Have you ever met an old man who does not think about his children and grandchildren and is morally kidnapped at every turn?
I once heard my colleague say that her uncle and aunt like to play cards, gambling addiction is very big, although just over fifty, has not gone to work, every morning after getting up, they go into the mahjong room, eat in the mahjong room, until dark or they can no longer take out a penny.
Her uncle had not yet reached the age of retirement pension, and her aunt only earned 2,000 a month, which was not enough for them to use for a few days. Once they have spent all the money, they will find someone else to borrow, and then, leave the contact information of their son to the other party, so that the other party can find the son to ask for a debt.
"When someone else asked for a debt, my cousin quarreled with my cousin once, and my cousin also quarreled with my parents, asking me how my aunt and uncle became parents. However, he couldn't make sense with his uncles and aunts, if his cousin didn't come out with money, they would cry and make trouble and hang themselves, and my cousin couldn't watch them die! ”
In the end, the cousin of the colleague divorced and took the child, the cousin was devastated and disappeared completely, the uncle and aunt went to find the son, and also lost the news, and the people in the hometown mentioned them and sneered.
As the Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka said, "It's terrifying to think of parents not having to go through exams." ”
Some people are really sorry for the two sacred titles of father and mother, and really do not deserve the heartfelt respect of their children and grandchildren. Such a person can't say that the daughter-in-law can't stand it, and even their son can't wait to see it.
Being a parent is a science, fatherly kindness and filial piety, before asking your children to be filial piety, you must first play the role of a good parent, while being a parent is not qualified, while morally kidnapping children, want to enjoy its success, even if it is social opinion, it will not be on your side.
"Hello, Mr. Shen Jianming, I am really sorry, I want to resign and terminate the contract, your mother I really can't afford to serve."
Receiving a call from the nurse who was hired by himself to take care of the sick mother, Shen Jianming felt very helpless, and saw that the other party had already made up his mind, so he had to agree to terminate the contract.
"Mom, what do you really want?" I hired 3 nurses for you, you are not satisfied, scold people away, what are you going to do? ”
Shen Jianming's mother's request is very simple, but it is very unrealistic, she does not want the nurse to serve, how much to scold and leave, only the daughter-in-law to go back to serve.
01.
Let's not say whether the daughter-in-law has the obligation to go back to take care of her, let's say that her relationship with the daughter-in-law can be described by the two words of sword tension and a mountain that does not tolerate two tigers.
As early as when Shen Jianming first took his girlfriend home, Shen Jianming's mother saw that the future daughter-in-law was not pleasing to the eye, no less difficult, let her make dumplings for the whole family for a while, and called her to do housework for a while, thanks to Shen Jianming's timely prevention, has been maintaining his girlfriend, he did not make his girlfriend angry, and even marriage could not be married.
"I asked my mom, why bother my girlfriend? Where is she not pleasing to the eye? My mother's answer left me speechless. She actually told me that she didn't know why, anyway, she just looked at my girlfriend unfavorably, didn't want this daughter-in-law, and asked me to break up with her. ”
"Mom, the person I want to live with is me, not you, and I have the final say on which one to marry." Shen Jianming insisted on his own opinion, and it took a lot of effort to pass the stage of the woman's parents and get married smoothly.
Although at the strong request of Shen Jianming, Shen Jianming's mother had to allow this daughter-in-law who she did not like to pass through the door, but still continued to find fault, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was extremely sharp.
"Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel, unfortunate is a man!" On one side is your mother, on the other side is your lover, you say, which side to help is better? In order to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I ran away with my wife. ”
02.
In the third year of marriage, Shen Jianming's wife was pregnant, originally, Shen Jianming wanted to take this opportunity to let the mother look at the face of her grandson, accept the daughter-in-law, and live a kind life as a family.
However, the daughter fell to the ground, not only did not ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also caused the dissatisfaction of the mother who preferred sons to daughters, and she insulted her granddaughter in front of her daughter-in-law as a money-losing commodity and a broom star, which completely offended the daughter-in-law.
After another 3 years, Shen Jianming's wife gave birth to a second child, which is a son, but the wife still refuses to forgive Shen Jianming's mother and does not let the mother-in-law hold her grandson, Shen Jianming's mother also does not ask about the daughter-in-law and grandson, and the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law not only cannot be alleviated, but it accumulates more and more seriously, making Shen Jianming feel headaches.
"In desperation, I had to try not to let them stay under one roof as much as possible, for example, every New Year's Day, I would let my wife take my daughter to my father-in-law and mother-in-law, and I would take my son back to my hometown to visit my parents." My parents wanted to come to live in my house, and I didn't dare to say yes, and I was sure that once my mother and my wife were under the same roof, it wouldn't take a day to quarrel. ”
After talking about the mother-in-law relationship between Shen Jianming's mother and daughter-in-law, we can find out how excessive Shen Jianming's mother's request for her daughter-in-law to serve her daughter-in-law is.
What's more, Shen Jianming's wife is now working, with a monthly salary of 8,000, which is an extremely important source of income for the family.
"I earn 10,000 a month, my wife is 8,000, in addition to 5,500 mortgages, we have to eat and drink, we have to socialize, we have to raise two children, it's okay, I can save some money, but if my wife wants to take care of my mother, she must resign, and it is too difficult for them to take leave." Once my wife loses her job, my income alone will cause our family's quality of life to decline rapidly. ”
03.
In fact, although Shen Jianming's mother was sick and admitted to the hospital, the situation was not too bad, not to the point where someone had to serve, but in order to fulfill filial piety and make her mother feel better, Shen Jianming still hired a nurse for her mother.
Unexpectedly, he hired 3 nurses for his mother, all of whom were taken away by his mother for various reasons, either saying that people were clumsy, or disgusted that people's services were not thoughtful, and the 3 nurses could not stand this anger and proposed to terminate the contract.
Shen Jianming felt very helpless and asked what his mother wanted to do, and his mother still said the same sentence: "As long as my daughter-in-law waits, the mother-in-law is sick and hospitalized, the daughter-in-law takes tea and pours water, and after running before and after running, I am filial piety." When they saw that my daughter-in-law was not there, they all said to me behind my back, saying that I was an evil mother-in-law, what about my reputation? Where does my face rest? ”
Listening to his mother's words, Shen Jianming laughed angrily: "Criticize you? Are they wrong? Mom, it's not that I don't honor my son, but I'm telling the truth, you're really not a good mother-in-law. Let my wife resign to serve you, it is impossible, I will not open my mouth, since you do not want a nurse, you can watch and do it yourself! ”
The mother's request was very unreasonable, and Shen Jianming knew it, and he did not even intend to ask his wife's opinion, but directly rejected his mother. Shen Jianming's mother did not spare, kept calling her son, Shen Jianming took his old mobile phone, put the phone card specially for contacting his family on the old mobile phone, and only then did he get a moment of peace.
"Fortunately, my wife changed her mobile phone number some time ago, and I didn't tell my mother, otherwise, she would have annoyed us all to death." I really don't know what my mother thinks, other people's mothers are looking forward to her son's goodness, she wants me to divorce, my wife is separated, I really doubt that I picked up from which garbage heap she picked up. ”
04.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong mentions in his new book "Talking to another Self about Your Heart" that it is very important to escape, "make good use of this freedom, if your family makes you feel suffocated, you can go back less, or even not back." This will force some elderly people in the family to bow to their children. ”
When you meet an unreasonable, selfish, and completely unconsidering elderly person, you must have your own bottom line, be able to say no, and stand in the same position as your other half, in order to make your parents understand your thoughts and be jealous.
If you compromise with your parents and respond to their needs, their arrogance will be even more arrogant, and they will not take your other half seriously. You can't get your parents, do you still expect them to do it?
Whether it is a man or a woman, remember that only a rock-solid relationship between husband and wife can keep the marriage.
END.
Xiao Qiqi asked you to comment: Do you have any suggestions for Shen Jianming? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.