Family affection is a major feeling that we attach the most importance to, and kinship has also been valued by people. For example, in the New Year, visiting relatives and friends is an indispensable part. In times of crisis, in addition to family, relatives may be the priority objects we think of.
However, regarding relatives, there is a saying on the Internet that is very in place: look down on you when you are down, and envy you when you are good, he wants you to live well, but does not want you to live better than him, this is relatives.
Some people value you and treat you well, only because you are relatives, once the same ancestor, whether you are developed or lost, in his eyes, you are still that person.
Some people interact with relatives, adhering to the principle that who can bring me benefits will smile and greet, who not only can not bring benefits to me but may need my help, how far can I hide.
Encountering the latter is a headache. You don't want him to take advantage, he talks about affection, he splashes you with dirty water, and those gossip is really hard to deal with.
As the writer Zhou Chong once said: "If a person has several bear relatives, the happiness value of life will plummet." ”
What makes many people feel more painful is that some relatives find that they can't find themselves and may be refused to go back, so they find another way to go to their parents. Compared with more realistic young people, the older generation values family affection more, and may become a sharp blade in the hands of some people who want to harm others and hurt their children.
For example, my neighbors in my hometown are such people. Since her daughter was admitted to 985 University, she has many new faces in her family, and often neighbors come to visit her and ask her to find her daughter to do things.
This aunt loves face very much, thinking that the reason why relatives look for themselves and do not find others is because they can see themselves and respond to their needs, so they go to their daughters and say that they forced them to complete. As soon as she mentioned her mother, her daughter was angry and didn't even want to go home.
Compared with my confused neighbor, Aunt Cao is much more sober. Not only did he repeatedly refuse the unreasonable demands of his relatives, but even her husband and in-laws could unceremoniously scold them back.
"In my heart, no one is more important than my son, and I will fully support what my son is willing to do and be happy to do, to the detriment of my son's interests, to scold one, no matter who he is." 」
01. Rich in the mountains have distant relatives, poor in the downtown no one asks, this sentence is a true portrayal of my relationship with relatives;
30 years ago, the 24-year-old Aunt Cao, under the arrangement of her parents, married into a nearby village and married Mr. Xue.
Mr. Xue's family was poor and destitute, and after getting married, Aunt Cao and Mr. Xue worked in the fields together, planting crops and supporting the family. In the third year of marriage, Aunt Cao gave birth to a son named Hua Lei.
"When my son was 3 years old, our mother and son had to be separated from my husband, watching him take a simple luggage and follow others to the city to work, only to come back once a year. If he doesn't go, if he doesn't go, we don't have to say that we can read for our son, and even survival is a problem. ”
After her husband went out to work, Aunt Cao took care of the crops at home while taking care of the children and taking care of the in-laws. And in this most painful time, there are very few relatives who reach out to them, and even more cold-eyed.
"I remember when my son was in his second year of high school, my husband met an unauthentic boss who was in arrears in his salary and couldn't pay his son back to pay for his tuition. In desperation, I followed my mother-in-law to visit several relatives' homes, hoping to borrow some money, but you know what? We asked about the relatives we could find, and there were about a dozen of them, and we only borrowed 100 yuan. ”
Some relatives do have difficulties, Aunt Cao also knows that it will not be forced, but there are several relatives who usually love to show off their wealth, but they do not pull out anything, and even some people mock Aunt Cao, suggesting that her son should not study when he has no money, hurry out to make money, and Aunt Cao's mother-in-law is angry and crying.
Fortunately, Hua Lei had excellent grades, and the class teacher reached out to help and took money to pay the tuition fees for the children, which Aunt Cao remembered all her life.
Hua Lei lived up to his family's expectations, was admitted to a double-first-class university, and after graduation, he joined a state-owned enterprise, which is what people call a phoenix man.
"On the day of the banquet for my son, we obviously didn't invite so many people, especially the relatives who refused to borrow money, but they all came and pulled my son to call him uncle and aunt, and I felt embarrassed."
02. The broken marriage of my son's college classmates made me swear in my heart that I would never drag my son back;
In October last year, Cao Hualei got married and married his girlfriend.
"It is really not easy for my son to get married, and my mother strongly opposes it, on the grounds that I should not marry a phoenix man." I was very unconvinced at first, why do you say that! It wasn't until my son told me about the experience of his college classmates that I understood that my mother had this concern, which was understandable. ”
Hua Lei's college classmates were similar to theirs, also a phoenix man, not long after graduation, married to a city girl, but their marriage lasted only one year, and it was destroyed in the hands of the boy's mother, the brother-in-law.
In order to honor her mother and help her brother, Hua Lei's mother forced her son to take 200,000 yuan to help his cousin pay off his debts, and came to his son's house several times to make trouble. In the end, Hua Lei's classmates could not bear the pressure, chose to compromise, and took 200,000 yuan behind his wife's back to his mother.
Soon, this matter was discovered by the wife of the classmate, who gave up the child in her belly and divorced.
"For the sake of her own nephew, she ruined her son's marriage and killed her own grandson, and such a woman is also worthy of being a mother?" Who is the biological child? I swear that I would never hurt my son for anyone, who dared to beat my son's idea, and I fought with him. ”
03. My son's annual salary of 300,000 is not fake, that is because he is self-motivated, about your ass, you want to take advantage?
"Your son's annual salary is 300,000 yuan, and 100,000 yuan is not a small meaning?" Can you just say no to him? Everyone is a relative, why are you so cold-blooded and ruthless, just refuse to help? Or are you now developed and look down on us poor relatives? ”
A few days ago, my husband's cousin came to visit the house with gifts, very enthusiastic, and Aunt Cao's first reaction was that he had something to ask for.
Sure enough, the husband's cousin told Aunt Cao that her son was getting married and wanted to borrow 100,000 yuan from them for marriage expenses.
"As soon as I heard it, I thought it was impossible, not because I was cold-blooded and ruthless, but because I had a bad impression of him. He was not only one of the relatives who refused to lend my son tuition, but also had a poor reputation, often borrowing money from others, but when he borrowed money, he was a grandson, nodding his head, and when he repaid the money, you may not be able to get the money back if you ask him. ”
What annoyed Aunt Cao was that her husband was an old and good man and actually agreed, and Aunt Cao was very angry and explicitly refused.
The cousin also knew that Hua Lei would listen to his mother, so he grinded up with Aunt Cao, opening his mouth and closing his mouth is Hua Lei's annual salary of 300,000 yuan, it is not difficult to take 100,000 yuan, Aunt Cao asked: "My son's annual salary is 300,000, but eat a grain of rice from your family?" He has a job, just what do you do, you open your mouth to 100,000? Dream about it! ”
The cousin was scolded away by Aunt Cao, the husband felt unhappy, the matter was known to the in-laws, and she also felt that Aunt Cao had done a little too much.
"Your son is pro, or is it your cousin?" Is your grandson pro, or is he pro? Do you have to annoy Xiao Lei's daughter-in-law to be happy? In the end, the husband and in-laws no longer squeaked, and no one mentioned this matter to Hua Lei.
04. Treat the villain who holds the high and the low, rather than beating the dog with a meat bun and never returning, it is better to resolutely refuse.
The writer Bi Shumin once said: "Rejection is suffering, but it is a temporary pain, and after the pain is peace." ”
Treat the villain who holds the high and the low, rather than beating the dog with a meat bun and never returning, it is better to resolutely refuse. Anyway, if you lend money to a selfish person who never intends to return it, and when you ask for money, you will fall out with him, change from relatives to enemies, and the relationship is severed, so it is better to reject him from the beginning, so as not to lose your own interests.
Between relatives, helping is the love, not helping is the duty, and interacting with relatives, there must be a sense of proportion, neither think of harming others and self-interest, nor let others bully.
In life, don't just think about pleasing others, be a person who can not be offended, and eventually pit yourself and your family, and gain more than you lose.
END.
Today's topic: Have you ever met a relative who borrowed money and didn't pay it back? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.