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The Stranger: "Sometimes we think we are very sure of things, but in fact we are not. ”
Many people's marriages have such problems. Before marriage, he swore that he had met true love, and that the person he loved was worthy of trust, but after marriage, he found that he had encountered a non-person.
For women, whether they will suffer losses in the in-laws' house after marriage often depends on this kind of problem, depending on whether the person they marry is a good person, whether they are a good husband, and whether they are a good man in marriage.
As long as the woman is not the kind of person who is arrogant and loves to bully others, whether she will suffer losses in the in-laws' house after marriage depends only on the man, because the relationship between the woman and the in-laws is established by the man, and the in-laws are bullied because the in-laws have the tacit consent of the men.
The following two women are both people who have suffered losses in their in-laws' homes, and judging from their husbands' attitudes, it is clear that they are to blame.
The mother's family's life is closed, but the in-laws' family sees death and cannot be saved.
There is a saying called "saving the emergency does not save the poor", which also makes sense in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
However, not everyone can understand this sentence correctly, some people just use this sentence as an excuse not to borrow money to go out, even if others have a major event that lives are at stake, they still say "save the emergency and not save the poor", which is a bit of nonsense.
As a reader said when she complained about her mother-in-law: "My mother is short of money for medical treatment, and the doctor said that the problem is a bit serious, and if it is not treated in time, it may be life-threatening." I didn't have any money in my hand, and my husband's phone couldn't get through, so I had to ask my mother-in-law for help, explain the situation to her, and ask her if she could borrow me twenty thousand first. She said that she had no money, she did not borrow, she said that her money to save the emergency is not to save the poor, afraid that I am not up, do not want to help the poor, let me go to find someone else, said that I am poor and crazy should not look for her, do not dare to make up the excuse that the mother's family is short of money. If she just didn't borrow, I don't blame her; but she didn't borrow and said so many humiliating words to me, I was angry! ”
Anger is useless, after she was rejected by her mother-in-law, she called her husband's phone and told her husband about her mother-in-law's problems, but she was criticized by her husband, saying that she did not understand things and should not ask her mother-in-law to borrow money. She didn't have time to argue with him, asked him for money, and was refused, saying that he didn't have cash in his hand, and the money in the card couldn't be taken out, so she let her think of her own way, and then hung up the phone.
Her husband is still like this ghost, let alone her mother-in-law. The reason why her mother-in-law dared to treat her like that, in addition to being very bad in itself, was that she had no fear, and her son would protect her, so she was unscrupulous.
I am his wife, not his victim of filial piety.
As a child, I want to be a filial piety and a grandson, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, no one should sacrifice others to realize their desire to be filial piety and grandchildren.
Unfortunately, some people do not care whether others sacrifice or not, thinking that as long as they can realize their wishes, any price is worth it, even if it is their wives who sacrifice.
The husband of a reader is such a person: "My marriage to him is equivalent to naked marriage, no bride price, no car and house, and buying a house after marriage is also my big head, his small head." He hid it from his parents and didn't ask him for a penny. After that, my father-in-law was sick and hospitalized, and he didn't need money, and his mother-in-law didn't use the money in her hand, so I used the remaining 20,000 yuan to buy a house. The balance of the renovation was paid by me, and he hid it from his in-laws and said that I had not paid a penny; his father was in debt to see a doctor, and he punched the fat man and told his in-laws that there was not much money, and the debt was transferred to both of us. ”
She said that her husband had wiped out all her contributions to the family on her mother-in-law's side, so much so that her mother-in-law thought she had taken advantage of marrying their son. In fact, he punched his swollen face and became fat, and he wanted to face the guilt of death, and realized his wish to be a filial piety and a grandson at the cost of sacrificing his wife.
Her husband's behavior made her already unreasonable mother-in-law even more invincible, bullying her when she was pregnant, counting her in front of outsiders on the day she gave birth, encouraging her son to make a divorce, and looking for someone to talk to her, she pointed at her nose and scolded.
Her mother-in-law dared to do this, obviously with the support of her son. She was bullied by her mother-in-law, which was obviously caused by the man's inaction. His filial piety, cowardice, and motherhood attributes have made him unable to become a good husband in marriage, and whoever marries him will not have a good life.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
If the husband of the woman in front of her is a good husband and does not allow her in-laws to bully her, her mother-in-law will not dare to make a big fuss about her. Even if her mother-in-law still doesn't understand things, the protection and warmth her husband gives her can make her feel at ease.
If the husband of the woman in the back is a good husband, and does not sacrifice his wife to be a filial piety and a virtuous grandson, there is a clear distinction between grace and resentment, and her mother-in-law does not dare to point at her nose and scold.
In such a marriage, a woman lives like an island, and the problems that should be faced by husband and wife can only be faced by one person in the end. When bullied by the in-laws, the husband should have come forward, but the man was like a dead man, or a shrunken-headed turtle, or joined hands with the in-laws to bite his wife.
Many of these women initially feel like they are married to true love, only to find out that this is not the case.
Some women have divorced with a fierce heart, and some women are still struggling with whether to divorce or not. In fact, there is nothing to tangle, do not divorce, you will continue the pain of the moment, your husband and mother-in-law who have tormented you for ten and a half years, it is almost impossible to change. Divorced, although it is possible to usher in a new life ordeal, at least it will not be tormented by your disgusting husband and mother-in-law. Where to go should be measured clearly, and wavering is the worst option.