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Why do people get married?
Zang Hongfei said in "Strange Story":
"We need marriage, we want someone who can accompany us against the world."
I think that the meaning of marriage, in addition to the factor of reproduction, is more to support each other and fight against risks.
01
Regarding the significance of marriage, Luo Zhenyu once said:
"A glass of water at three o'clock in the morning, mutual companionship when old age, mutual support in difficult times, this is the meaning of marriage."
The meaning of marriage is more or less.
Life is like a journey, a long road, may be beautiful scenery, more likely to be stormy.
Find a teammate who cares for you and shares all the hardships along the way. That's what it means for us to get married.
In the TV series "Who Said I Can't Get Married", Cheng Lu, the "older leftover girl" played by the nursery rhyme, can't find the meaning of marriage without worry.
It wasn't until one day, when her mother, who had been with her and took good care of her, remarried and prepared to move abroad, did she begin to panic.
Her mother told 34-year-old Cheng Lu that the meaning of marriage is companionship and mutual support.
02
The avenue is simple, but it is not easy to see through.
Many people think that the state of life when they are young will continue forever, but this is not the case.
When you are young, you are financially independent, in good health, your parents are behind you, your girlfriends are around, and your quality of life is naturally good.
However, when you reach a certain age, your physical function, financial income and ability to resist risks must decline, and the risk of illness and accidents has risen sharply.
Your parents will grow old, your girlfriends will be scattered, and you will be alone, even if you can withstand the loneliness that strikes every day, but can you cope with sudden changes independently?
The essence of life is difficult, and there are very few people who have a peaceful and smooth life.
03
Friend Ye Ni (not her real name) is a 31-year-old "leftover girl".
Not long ago, because of a physical examination, after asking her girlfriend to help for two consecutive days, she suddenly woke up and decided to marry herself.
Ye Ni said: "Although in my heart, I still feel that marriage is not good, but when I think of being isolated and helpless when I am sick, I already have enough reasons to go to the muddy waters of marriage." ”
Until then, marriage had not been Ye Ni's choice. She chose to be single and had fun.
During that time, Zhao Yingjun died of illness, and the café downstairs has been playing the song "Send You a Little Red Flower", and the song is melodious and gentle, singing her heart.
Her stomach had been uncomfortable, and she decided to go to the hospital for a physical examination.
The doctor advised her to do a painless gastroscopy, general anesthesia. However, to do a painless gastroscopy, you need to be accompanied by a family member, and you also need to be signed by a family member, otherwise you cannot do the examination.
04
Ye Ni works alone in the provincial city, and her parents are not around.
The doctor saw her embarrassed and said that there was no signature from her immediate family, and that familiar friends could do it. Ye Ni's usual interpersonal relationships are OK, and there are several good girlfriends.
However, on such a weekday, she did not know who to ask for help.
She went through the WeChat address book, starting from the best girlfriend, and found 3 people in a row, but the other party really couldn't spare time.
Fortunately, the 4th girlfriend she was looking for was available. And, close to her.
The girlfriend arrived quickly, accompanied her to get the number queue, go to the doctor to prescribe medicine, sign the medicine... It took nearly two hours.
Before leaving, the doctor confessed: take the medicine back to take, defecation and wash the intestines, and then the next morning, come over to do a general anesthesia gastroscopy. Remember, be accompanied by someone.
05
Ye Ni could only ask her girlfriend for help again.
The girlfriend flashed a hint of hesitation on her face, but still promised to come and accompany her the next day.
Early the next morning, Ye Ni got up to take her medication and then tossed and turned. Later, accompanied by her girlfriend, she was weak in her limbs and weak in her whole body, and took a taxi to the hospital.
Next, open orders, draw blood, do electrocardiograms...
Finally, by the time she finished the gastroscope, two or three hours had passed. When she came out, the state of anesthesia had not completely passed, and the whole person was dizzy.
The girlfriend helped her, asked the doctor for the diagnosis results, and then prescribed the medicine, took the medicine, and settled the bill. When it was all over, it was almost noon.
After the girlfriend took a taxi to take her home, she hurried away. And she has not entered since 10 o'clock last night, and after her girlfriend left, she lay on the bed, physically and mentally exhausted.
06
This time, the storm of seeing a doctor touched Ye Ni very deeply.
She had predicted too much of an ideal future of her single life before, and she had never thought that there would be so many problems when she did a physical examination to see a doctor.
Although this time there was the help of her girlfriend, she knew very well in her heart that no matter how good her girlfriend was, it was difficult to compare with her family.
Moreover, the girlfriend has her work life, has her parents and children, and it is impossible to appear at any time when you need it every time.
Ye Ni remembered a scene in the TV series "Thirty Only".
In the play, Wang Manni was infused in the hospital late at night. The mother, who was thousands of miles away, worried that after she fell asleep, she didn't know that she had finished the air, so she deliberately stayed up at home all night to remind her to change her medicine.
Family is family after all. Ye Ni had some awakenings, she said, when the body is well nourished, it is time to find a suitable person to be in, it is time to marry herself.
07
There is a saying on the Internet that says:
"Life is the most accurate education, it will blow away the fog of delusion, force you to look directly at the glare, tears and grow rapidly." 」
Everyone's cognition has limitations. There are many things in life that it is difficult for you to empathize before you are really touched.
Why did your parents urge you to get married?
Because they have really experienced, a series of things in life, they know how difficult life is, how hard it is; they know the suffering of life, how bitter it is.
They also know that in the current environment, there is no other way to deal with social risks that can be safer than marriage and children.
The core of happiness is stability. Getting married and having children is a relatively safe and stable road that the predecessors have walked, and your parents want you to be happy.
08
Yi Lijing, host of "Position", once said:
"Marriage is a life choice, not a necessity."
Indeed, marriage is just a choice on the menu of life.
But you must not forget that the meaning of marriage is to fight the risks, and the risks of being single are too great, and not everyone is suitable for living alone.
Even if you advocate freedom and don't want to get married, you must do a good job in economic construction and psychological construction as soon as possible, and you must make more friends and make good friends...
This way you can better cope with the various crises in your life.
In fact, what is really difficult is not marriage, not procreation, but life itself.
Whether it is married life or single life, if you want to harvest happiness, you need the triple blessing of ability, mentality and luck.
It's not that you're not married, it's that you're greeted by a happy single life; it's not that you get married and solve all the problems once and for all.
The meaning of marriage is to support each other and fight against risks, and for most ordinary people, marriage is an ideal choice.
Finally, I hope you can look at marriage dialectically and make the choice that suits you best according to your specific situation.
If you choose to get married, then I wish you a happy marriage; if you choose to be single, then I wish you a happy single.
Well, today is here, I hope that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Yu'er, please pay attention to me, give the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~