It is best to get married, which will avoid a lot of contradictions. The door-to-door pair mentioned here should refer to all aspects, not just economic conditions or social status. The influence of the original family on a person is very large, and only those who grew up in a similar environment are more likely to be consistent in the three views.
Husband and wife have the same three views, and when they encounter things, they will think the same way, and it is not easy to produce contradictions. If you come from a family with very different conditions, the way of thinking and concepts will be different, and it is easy to disagree. Because there are differences, couples are prone to quarrels, and once they quarrel, they hurt the feelings of husband and wife.
But if you are already married, you must work hard to run in, and the husband and wife must be tolerant and considerate of each other. There is not only one solution to many things, all roads lead to Rome, to learn to accept and understand different ideas.
After the children become a family, parents should learn to let go and not mix too much in the married life of their children. The more the parents are mixed, and the more the little couple has a bad life, the more inattentive the parents are. Parents should give their children the opportunity to grow, the spouse is his own choice, whether it is good or bad is borne by himself.
The daughter-in-law gives the family 3,000 yuan a month, and the mother-in-law is very unbalanced
Lu Na works in a company with a monthly salary of 6,000 yuan and lives in a dormitory. The parents live in the countryside, and the old couple has no social security and relies on odd jobs to survive. The family is not rich, but the family is very harmonious, kind, and very happy.
At work, Lu Na met her boyfriend, whose family is in the city, whose parents have formal jobs, and whose family conditions are good. When the boyfriend first saw Lu Na, he liked her and then pursued Lu Na in a stalking manner.
Lu Na didn't feel anything for her boyfriend at first, but after her boyfriend chased her for more than half a year, she was really touched. However, Lu Na felt that she was not worthy of her boyfriend, she did not want to climb the branches, afraid that her in-laws would look down on her. The boyfriend said that now what age, there should be no more such feudal thinking.
The boyfriend repeatedly said that he did not have the slightest concept of the door, he only knew that he was in love with LuNa, as long as Luna also loved him, the two of them would get married. So, Lu Na accepted her boyfriend's feelings, and the boyfriend took Lu Na home to meet her parents.
After arriving at her boyfriend's house, the future mother-in-law inquired about Lu Na's family like a household registration check. When she learned that Lu Na's family was rural, her parents were doing odd jobs, and she didn't even have social security, her mother-in-law's face was not good-looking. She said that Lu Na and her son were not suitable, and the son was very unhappy and immediately quarreled with his mother, and Lu Na was embarrassed.
When they first met, the boyfriend clashed with his mother for LuNa, which made her mother-in-law dislike Luna at the beginning. But the son had to marry Lu Na, and the mother-in-law had no choice but to reluctantly accept Lu Na as a daughter-in-law.
After Lu Na and her boyfriend got married, because they did not live with their in-laws, although their mother-in-law did not like her, their married life was still quite happy. Later, Lu Na gave birth to a son, because she was afraid of a mother-in-law conflict, she asked her mother to take care of her confinement.
Because of this matter, the mother-in-law has a great opinion, thinking that the grandson belongs to their family, how can she not be allowed to take care of the confinement? Because her mother-in-law had an opinion, after Lu Na was born, she let her mother go back and take care of the child by herself.
After the end of the maternity leave, Lu Na wanted to let her mother help with the child, but she was afraid that her mother-in-law had an opinion, so she had to let her mother-in-law take it. The little couple sent the child to the in-laws' house every morning, and then went to pick up the child after work, which was very tossed.
Her husband had proposed to let her mother-in-law live in their house, but Lu Na felt that her mother-in-law was prejudiced against her, and there would definitely be contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law when living together. The mother-in-law did not want to come, she said that she could not throw her father-in-law down, and she could not sleep after changing the bed.
In the blink of an eye, the child is 4 years old, very lively and cute, and the small mouth is also very good at speaking. One day, the mother-in-law accidentally learned from her grandson's mouth that the daughter-in-law had to give 3,000 yuan to her relatives every month. The grandson heard his mother say it, so when grandma asked him if his mother wanted to give money to grandpa and grandma, he said it.
Lu Na's parents have no social security, and now that they are older, they don't make much money from odd jobs. Luna, their only daughter, gives her parents 3,000 yuan a month to make their lives more prosperous.
Both in-laws have retirement salaries, and the two of them have a combined salary of more than ten thousand yuan a month, and they still have savings. The old couple didn't have much to spend on their own, so they took care of their grandchildren's expenses. Two years ago, my son changed into a new car, and they also posted more than 100,000 to my son, and usually Bought this and that for my son.
Now I heard that my daughter-in-law had to give her relatives 3,000 yuan a month, and my mother-in-law's heart was immediately unbalanced. Their old couple posted money to their son, but their daughter-in-law posted money to their relatives, what is this?
When Lu Na came to pick up the child that day, her mother-in-law quarreled with her, thinking that the daughter-in-law could not post money to her relatives. Lu Na thinks that she is taking her own salary to her parents, what is wrong with her filial piety to her parents? The mother-in-law said that Lu Na's money was the joint property of the husband and wife, and if her son did not give them money, Lu Na could not give money to her parents.
After Lu Na returned to her home, she was very angry, so she threw a tantrum at her husband, thinking that her mother-in-law had managed too much. The husband was very embarrassed, so he called his mother-in-law, and as a result, he was reprimanded by his mother-in-law. After hanging up the phone, the husband was also angry, thinking that Lu Na should not quarrel with her mother-in-law, and the couple quarreled.
Since then, because Lu Na gave her relatives 3,000 yuan, her mother-in-law has always quarreled with her son and daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law's purpose was to prevent the daughter-in-law from giving money to the family again, but Lu Na insisted on giving, and she still gave it with a straight face, not wanting to give it secretly.
Lu Na was angry with her mother-in-law, so she spread the anger on her husband, so the couple often quarreled. After more than half a year of such noise, Lu Na did not want to argue anymore, and she could not help but give her parents money, so she insisted on divorcing her husband, and the child followed her.
Her husband didn't want to divorce, but because LuNa insisted, he finally had to agree. After the divorce, he was very sad and he was reluctant to remarry. Seeing that her son had been single, Lu Na's ex-in-laws were very anxious, and the former father-in-law blamed the former mother-in-law for not being good, and the old couple quarreled at both ends for three days.
After the children start a family, the parents are less involved in their married life
From the mother-in-law's position, she will indeed be mentally unbalanced. Their old couple is posting money to their son and daughter-in-law, but their daughter-in-law is posting money to their relatives, and the mother-in-law has a feeling of loss.
But from the standpoint of the daughter-in-law, she is the only daughter of her parents, she lives a good life, but her parents live a hard life, how can she ignore it? As a child, she should be filial to her parents, so she gives her parents 3,000 yuan a month.
From the standpoint of Lu Na's ex-husband, the parents-in-law's life is not very good, and his wife wants to give them 3,000 yuan per month, how can he stop it? His parents are in good condition, of course, there is no need for him to subsidize his parents, and his parents also subsidize him.
When the wife and mother clash, the ex-husband is sandwiched in the middle, and it is impossible to help anyone. When Lu Na quarreled with him, he could only lose his temper, and as a result, the marriage was lost. The ex-husband's heart is deeply in love with Lu Na, so he is reluctant to remarry. Besides, for people who are emotionally focused, it is not easy to start a relationship again.
Everyone's position is different, the ideas are different, and the practices are naturally different. Lu Na and her ex-husband's family have their own reasons, and they can't just say who is right and who is wrong. If you have to find out what went wrong, it can only be said that when they were first married, the two people did not find the right marriage partner.
If the economic situation of Lu Na's mother's family is the same as that of her in-laws, then why should Lu Na post money to her parents? Or the economic situation of the in-laws' family is the same as That of Lu Na's mother-in-law, so when Lu Na posts money to her parents, she also posts a piece of money to her in-laws, and her mother-in-law naturally has no opinion.
Therefore, it is very important to say that the door is very important, do not think that the door is the old feudal, which is the summary of the marriage experience of the ancestors for thousands of years. Love is beautiful, but in marriage love is not all, marriage also includes a lot of other things. When married life becomes a chicken feather, love will slip away quietly, and the marriage will not be happy.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.