It is said that marriage is a matter of two people, but in fact, when we marry a person, we are marrying a family, a family, marrying his habits, values, etc., and wanting to avoid the family to talk about marriage, that is all fantasy! #心居 #
Ge Yue is a girl with no ideas, she grew up spoiled by her parents, she has no intentions, let alone superfluous thoughts, and what her parents say is what it is, which is one of the main reasons for her eventual marital misfortune.
In the play, Ge Mother's role is still relatively much, I thought that this middle-aged lady is synonymous with elegant intellect and reasonableness, but with the development of the plot, I found that if according to the idea of this mother-in-law, then Ge Yue's final marriage broke down, and Ge Mother should have half of the "credit"!
Behind the scenes, he slandered his relatives and let his daughter tangle
Mother Ge, on the surface, looks at zhishu Dali and double business online, and has also seen the world, but in terms of speaking, especially when talking to her own family, she is slightly less considerive, which is easy to bring trouble to her daughter's marriage!
When the family met, although Mother Ge saw some shortcomings and deficiencies of Gu Xin's mother, she was very disgusted, but she did not say anything at that time, but chose to treat each other with courtesy, and only after the Gu family left did she complain to her husband and daughter, which was still very good. If she could have been like this, maybe Ge Yue would have been a little happier, but unfortunately she didn't!
Her bad side is that she does not think about it when she expounds her dissatisfaction with her relatives, as if she has been holding back for a long time and then confides in a complaining, even slanderous tone. She felt that Gu Xin's parents were small and childish, and they had never seen the world, and the sons cultivated by such a family were not worthy of their daughters at all, and she should be unhappy in her heart.
But how can parents prevent their children from marrying? After all, Gu Xin's personal conditions are not bad, and his future is good. The Ge family only has one daughter, Ge Yue's father is already old, and he has two years to retire, and it is not easy for them to find a son-in-law like Gu Xin who has a promising future and is satisfied with his daughter. Ge Yue was not prominent in all aspects, but Gu Xin had the benefits of Gu Xin!
Ge Dad will inevitably lose a lot of contacts after retirement, but Gu Xin can have a bright future, as long as Ge Dad has a slight promotion to Gu Xin in the past two years, then the daughter's future life will not be worse, this is a very important point for Ge Dad to look at Gu Xin, both families understand in their hearts, so no one can say who is climbing high!
Ge's mother also knew that she could not stop her daughter from marrying Gu Xin, so she slandered her relatives in front of her daughter and husband, making her daughter's heart both entangled and annoyed, why bother?
Ge Yue is a very well-behaved girl, she must consider the opinions of her parents, but also take care of Gu Xin's emotions, she can't handle the problems in this, once there is a contradiction, then can her life be too peaceful? Moreover, ge Yue married into the Gu family, and when she thought of facing such a mother-in-law in the future, her heart would inevitably feel uncomfortable.
If Ge's mother changes to another way, talk to her daughter well, and let her daughter be mentally prepared, it will be different. Tell her that after observing the behavior of her relatives, she can conclude that her future mother-in-law is relatively small, the small family is angry, and she will definitely say some sour words, which is very normal, after all, the mother-in-law will be hostile to the daughter-in-law, do not panic. If the daughter suffers any grievances in the in-laws' house in the future, she can bear with it first, or go back to her mother's house to talk to her parents, don't fight with her mother-in-law, and so on. She can even teach her daughter some coping methods so that her daughter will not be so passive, is this not good?
Before marriage, Ge's mother was like this, and after marriage, she was even more excessive, afraid that her daughter would be wronged, so every time she faced the behavior of her relatives and family, she first kept nagging, Ge Yue's already flustered heart was even more irritable, and she also increased more dissatisfaction with her in-laws, so how could Ge Yue's relationship with her mother-in-law be good?
Mixed with the marriage of his daughter, he regarded himself as a person in the bureau
Although marriage cannot involve only two people, it is up to them to face the affairs between husband and wife behind closed doors! As a parent, it is better to intervene less in the contradictions between children.
Just as the so-called bedside fight bedside close, if there is a little problem between husband and wife, they can fully digest it themselves, parents do not need to make a fuss, and should not be directly mixed in, after all, you are not a person in the bureau, they are. Parents put themselves in the middle of the small couple, then they will have a gap in their hearts, is this what parents hope to see?
There is also a very important point, many times once the elders are involved, the contradictions between the younger generations will escalate, the contradictions between husband and wife will become family conflicts, and the relationship between the two families will also be tense, which will not be good for solving the problem, and may even be the effect of adding fuel to the fire. Ge's mother was completely unaware of this, afraid that her daughter would be wronged, so whenever she saw her daughter unhappy, she would directly intervene in the relationship between Ge Yue and Gu Xin, making the two of them both embarrassed and annoyed.
Ge's father was taken away because of some problems at work, Gu Xin began to be irritable, and Gu's mother was even more worried that the Ge family would affect her son's future, so she always nagged endlessly. In the face of her mother-in-law's endless sarcasm and sour words, Ge Yue felt very uncomfortable but powerless.
In fact, she had already told Gu Xin about this matter directly, and she had already poured out her inner dissatisfaction, and then Gu Xin comforted Ge Yue a little, and the matter passed. Ke Ge's mother just went upstairs to give pigeon soup to her pregnant daughter, and found that her daughter was in tears, and she was immediately not calm!
If Ge's mother really has a pattern, she should first put down the soup, immediately turn around and go out, and then ask her daughter behind her back, and then persuade her daughter for the root of the problem, teach her how to deal with her mother-in-law, and finally talk to Gu Xin to let him understand her daughter. But Ge's mother directly questioned Gu Xin, which made Gu Xin very embarrassed.
Ge Yue and Gu Xin had two words of conversation because of their ex-girlfriend's affair, and Gu Xin had just explained the matter clearly. But because the phone did not hang up, Ge Yue's parents listened to a few words about Gu Xin and his ex-girlfriend, and then they were furious. As a result, the contradiction escalated immediately, and the small contradiction between the husband and wife immediately escalated into a family war, and Ge's mother directly questioned Gu Xin on the phone, and Ge's father also bluntly said that he was very disappointed in Gu Xin.
In fact, in this regard, Ge Yue also has personal problems, if she directly told her mother that the matter between them can be solved by themselves, they can also cover up the matter, but Ge Yue listened to her mother's words and gave the phone to Gu Xin, which is equivalent to worsening the contradiction between husband and wife, and Gu Xin's attitude towards her father-in-law and mother-in-law has also changed significantly. Think about it, the Ge family's approach is to obviously regard Gu Xin as an outsider, and it is to make Gu Xin stand on the opposite side, so that it is only bad for the development of their husband and wife's feelings, there is no benefit. In the eyes of the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is an outsider, and the daughter-in-law is uncomfortable. In the eyes of the mother-in-law, the son-in-law is an outsider, and the son-in-law is not comfortable in his heart!
The child's marriage first let them try it themselves, really encountered a hurdle that can't go, and then the parents come forward, leave some room for the children, and leave a way back for themselves, is it not good?
If there is a slight dissatisfaction, he will hold a meeting for his son-in-law, and he should pay attention to the ways and methods to support his daughter
Mother Ge also has a point that makes Gu Xin very disgusted is to hold a family meeting at every turn to question!
Because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because of the past, because of the daughter's tears, etc., as long as the Ge family is dissatisfied, they will call Gu Xin over for training, but what is the result of this?
Ge's mother told the two of them everything from realizing marriage, from pregnancy to moving, is this complaining about the son-in-law, or looking down on the family? Didn't you give everything you did in the first place? How would Gu Xin feel when he heard it?
Fathers-in-law and mother-in-law are willing to pay for their daughter's happiness and are willing to be wronged, but the premise is that the in-laws must be good to their daughters! This is the idea of many parents, there is indeed no problem, but it is necessary to pay attention to the method of doing things, and Ge's mother's approach is equivalent to canceling out the previous efforts of the Ge family, and also making the son-in-law resentful.
Gu Xin would not feel sorry for Ge Yue, he would only be more dissatisfied with his father-in-law and mother-in-law, and he felt that he was incompetent, which would not be of any benefit to Ge Yue. Just as the so-called "great grace is like a great vendetta", especially the fathers-in-law and mother-in-law, if you give the son-in-law too much help, then you must not mention more, mention more son-in-law will have opinions, the daughter will also be embarrassed, after all, the real want to live together is the two of them! What we want is our daughter's happiness, as for the son-in-law's gratitude or not gratitude, don't worry so much, he has always remembered, there will always be a burden, so it is not good for our daughter's happiness!
Parents who want to support their daughters have a few suggestions:
The first is to find the right family. Two families with the same social background and the same ideological concepts are easier to get along with and easier to solve problems.
The second is to strengthen yourself first. The daughter's biggest backing is the mother's family, only the mother's family has enough confidence, then the daughter has the capital to support it, isn't it?
Third, to resolve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must use our brains. All mothers-in-law have experienced the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so I hope that my daughter can avoid it, but the mother-in-law is not a fuel-saving lamp, what we need to do is to teach the daughter how to deal with the mother-in-law's pickiness and embarrassment, which Ge Dad did very well!
Words at the end:
Ge Yue's ending is actually quite tragic, and the Ge family in the novel does not mix too much with Ge Yue's marriage, so there is no actual contradiction between the two families. And after giving birth to the child, Gu's mother is also very good to Ge Yue, helping to take care of the child, and also speaking for Ge Yue, seeing that her son is not good for her daughter-in-law is also a direct criticism of Gu Xin, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good.
But Ge Yue has a weak personality, knowing that her husband is cheating but dare not divorce, can only secretly do some small actions, and finally can't bear to divorce, Gu Xin also went in, Ge Yue can only be pregnant for six months to find a way for Gu Xin.
Ge Yue's forbearance in marriage did not exchange for Gu Xin's pity, and the Ge family's efforts did not impress Gu Xin's greedy heart, Gu Xin was a scumbag!