Seeing Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu divorced, not only were they relieved, but even the audience felt relieved, because their marriage was too depressing.
When divorced, some people said that a scumbag like Xiao Lu should leave him early, otherwise he would not want to have a good life. In the process of Fang Yinuo giving birth to the child and later raising the child, Xiao Lu did not take on the responsibilities of a father, and completely handed over the home and children to his wife.
Most of the problems in a marriage will not be the responsibility of one person, And Xiao Lu is at fault and is not doing well enough, as mentioned in the previous article. Fang Yinuo also has responsibilities, she has not learned to manage marriage, some people have compared women to a school, men to students, that Fang Yinuo is not a good school.
When Fang Yinuo divorced, she still did not realize her mistakes, and she was still full of grievances, only feeling that she had seen the true face of Xiao Lu earlier, but she did not make a deep reflection on herself.
First, women are strong, men will not grow up
In marriage, Fang Yinuo said one thing is not two, as long as it is something she has decided, Xiao Lu no matter how much she opposes, it is useless, Fang Yinuo is too strong.
Xiao Lu originally wanted to buy her a crucian carp to supplement her body, but he bought it wrong, and after Fang Yinuo saw it, he fell down for a while, saying that he couldn't understand these things, and he had to do it.
Seeing this, I feel very speechless, when a man does housework, he does not do well, and the more you hit him, the more he is reluctant to do it. There are many women who are like this, preferring to be tired on their own rather than give their husbands the opportunity to learn. In the end, he took care of all the housework, and said that his husband was lazy, but his husband said: I want to help you, but you hate me for not doing a good job, and don't let me do it!
Xiao Lu bought the wrong fish, you can not burn fish soup, use other methods to make and eat it, if Fang Yinuo praises him for having a heart, then tell him the type of fish on the line, next time Xiao Lu will definitely remember.
Hehe fell, Fang Yinuo took her to the hospital to take a film to see if she had broken her head, and when she returned home from the hospital, Xiao Lu opened the door of the co-driver for her. After Fang Yinuo saw it, he began to be anxious again, and directly and impatiently said: Can I sit in front of the child with my child in my arms?
When Xiao Lu did something wrong, Fang Yinuo never thought whether he was unintentional, only knew to blame, and did not give him a chance to explain.
A woman is too strong, she thinks she is very capable, can do anything, will dislike the man will not do anything, see what he does is not satisfied. In this way, men will be more and more afraid of you, the more they do, the more wrong they are, and simply don't do it.
Xiao Lu is like a child who has not grown up, especially in terms of taking care of children, he does not have his own experience of having children, and does not understand the kind of feelings that mother has for children. The woman is pregnant in October, has been with the child for ten months, can feel the small life in the belly, and has a natural advantage in taking care of the child.
Men are different, he does not feel, many people say: "Men have no feelings with newborns, can not feel empathy with women, from the birth of the child, he began to establish feelings with the child." 」 ”
I think this is very true, when a man really sees a child, he really knows the child's relationship with him.
Xiao Lu was bent on doing business and giving his wife and daughter a good material life, ignoring the company of them. Fang Yinuo should tell him well that the money can be earned later, she did not, she directly sentenced Xiao Lu to the "death penalty", thinking that he did not love children and did not want children.
Fang Yinuo was too strong, she felt that Xiao Lu was incompetent, men were not needed, and their sense of existence at home was low, and she wanted to escape.
Second, the personality is sensitive, and men want to hide away
Sister-in-law Yue came to help take care of the child, and Fang Yinuo kept staring at her, thinking that she had fed the child milk powder. At three o'clock in the middle of the night, she will also go to the sister-in-law's room to listen to the sound to see if she is not good for the child.
Seeing that others said that the sister-in-law would be lazy and wanted more rest time, she was more careful, and she had to monitor the sister-in-law all the time.
Hehe jaundice was serious, and YueYi did not see it, it was indeed a dereliction of duty, but Fang Yinuo's sensitivity was more obvious, she did not trust Yue Jie at all, and had been monitoring her.
The child is high in breast milk jaundice, the more breast milk is eaten, the more serious it is, in addition, Fang Yinuo's breast milk is not enough, the child is not full, and the sister-in-law feels that mixed feeding is the best. Xiao Lu said that the child may be breast-milk jaundice, and Fang Yinuo's mood immediately became irritable: I have a problem with breast milk!
Others are just a very simple sentence, she thinks that others are accusing her, it is really too grumpy, her personality, suspicious, sensitive, not easy to trust others, the final result is that others in order to take care of her emotions, lie, conceal, afraid that she will think more.
The mother-in-law came to help with the child, and she was not at ease, and would take the telescope to look down from the window. The high color screen is indeed a bit unreliable, but the person who specially buys a telescope to see it is indeed a little embarrassed, and if she is seen by her mother-in-law, she will definitely feel uncomfortable in her heart.
Women are too sensitive, they like to find things, and it is very difficult to be her husband, because women who are too sensitive are very difficult to please, and your unconscious words are misinterpreted by her.
Third, raise children, too much faith in "books", anxiety is too much
"Experts say that any unpleasantness before the age of three will cast a shadow on your life."
When I heard Fang Yinuo say this, my feeling was: Just listen.
Children before the age of three, love to cry, adults will always have a time when they can't help but lose their temper, roaring a few times is common, some have a bad temper, can't control the anger, hit the child a few times, it is also common. If you keep your child happy all the time, I don't think anyone can do it.
When the sister-in-law is there, Fang Yinuo will write down the specific situation of the child's feeding and defecation, and after the sister-in-law leaves, she lets the mother-in-law continue to remember. Gao Caiping is an uncultured person, how could she do such a meticulous thing?
To be honest, around me, I have never seen such a small book and write down such a careful mother. At most, at the beginning, the brain roughly records the amount of milk powder the child drinks, and slowly there is a regularity, and it is not remembered.
Fang Yinuo is too "meticulous" to tell others that her parenting style is scientific.
When giving birth to the first child, newborn mothers are indeed prone to anxiety, because they have no experience, are afraid of their children getting sick, and have high expectations for their children, which are inevitable.
Fang Yinuo is too anxious, and a lot of what she does is useless, the child does not need it, it is just a matter of her own behavior and habits.
The rift in the marriage between Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu is all because of the child' affairs, Fang Yinuo is excessively anxious, Xiao Lu is too relaxed, one feels that the other party is worried too much, and the other thinks that the other party does not care at all, which is easy to produce contradictions.
Fourth, they will not speak well, and misunderstandings will increase
Xiao Lu wanted to have a good chat with Fang Yinuo, let her have something to say, don't hold it in her heart, Fang Yinuo said: You don't talk to me.
The two lack communication, Xiao Lu is not good at words, Fang Yinuo speaks strongly, and there will be problems in a marriage without communication.
I admit that Fang Yinuo is very powerful, her life self-care ability is very strong, and she can arrange her own affairs clearly. However, in marriage, the affairs of two people must be faced together, and they cannot feel that the other party is dragging their feet, so they directly deny each other completely.
Every time the two of them discussed a problem, Fang Yinuo would quarrel with Xiao Lu. Gao Caiping did not knock on the door, and Fang Yinuo began to accuse Xiao Lu and ask him to talk to his mother-in-law. I think this matter is very simple, when it is inconvenient, I will directly lock the door, and after a few times, my mother-in-law will know.
"I don't understand why I have to rush to get it!"
"That Hehe will lie to us when he grows up!"
"Go inside and see what your mother has come with!"
Fang Yinuo said these words, the meaning is correct, but the tone and tone of the speech make people feel aggressive, she will not speak euphemistically. Whether it is a man or a woman, they like to listen to good words, Xiao Lu sometimes says some words of praise, and Fang Yinuo will not.
In other words, a woman who can't talk well, she is even less coquettish, nor gentle, and in the family, she can't play a harmonious role.
Xiao Lu is a straight man, his mind is straighter, plus Fang Yinuo can't talk well, and the two people basically can't communicate.
Fifth, too much love to calculate
After the divorce, Fang Yinuo went back to pack up his things, and incidentally helped Xiao Lu clean up the room, mop the floor, and leave him a lamp, so it was quite affectionate to look at!
However, there is a detail, I don't know if everyone found it, Fang Yinuo moved the TV at home. I also knew when I saw the interviewer Fang Yinuo, and when I watched it, I didn't notice it.
However, this detail is really quite in line with Fang Yinuo's personality, she loves to calculate too much, and everything must be calculated clearly and clearly.
In the ledger, she remembered clearly, and she also remembered the child's eating and drinking Lazare. The ex-wife of the homework, seeing that the ex-husband's home was dirty, she felt that it was also a heavy feeling to clean it up. Moving away the TV, it should feel that the family is separated, and the furniture and appliances also have half of her, so she moved the TV away.
Fang Yinuo calculated clearly, she loved to calculate too much, so Xiao Lu said that she was pretending to be a good wife and mother, because she paid, she had to be rewarded, and asking others to listen to her had to do what she wanted.
In short, a woman like Fang Yinuo, you say that she has shortcomings, you can't find it specifically, because she has done a lot, if she has no shortcomings, it is not right, because she loves more truth, and living with her will feel very mentally stressed.
Sixth, self-esteem
In terms of taking children, I think fang Yinuo has done something wrong, that is, to completely let his mother take the child. Gao Caiping also hurt her granddaughter very much, Fang Yinuo did not trust her and wanted her to leave, and her mother directly said that Gao Caiping did not leave here.
I think this is a bit too much, although the mother-in-law is better with the child, but the mother-in-law is also trying to learn to take the child, can not let people touch the child, only let the family clean and cook.
Gao Caiping wanted to touch the child's face, and Fang Yinuo's mother hurriedly blocked it with her arm and said that the child would drool.
When the child's first birthday feast, Gao Caiping wanted to see his granddaughter, Fang Yinuo's parents said that the child was sleeping, and he would hold it out and look at it again, Hehe was the granddaughter of someone else, why couldn't he look at it?
The Fang family's doing this is a bit hurtful to people's self-esteem, that is, they look down on the Xiao family and think that they are inferior to their own family.
Xiao Lu looked in the eyes, Fang Yinuo's family looked down on his own family, his brother did not tune, how to him, Xiao Lu can endure, but treat his mother as a "next person", I think Xiao Lu can't stand it.
As a daughter-in-law, Fang Yinuo knows that her mother takes care of the children at home, and she should also consider Xiao Lu so that her mother-in-law can also rotate with the children.
The Fang family with the child, looking at it is helping the daughter, is actually looking down on the Xiao family. Xiao Lu said that when he was a teenager, he was determined to mix up his personal appearance and let others look up to him, and as a result, after getting married, his wife and family actually looked down on his own family, and he would definitely feel nestled in his heart.
A good marriage is a matter of two families
Xiao Lu does not know how to deal with the feelings of husband and wife, because of his original family, he did not see the appearance of his parents' love, gao caiping was so hot, he did not know what a good married life should be like.
Fang Yinuo's parents are sound, his parents are a bit cultured, the living conditions are better than Xiao Lu's family, the life background of the two families is completely different, Fang Yinuo feels that Xiao Lu is too difficult to bring, Xiao Lu thinks that she has too many things.
When they arrived at Xie Tianhua's house, the Xie family's parents were still more understanding of people's feelings, talking about etiquette, good communication, Fang Yinuo would not feel that they were unreasonable, and their living habits were also very good, and Fang Yinuo would not have so many dissatisfaction.
When she married Xiao Lu, her parents did not agree, thinking that Xiao Lu had no house and no car, the family conditions were not good, the Fang family did not look up to Xiao Lu at the beginning, and then there was a problem, they felt that they should not marry their daughter to him in the first place.
Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo, the two of them from the family to the personality are not suitable, after marriage did not manage the relationship well, face the problem, and finally divorce ended.
At last:
Many people say that these two people are not suitable at all, how can they come together? Because what we see is what happens after they have children, before marriage, they are both good, and they are the ideal type to get married.
Xiao Lu's family conditions are not good, but he is self-motivated, has goals, and is a potential stock; Fang Yinuo's family conditions are OK, the burden is light, and he is very independent, and he is also quite suitable for being a wife.
After giving birth to a child, the personality shortcomings of the two people were exposed, and they both said that the parents had a child, and it seemed that they were not ready to have a child. After a husband and wife get married, they need to run in, and if they have not run into a good fit and have children, they are prone to contradictions.
Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo are both for the good of the family and children, but the way is different, coupled with some external factors, so that they ignore each other's feelings, and their dissatisfaction with each other is increasing.
Ren Suxi said in an interview: Everyone feels that Fang Yinuo has paid more, but Xiao Lu is not working, or these two people are not going together.
Author: Muzi