 2 ways to express their imbalance.
01
First, send out your temper and try to make the other party compromise through your anger.
For example, when picking up and putting down something, there is a big bumping sound, as long as the other party talks, it will immediately erupt in grievances:
"Can't you see that I'm tired for a day?" I want you to have any use, I know how to play games and games. Do you know how wronged I am? ”
Men are usually waiting for each other to reply to a clear reason because they are results-oriented thinking, but your sudden crackling and pouring bitter water will only make them look confused and you are inexplicably angry.
As a result, men will naturally have resistance, and the two people may quarrel like this.
02
Second, silence is used to express dissatisfaction.
Some women are angry and then dangle in front of their partners, their expressions are obviously wrong, but when the man asks, "What's wrong with you?" "You are silent.
The man continued to ask, "Why don't you talk?" "You continue to be silent, and even though you don't speak, you still have to return the other person's blank eyes." Hint at the other person, "You've already provoked the old lady." ”
However, men, after seeking answers many times without success, will also lose patience, so they will reply with a sentence of "Whatever you want, love to talk about it." ”
Sensual women usually hear this indifferent attitude of men, and immediately the glass heart is broken, and the tears immediately flow out.
If you've had an experience similar to the one above and don't know how to solve a problem effectively, then the next step is to prick up your ears and remember our 3 partner communication tips for promoting relationships.
Be silent for 10 to 15 seconds before opening your mouth
This time is not for you to be in a daze, but after encountering problems, we need a buffer time to sort out the problems.
Take the example we gave above.
When you're tired for most of the day and see men lying down playing games, how do we balance that?
Either ask him to help or let him compensate you in other ways.
So now don't you immediately put on a complaining face, but start to think of the right way to express it?
This step has done a good job of avoiding unpleasant communication beginnings between two people.
Talk about things as they are, don't turn over old accounts
Because we originally wanted to solve the problem of asking him to help with housework, we must talk about things.
A man's brain can only deal with one problem at a time, don't throw a bunch of problems at him with emotions.
Not to mention things from a long time ago, to be honest, men really don't have such a good memory, and turning over old accounts is more to add to our own blockage.
Reasonable appeal + show weakness
The ability to show weakness is God's gift to women, and "showing weakness" when necessary is also our weapon.
A hundred steels can't withstand the softness of the fingers, so hard to touch is a lose-lose situation, why should we do that?
You can choose the time when the other person will end the game and go up to him and coddle him:
"I'm so tired, your baby is tired, punish you for pinching my shoulders."
At this time, the other party is not in the state of the game, then he naturally will not reject you, and then you put down the mobile phone, Shunshi said to him:
"Honey, my neck is so sore, I've finished washing the dishes, you mop the floor later~
Your appeal is expressed in this gentle way, and the other party himself will not argue with you.