01
As the divorce rate in the mainland continues to rise, divorced people enter the marriage market again, and there will be a combination of unmarried people and married people, which is not a minority, and will only increase in the future.
The family formed in this way is completely different from the family formed by two people who have never been married at all, and it will be more complicated. Especially if there are children, if the other party and the ex do not have children, then their divorce is like a love breakup, there will be no entanglement in the future, and it may even be possible to die and not interact with each other.
However, if the other party has children, then the ex will not be able to contact with the ex because of this child, and there will be many entanglements between them, which will bring some obstacles to the new family.
The two families mentioned in "Dear Family" are like this, Xiao Lu and Yinuo have a child, the child is carried by Fang Yinuo, originally if it were not for Hehe's illness, Xiao Lu could not see Hehe, if so, then the child had almost no impact on XiaoLu's new family.
Because Hehe was their child, he later fell ill, which brought certain problems and tests to their new family, and also had a certain impact on their marriage.
From the perspective of Dong Fan and Lao Xie, they have encountered similar problems when they marry divorced people with children, and these problems are still very typical, let's take a look.
02
Question 1: Whether to have another child after marriage.
Marrying someone who loves each other and giving birth to a crystallization of love, two people raise the child together, witness the miracle of life, I believe this is the beautiful expectation of many people for marriage, but if the person who marries you already has a child, his willingness to regenerate may be greatly reduced.
Xiao Lu is like this, perhaps after experiencing the life of the chicken flying dog jumping in the family after the birth of the child, he was afraid, afraid of having another child and going through the same life, so he persuaded Dong Fan and the two people not to have children at the beginning.
When she was not married, Dong Fan felt that it was good not to have children, and the two people had more time to enjoy life together, but after marriage, her ideas slowly changed, especially watching Xiao Lu secretly go to accompany Hehe every week, and later Hehe fell ill, he spent most of his time with Hehe, and she felt that Hehe had taken XiaoLu's love for her.
At this time, she would think that if she had her own children, how good it would be, so that Xiao Lu would spend more time for her and the children, so that she would not have to eat the vinegar of Hehe. But Xiao Lu didn't want to, she had mentioned her own idea, Xiao Lu did not agree.
And Lao Xie is also like this, he married Yinuo with a child, and Yinuo raised a child that does not belong to him, he loves Hehe as his own daughter, but this is always not his child, he will also worry about what to do if the child recognizes his biological father in the future.
Later, Yinuo was pregnant with a child, and he was very happy, but Yinuo did not want a child, worried that giving birth to a child would delay Hehe's treatment, and Old Xie Bai was happy, and the marriage between the two was thus greatly tested.
This is a very typical problem encountered in marrying someone with children, and it is very common, if two people can reach a consensus, then this problem is not a problem, I am afraid that I can't reach a consensus, it will be trouble.
03
Problem two: the entanglement between the partner and the ex.
Everyone knows that if they have children between them, then they can't do it completely unconnected, unless it's those who are very cruel and leave the children behind, or the party with the children doesn't let the other party see, otherwise they won't do it.
Children will inevitably encounter many problems in the process of growth, and the two people need to discuss how to solve them, such as the child's rebellion problem, the child's learning problem, the child's future, etc., which are inevitable.
And Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo in the play are because the child is sick, if Hehe is not sick, Yinuo will not have contact with Xiao Lu if he is killed, and there is no connection between them.
But in the end, they still have to contact, after the child is sick, they will often meet because of the child's affairs, will discuss the child's problems, and discuss how to solve the problem.
For Lao Xie, he actually sometimes feels a little unhappy in his heart, especially when he looks at Hehe and Xiao Lu very close, sometimes Yinuo and Xiao Lu are on the side of the bed to comfort Hehe, he even feels that he is superfluous and should not appear there.
And for Dong Fan, it is even easier to think wildly, the first time Xiao Lu went to the hospital to accompany the bed, she couldn't help but think wildly at home alone, she would think about what it was like when he was with his ex-wife, whether they would have new feelings, whether they would rekindle old feelings, whether they would have real feelings because of Hehe, and so on.
Later, Xiao Lu and Yinuo decided to have another child to save Hehe, Dong Fan's grievances reached the extreme, how could this not be wronged, his ex-wife is the mother of his children, how can it not be wronged.
This is the second typical question, that is, the other party will often contact, so will you be jealous because of the other party's contact, will you feel insecure, will you feel hurt?
04
The above two problems are two very typical problems encountered when marrying a married person with children, and these two problems can bring great tests to new marriages.
Some people handle it well, and there will be no adverse effect on the new family, but if some people don't handle it well, the new family will be greatly affected, and the marriage of two people will come to an end not long ago.
Marriage is very complicated, not to mention such a combination, it will only be more difficult, and it will require the common understanding and support of two people, so that the marriage can be made better, otherwise it will be like Yinuo and Xiao Lu, and the marriage will be frequently tested.
If you're planning to marry a divorced person with children, are you wise enough to deal with these two questions before you get married? If there is then you can get married, if not, then it is still recommended not to easily step into such a marriage.
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Article illustration | Stills from "Dear Little Child"