01. The biggest harm that divorce can do to children is the lack of love
Many couples want to divorce, but when they have children, they have to consider the feelings of their children, and children should be happy to come to this world and grow up healthily.
However, there are many irresponsible parents who inexplicably and wonderfully bring them into this world, and then one day for personal reasons, they want to escape and do not want to care.
In the face of the breakdown of the couple's feelings, divorce may also be a better choice, but also think about what to do with the children. For children, parents give not only a kind of love, but also a kind of responsibility.
If parents are only concerned with having children, and do not care about raising them, do not give birth to them, because there are some things that their little minds can bear, nor should they bear. The biggest harm to their parents' divorce is that the children have no love, and it is difficult for the children to grow up to have a temperature, because they survive in the cracks from an early age, in order to get more love, it has become a flattering personality.
Why?
Divorced parents are not terrible, the terrible thing is that parents have to build their own families, children have become superfluous people in the parents, before there is a home to return, after the parents divorced, there is no home to return.
At this time, the child has to learn to look at the color in order to live, slowly become precocious, and know the cold and warm of the world very early, so that they have a good attitude to face the future is not easy.
Secondly, the divorce of parents makes children have no love and lack of security from an early age, so that children who grow up have sensitive and suspicious personalities, are prone to inferiority, and they will not look forward to the future married life, but will only be afraid and afraid of taking the original path of their parents.
02. Even if you divorce, you must also do a good job of communication When divorcing, you must first communicate with your children to let him understand that the end of marriage is another kind of beginning
In "The Season of Falling Flowers", Ning Yu is sad because her husband cheated on her husband, and her husband was arrested by the procuratorate in an accident, she did not hide her son, but told her son that his father was arrested. Although she didn't know it, they hadn't used his father's embezzled money, so she and her son didn't need to be ashamed to have a corrupt husband and father.
And the son said: I feel ashamed, before the father cheated on the mother let forgive him, saw the mother crying sad forgive him, this time he committed a crime, no longer forgive him. In this way, it seems that the son is particularly disappointed in his father, and how much he respects his father before, because his father has been ridiculed once by his classmates, and he did not expect that this time he was directly a corrupt criminal. The son really couldn't understand whether his father had considered their feelings, as for where he and his mother were, he would be the son of a corrupt criminal in the future, who felt that he and his mother were innocent, how he and his mother were going to face colleagues and classmates, so he hated his father.
Ning Yu said to his son: You have to face the wind and rumors, it is not a good way to endure humiliation and burden, but to adjust your mentality, dad is dad, you are you, so dad makes mistakes that have nothing to do with you.
This dialogue is a good textbook, the father's fault does not need the son to carry, in the reputation must be damaged, but in reality, the son does not know that the father's fault should not be let the child to carry. Therefore, Ning Yu, as a mother, is a very good mother, she put down all things before her son left school in order to take care of her son's emotions, told him the truth, did not want him to hear from others, and did not want her son to be hit without mental preparation.
03. Communicate well with your children before divorce Looking at the preparations Ning Yu did when preparing for divorce, she and her son first told him what mistakes his father had made, they first accepted him together, then adjusted their emotions, and then encouraged and communicated with each other.
Ning Yu communicated with her son, hoping that he could face the future storm with her mother like a little adult, neither letting him hate her father, nor standing morally to accuse her husband, but telling her son the truth.
When Ning Yu found out that her husband had cheated on her, she gave her husband a chance, and also considered that the child needed a complete home, so she tried to save her husband, a whole night of waiting, and a whole night of insomnia, but his husband did not thank her, and he broke off contact with Xiao San, and opened a company with Xiao San to design their marital property.
Finally, when Ning Yu saw the facts clearly, he also told his son the story of the incident, so that the son was mentally prepared, if he hated his father, he would hate it first, and when you understood, learn to forgive him.
Ning Yu is a mother with knowledge and some psychology, she understands that it is because her father made mistakes since she was a child, and she and her brother were hurt by the outside world, so that she lived under the days of single parents and anonymity from childhood, so she did not want her children to suffer from what she had suffered before.
Therefore, in the child's heart, she pays more attention to the child's psychological changes, and even the Jian Hongcheng who has chased her for more than ten years cannot be compared, she said: The son stands first.
However, in reality, many parents do not deal with the parent-child relationship in this way, the feelings between husband and wife are broken, using children as armor, making it difficult for children to be human in the middle, so that many children have lost love because of their parents' divorce.
Therefore, they are like Ning You as parents, more concerned about the child's psychology, more responsible for the child, even if the husband and wife want to divorce, the harm to the child will not be too big. Although divorce has little impact on them if they can communicate well with their children, healthy families are more able to raise children with strong happiness.