The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a topic of great concern to people, each with its own understanding and ideas, different experiences, different attitudes, and different discourse rights.
In the past two years, the Internet has been creating a kind of human design, a good mother-in-law has to be how good the daughter-in-law is, and all kinds of dislike for the son, as long as the son and daughter-in-law have a conflict, it must be the son's fault. Such a deliberately created persona is inevitably a bit of a false far-fetched, is it not necessarily a good mother-in-law who is partial to the daughter-in-law? Not necessarily!
How to judge the in-laws' goodness? Three standards for your reference, Hao Qinglin's parents in the TV series "Meet the Season" made an example.
It is inevitable that parents love their children
The love of a parent's son must be far-reaching, and the ancients were still like this, let alone the wise modern people.
The love of parents for their children is innate, from the heart, and can never be changed, so to put it bluntly, those who love their daughter-in-law and belittle their sons do not really love their daughter-in-law at all, at most they respect their daughter-in-law, they are deliberate, they are pretended, why? Or for his own son.
No matter how much the son belittled it was still his own, the blood relationship could not be changed, and the son would not remember hatred. And the in-laws respect the daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law is happy, the husband and wife have a good relationship, the son is naturally good, so people still love the son!
To put it bluntly, loving your son is an instinctive reaction, and loving your daughter-in-law is deliberately maintaining.
In "The Season of Encounter", Hao Qinglin had a problem at work and was taken away by the procuratorate, even if it was the last step away from divorce, but his wife Ning Yu still found him the best lawyer. Hao Qinglin had not taken a penny from her family for many years, but Ning Yu's property was frozen because of him, and her and her son's lives were affected, but Ning Yu was still willing to help Hao Qinglin for the last time, after all, it was a husband and wife, and her in-laws did not know about this.
Ning You did a lot for Hao Qinglin, but when Hao Qinglin's parents asked Ning You to understand the situation, their first reaction was to blame Ning You for dereliction of duty without understanding the situation. The mother-in-law complained that she did not do what a wife should do, which led to Hao Qinglin making a mistake. This reaction was normal and real.
But at that time, when I saw this, I was really worried that Hao Qinglin's parents would rely on the old and sell the old, or even unreasonably embarrassed ning You, which seemed to be more bloody, more in line with the appetite of some people, and more eye-catching, but it was not. After learning about Ning You's situation, the two old men first apologized, and then felt that Ning Yu was really benevolent and righteous, and they were very grateful. After seeing her in-laws' reactions like this, she could finally understand why Ning Yu was willing to take care of their feelings!
It's too rare to compare the heart to the heart
It is too difficult to compare hearts between in-laws and daughters-in-law! If it can be done, then there is no contradiction.
Hao Qinglin's parents were silent for a long time after learning what their son had done, and finally the old couple made it clear that Hao Qinglin's own mistakes were borne by himself, Ning Yu did not have to bear anything for him, and Ning You and his grandson would have to live normally in the future, even if it was for their grandson, they must let their son and daughter-in-law draw a clear line.
Ning You's good friend is a lawyer, and he is accustomed to seeing couples who fly separately in the face of great difficulties, not to mention that Hao Qinglin is already at fault, and he has been cheating, let alone worthy of pity. In order to safeguard Ning You's rights, the good friend chose to let her immediately sue for divorce and divide the property, and if the in-laws were unwilling, it could be directly attacked. Ning Yu couldn't bear it, and his good friend didn't understand it until Hao Qinglin's parents took a stand again.
The in-laws said that Hao Qinglin's fines were all borne by them, and that they were responsible for the so-called filial piety of the son. As a husband and wife, Hao Qinglin did not fulfill her husband's responsibilities, he deserved to have such an ending, and Ning Yu should not be involved.
I have to say that Hao Qinglin's parents are really quite positive, they have achieved heart-to-heart, and no matter how good their son is, he can also distinguish between right and wrong, which is to justify the name and proof of the in-laws in the world!
It is most valuable to change it if you know your mistake
The most admirable thing about Hao Qinglin's parents is that they can change their mistakes and have a sincere attitude.
Many old people like to rely on the old and sell the old, especially the in-laws in front of their daughters-in-law, which must ensure absolute authority, but Hao Qinglin's parents did not.
Hao Qinglin's affair came to find the old two, the old two loved their son, and did not fully understand Ning You's attitude, so he changed lawyers at the instigation of Xiao San, and as a result, Hao Qinglin thought that Ning Yu had given up on him, and he was extremely uncooperative inside, and Ning Yu's efforts were seen to be adrift. At this time, Ning Yu found her in-laws in time and showed her attitude to them, Hao Qinglin's parents knew that they had done something wrong, harmed their son, and could not stand their daughter-in-law.
Hao Qinglin's father waited outside the detention center for a night in order to save him in time, and finally informed his son with the help of a lawyer, explained the situation to his son, and asked him to cooperate. Then he went to his daughter-in-law's house to apologize to Ning You, and this scene was sad and touching.
Many people think that Hao Qinglin's father bowed to Ning Yu for the sake of his son, and it cannot be said that this is not possible, but after an old man realized that his misjudgment had brought trouble to others, it was already good that he could correct it at the first time. You know, most of the in-laws are likely to put the responsibility on the daughter-in-law, they can even do nothing with both hands, all let Ning Yu do it, ning Yu's personality will not sit idly by, and if she really does not care, the old two can also play rogues. But people did not, people saved in time, confessed their mistakes in time, and bowed their heads to their daughter-in-law.
Such in-laws deserve their daughters-in-law's respect and filial piety!
epilogue:
Parents love their children, but the in-laws with high emotional intelligence will show respect for the daughter-in-law first, as long as they are good, the old two are good, and at the critical moment, the first thing people think about is the son, which is not doubted, and can be understood.
What is precious is that the in-laws can understand the daughter-in-law and respect the daughter-in-law after calming down, can treat the daughter-in-law as an objective individual, can distinguish between right and wrong concepts, can recognize their son's mistakes, can dare to admit after doing wrong things, do not rely on the old and sell the old, can leave room for each other, this is the real good in-laws, only worthy of people's daughters-in-law to call you "parents"!
This is true for in-laws, and it is also true for people. People care about their own interests, but no one can stand on the shoulders of others to satisfy their own selfish desires, only by achieving equality and respect, everything can develop in a good direction.
As an in-laws, don't always say those words that look at your daughter-in-law as a daughter, it doesn't make sense, and no one will believe it! Everyone is still looking at actual actions, trivialities in daily life. In-laws with different hearts, even if they say things beautifully, it will not help, no one is a fool, the poor reputation is caused by you, and it is inevitable that the daughter-in-law will not be filial piety, do you think?