Marriage is also a cooperative relationship in the end, and since it is a cooperative relationship, both men and women must have the spirit of contract. If you have to change it, you must also ask the consent of the other party, and you can't make your own opinions and change it casually.
Falling in love is a matter of a man and a woman, as long as the two are happy with each other, as long as they are satisfied with each other. But marriage is not so simple, marriage includes a lot of other things, will involve a lot of people and a lot of things.
Couples should work hard to deal with various problems, as far as possible to achieve a balanced state in all aspects, marriage and family will be harmonious. If you only look at one aspect and ignore the others, sooner or later something will go wrong.
For couples who are both only children, it is particularly necessary to deal with the problem of children. According to old tradition, many families have the idea of inheriting incense, which involves the child's surname. After a couple with only one child has a child, whose surname the child should be with should be agreed by both parties.
The second child is a boy, and the in-laws want the second child to have their family name
Lü Ying and her husband are only children, when they first got married, the two sides discussed whether to marry or not to marry, that is, the man did not pay the bride price, and the woman did not do the dowry. After marriage, both sides take turns to live, anyway, there are houses on both sides, you can do the marriage room. Each side of the wedding has its own gift, and each receives its own gift money, and the young couple picks two families on their shoulders.
The two families also discussed that after marriage, two children will be born, the eldest and the man's surname, inherit the man's incense, brought by the man's parents; the second and the woman's surname, inherit the woman's incense, brought by the woman's parents.
Because the two parties reached an agreement, the marriage went smoothly, and both parties abided by the agreement after the marriage. The young couple lived in the in-laws' house for one week and the mother-in-law's house for another week, and the two sides took turns anyway. The mother-in-law's house and the in-laws are not far apart, so it is convenient to come and go.
In the second year after marriage, Lü Ying gave birth to a daughter, who was surnamed with the man according to the agreement and brought by her in-laws. In the hospital, the mother-in-law was obviously disappointed when she heard that it was a girl. Lu Ying felt it, but she didn't say it, she felt that maybe she was too careful and shouldn't be too calculating.
After giving birth to her daughter, Lu Ying thought of having a second child in four or five years. The two children are too close in age, and in the future, things such as school and marriage are together, and she and her husband will be more tired.
But the mother-in-law urged Lu Ying to give birth to a second child in three days, and also said a lot of benefits of having a second child early. For example, if you give birth early, both parents can still move, if you give birth late, both parents will not be able to move when they are older; giving birth to a child early is conducive to the recovery of the mother's body, and if you are born later, you will become an elderly mother...
Lu Ying was said to have moved her heart, so after her daughter was eight months old, she began to prepare for pregnancy. Two months after she was pregnant, she successfully conceived the second child, and the mother-in-law was very happy, guessing whether the second child was a boy or a girl. After being pregnant in October, Lu Ying successfully gave birth to a big fat boy, and the in-laws and mothers-in-law were very happy.
The mother-in-law held her grandson, almost refused to let go, and stared at her grandson all day long. At that time, the eldest was not yet two years old, and he was in need of someone to bring her, but after her mother-in-law took her to the hospital, she threw her to her own mother, and she only cared about taking care of her newborn grandson.
When Lu Ying gave birth to the eldest, because the boss was surnamed after her in-laws, she sat in confinement at her in-laws' house. Now that the second eldest is going to have her mother's surname, Lu Ying is ready to go back to her mother's house to sit on the confinement, and her parents are also ready to work.
But when Lu Ying was discharged from the hospital, her mother-in-law had to take her to her in-laws' house to sit in confinement, so her mother-in-law also quarreled with her own mother. Later, the mother did not want to fight with her, afraid that her daughter would be embarrassed, so she agreed to let her daughter go to her in-laws' house to confinement.
The day after Lü Ying lived in her in-laws' house, her in-laws actually proposed to let the second brother follow their family name, saying that the boy must follow their family name. Lu Ying finally understood why her mother-in-law had to go to her in-laws' house to confine, it turned out to be for the surname of the second elder.
Lu Ying immediately said no, when it was agreed that the boss and the man's surname, the second and the woman's surname, how can it be changed now? The mother-in-law said that if the second child is still a girl, they will not say anything, but now the second child is a boy, and the boy must have the surname of the man.
Lu Ying still did not agree, she asked her husband what her opinion was, and her husband did not say a word. Lu Ying called her parents, and her parents came immediately, and they naturally disagreed with the second child and the family name of her in-laws.
The mother-in-law saw that the attitude of the relatives was very resolute, so she took a step back and said that she would change the surname of the boss, let the boss follow the mother's family name, and the second brother should have the surname of the mother-in-law. Lu Ying's parents still disagree, they do not care about the problem of boys and girls, mainly can not accept the in-laws such a practice, they feel unfair.
At the beginning, it was said that the boss and the man's surname, the second and the woman's surname, in the order of priority, the mother's family has already given way. Now after the in-laws saw that the second brother was a boy, they wanted to change the surname of the boss, as if they had given the leftover things to the mother's family, and the mother's family felt insulted.
Lu Ying felt that if she changed her daughter's surname, what would her daughter think in the future? In Lu Ying's concept, men and women are equal, and she must treat her two children equally, and must not discriminate against her daughter.
Lü Ying's parents and in-laws quarreled, and neither of them gave in, and the quarrel was incomparable. Lu Ying's husband was caught in the middle, and he persuaded the four old people, but he did not take a stand. Lu Ying was very angry, and quarreled with her husband and forced him to take a stand, but he just did not take a stand, and the family was suddenly restless.
After the confinement, Lu Ying was ready to report the child's account, only to find that her husband had already registered the child's account. After Lü Ying and her husband got married, they did not move their hukou, and her husband's hukou was in a hukou book with her in-laws, and Lü Ying's hukou was in a hukou book with her parents.
When she was in the month, Lu Ying could not go out, and her husband promised to wait until the confinement was out to go to the household registration. Lu Ying believed in her husband, but she did not expect that her husband had secretly gone to the child's household registration at the request of her in-laws. Lu Ying was so angry that she called her parents again.
After the parents came, the two sides quarreled again, Lu Ying stood on the side of her parents, and her husband stood on the side of her in-laws. In the end, Lu Ying was so angry that she filed for divorce, and she didn't want to be with such a person who didn't believe in her words anymore.
Later, because the second eldest was young, he was awarded to Lu Ying, and the boss was awarded to her husband. The husband did not expect to get divorced because of a surname, he was very sad, and finally concealed his parents, agreed to change the surname of the second elder with Lu Ying.
To be a human being, you must keep your promises and keep your word
Lü Ying and her ex-husband are only children, and before marriage, the two parties agreed on many things, and they should abide by the agreement after marriage. But after the in-laws saw that the second child was a boy, they violated the agreement and wanted the second child to follow their family name, which led to the dispersion of a good small family and the harm of two children.
Now there is already equality between men and women, which is clearly stipulated by the law. Women have made far better achievements in certain fields than men, and what reason can we look down on women? The world is made up of men and women, men can't do without women, women can't do without men, men and women are equal.
If Lü Ying's ex-in-laws keep their promises, there will be no divorce for her sons and daughters-in-law. The ex-husband also has a responsibility, and it is a great responsibility, he has the same idea as his parents, so he will secretly give the child a hukou.
Children are not men alone, men cannot make up their own minds, and so can women. Children are common to both husband and wife, and regarding children, the couple must discuss and deal with them. Husbands and wives have one heart, and when they encounter things, they can manage their marriage and family well.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.